Charlie's Journal
by xXxPrincessKayxXx
Summary: The sequel to Charlie's Story. Her Parent's are superstars now it's her turn in the spotlight, can Charlie live up to famous Gray name?
1. Chapter 1

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter One**

**AN: Hey all!  
Here is the sequel to Charlie's Story I hope you like it.  
Please Review!!!!!!  
I need five before I post chapter two  
PrincessKay  
**

Name: Charlotte (Charlie) Gray

Age: 15

DOB: May 24th 2010

Ok here goes nothing a new notebook and a new tale to tell. In just two days I turn sixteen which is really exciting I am having a big birthday slash going away party. Going away because in just nine days, the band I am in will be joining my father's band on their summer tour. Yep you read that right. My band with my almost brother Noah, my best guy friend Seth and my boyfriend Dylan will be spending the best part of three months touring America with my father and two uncles. Performing as one of Connect three's opening act's to stadiums with tens of thousands of people just about every night. Yeah I know it's insane our first album hasn't even come out yet! Of course I wasn't exactly happy about my dad using his status to help out the band, I had wanted us to make it because we were talented not because of who I was related to. I was however out numbered in that argument; according to my band mates, the opportunity was just too great to turn down.

So quick recap of my previous notebook.

After spending a summer at Camp Rock summer music camp I discovered my elder sister the famous Michelle (Mitchie) Torres is in fact my mother, my father? The one and only, Shane Gray. At Camp my friends and I formed a band and won final jam, giving us the chance to record a demo cd, which was picked up by famous guitarist Matt Eliot, who was starting a new label with in the record company he is signed to. Sounds like a fairytale right? So earlier this year the band, was the first to be signed, to a major contract with Matt's new label. There was heaps of stuff in the contract that I won't go into too much detail about; I mean it was like a hundred pages long. The important stuff, the label has promised to help the band produce a total of six albums over the next few years, which is amazing! We finished recording our first album less then a month ago it should be in stores by mid June, early July at the latest. Even more amazing was my parent's wedding in late march; it was beautiful and small. Only family were there in an attempt to keep it low key. An attempt which failed! You see ever since my parents got engaged, keeping out of the limelight has been close to impossible. The same time they announced their engagement they announced to the world that they had a teenage daughter, me. While it has boosted their publicity it has made life a little hectic. A few extra bodyguards have been added to the entourage of security that follows my family around, to even up the odds against the even larger number of camera's that follow us around. We did just one interview explaining our family to the world, an exclusive magazine interview. Mom and Dad didn't want to encourage the media attention, deciding that one explanation would be enough to satisfy their curiosity. That's pretty much everything, except for my name. I was given permission to change my last name to Gray after my father, when my mother changed hers. Well permission isn't exactly the right word dad was thrilled I wanted to change it.

As I was saying earlier the band is going on tour which requires rehearsals, as well as lots of other preparation. Today is our last day of rehearsals, which involves spending several hours in a warehouse where the specially built stage we will perform on has been set up. It's a really cool stage; it's big. With a catwalk type thing, so we can move right out into the audience. There are stairs at the back leading up to where the drums and back up band will be and a lift at the end of the catwalk. Our band won't be using the lift it's there for Connect three, but that doesn't mean that the tour director and choreographer Damon Simmons hasn't let us play with it a bit. He is a pretty cool guy when he isn't drilling us about messing up his choreography. He is in his late forties and is really funny. His light brown hair is starting to grey but he is as fit as any of us teenagers, actually he is probably fitter. The bands red bull addiction has only increased since we were signed, with recording then rehearsals. I groan as Damon called a five minute break. We were doing a full rehearsal today; all decked out in our stage clothes with hundreds of bright lights shining down on us. Being late May the weather was heating up. I let myself fall to the ground after I put my guitar down, then snatched up my water bottle and chugged down half of it. It was 12:30 in the afternoon and we had been here since ten that morning. I looked up to see Seth tugging off his shirt and attempt to fan himself with his stage notes. Noah had clearly tipped his bottle of water over his head rather than drink it, his dark hair was plastered to his skull and his bright green t-shirt was drenched. Dylan was downing his forth consecutive bottle of water, holding one hand against his throat.

"I hope you're not losing your voice Dylan, it will be a long tour if you are" Damon informed him. Damon was sitting on the end of the catwalk watching and commenting as we went through each song in our eight song set. Five minutes passed by too quickly if you ask me, before I could even begin to relax our slave driver was calling for us to get up and show him our tricks. To break up our eight songs we each took turns giving a solo. I went first after the second song, Seth had his drum solo after the fourth song and Noah had his after the sixth song, when we swapped guitars. Anyway back to the tricks, Damon had choreographed a series of acrobatic stunts for Noah, Dylan and I to perform during Seth's ever increasing drum solo. I swear he makes it a little bit longer everyday. When we first began learning the tricks Damon had taken us to a special gymnasium where they trained people to film stunts in movies using big crash mats and wires. It was so much fun! All four of us were safely strapped into tight fitting harnesses and wires. Springing lightly from the bouncy trampoline using only the balls of my feet, launching myself into the air and throwing my body forwards into a neat flip. before landing on the trampoline once again. It felt like I could fly. Admittedly the boys where better at it then me, they quickly picked up the movements and could flip easily without the trampolines. I on the other hand didn't have the strength to flip all the way around without the trampolines or someone's help. They boys positioned themselves at either end of the stage while I moved to the centre and lay down on my stomach. I sent Damon a terrified look then ducked my head, squeezing my eyes firmly closed. As Noah and Dylan got a run up and forward flipped above me.

"They wont land on you Charlie, try not to look so scared" Damon sighed shaking his head at me. There was a chuckle behind him that caught our attention. I raised my head to see Connect three. I grinned at my dad who was clearly the one who had been laughing.

"Again boys, no faces this time Charlie" Damon ordered ignoring them. Seth began his drum solo and the boys raced across the stage repeating the flip. Noah decided to tease me and made a purposeful stumble pretending to stand on my arm. I sent him a dark look as they helped me to my feet and the tricks continued.

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Needless to say we were all thankful to get back home. The boys had been living at my house for the passed three weeks while we got ready for tour. While recording in different states was no issue preparing for a tour requires the band to be together. So the boys and their mothers have been living with us. Mom has loved it. She has found it good to spend time with other mothers of teenagers, especially seeing as she hasn't had much practise. All four of us shuffled into the kitchen and greedily ate the lunch our mothers had laid out for us in silence.

"Have you ever heard a quieter group of teenagers?" Noah's mother teased ruffling her son's damp brown hair then pulling away sharply. We chuckled as she wiped her hand on her son's shirt only to pull away again when she discovered it was also damp.

"I don't think I have seen a tireder or smellier group either" Mom got in on the joke refilling my glass with water. I had a comeback prepared in my head but the energy to argue with her was not there. We had only been home for twenty minutes when Caitlyn entered the kitchen with a package in her hands.

"Charlie, Connie and Steve have sent you another box, it's in the living room" she announced placing the small box on the counter and opening it using a kitchen knife, to cut the tape. She removed what looked like four toothpaste tubes and some plastic containers.

"What's that?" Dylan asked taking his plate to the sink. I saw Caitlyn and mom share a glance.

"Perfect, my first victim" Caitlyn cackled in an excellent impression of a wicked witch. She held Dylan by the shoulders and pushed him back down on his chair. Caitlyn handed him a booklet and instructed him to pick a colour, while she opened one of the tubes and began to fill his ear with its contents. Mom spotted the look of confusion on my face.

"It's a mould, you all need in-ear monitors for the tour, and they have to fit tightly into your ear" Suddenly Dylan pushed the book towards me.

"Hey, that's the same colour as your shirt" Dylan said his voice almost shouting, causing all of us to laugh. Dylan couldn't hear us properly, due to his ears being filled with blue gloop. After we each took a turn sitting in the chair with the funny feeling substance in our ears for five minutes, Nate took Dylan, Noah and I upstairs to work on some vocal exercises. Seth being the only band member, who didn't sing, spent the hour getting a head start on his school work. Nate had me and Noah singing scales for ages. We didn't have the vocal training Dylan had and although we can sing, our vocals aren't as polished.

"You're, getting softer as you get higher Charlie" Nate sighed, I groaned loudly as he nodded for us to start again. This was a mistake I made a lot, and I mean a lot. Mom came in the room then to make sure that we finished our hours of school work for the day. Even though we are all homeschooled now we have to fit in four to five hours of school a day. Seth's mother was a teacher before she had Seth and willingly volunteered to become our teacher, she and Caitlyn will be joining us on tour.

"Stand up straighter, it's easier" mom advised placing her hand on my stomach to direct me.

"School?" Noah inquired looking like it would kill him if she said yes. Looking over at Dylan who was pretending to be asleep on the couch and thinking about how tired I was I sighed loudly, agreeing with Noah. My mind wandered over to Dylan and how cute he looked spread out on the couch, with his blonde his lying in front of his face.

"How many hours did you do this morning?" mom asked getting all motherly and authoritive on us. I held up two fingers, we had all woken up at seven and put in two hours before rehearsal that morning.

"Well if you go work hard now, you will have time to go swimming before dinner" Nate offered an incentive.

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Late in the evening I went to my parent's room in search of another delivery from Connie and Steve. They had been sending me boxes of my things as I hadn't been able to take all my belongings on the plane when I had moved to LA at Christmas. The last box had arrived this morning, only I hadn't been able to find it. As I entered their room I saw my father sitting on the bed watching the television. I was a little surprised to see that I was the image on the screen. It was a five year old version of me; I was standing in the lounge room at Connie and Steve's. One of Mitchie's old acoustic guitars strapped over my shoulder and a toy microphone on a stand in front of me. I was dressed up in some pink glittery Disney princess costume, complete with a tiara.

"Oh no" I groaned slumping down on the bed next to my dad and pulling a pillow over my face. Dad chuckled removing the pillow from my grasp.

"_Introducing Charlie Torres" Steve called from behind the camera. Five year old I frowned at him. _

"_No!" I shrieked angrily stomping my foot and placing my hands on my hips. _

Dad started laughing now as we watched the video play out. I cringed embarrassed knowing how it finished.

"_What's wrong?" Connie asked as the camera turned on her._

"_I'm not Charlie!" I cried forcefully dropping the guitar and falling to the floor in a childish fit. _

Dad laughed even harder and mom came to the doorway hearing Shane's almost hysterical laughter from the bathroom.

"_Who are you then?" Connie asked patiently, she successfully avoided a tantrum. I stood up grinning proudly and folded my arms across my chest. _

"_I'm Mitchie!" I announced proudly. _

"_Ok then well perform for us, Mitchie" Steve instructed, humouring me. I picked up the guitar and began strumming it randomly. I then started singing one of Mitchie's very first songs, word for word. _

"_How to chose who to be, well let's see, there's so many choices now, play guitar, be a movie star, in my head a voice says, why not, try every thing, why stop, reach for any dream, I can rock…"_

While I had no idea at that age of how to actually play a guitar, I did have the basic hand movements down from watching Mitchie. That was during my 'Mitchie' phase it was not long after she moved out, I listened to all her cd's on repeat until I could sing each one word for word.

"Wow, I have never seen this before" Mom said coming over to the bed. I swallowed hard; I could understand why Connie and Steve didn't show this part of my life, to mom.

"Maybe it got lost, and turned up when your parents packed up Charlie's room" dad offered as an explanation. I stood up stopped the video and pulled it out of the player. Dad let out a grumble complaining that he was watching it. I tossed it into the box.

"Why did you turn it off, it was cute" mom smiled brushing her fingers through my hair as I sat back down.

"I was five, I didn't understand why my big sister wasn't around anymore" I shrugged. At that moment the phone rang. Dad reached over to answer it. I heard mom sigh, she is always going to feel bad about leaving me.

"Are there more videos?" mom asked continuing to play with my hair. I nodded and she kissed my forehead.

"Could we watch them? I promise to make your dad behave" she grinned poking me gently in the side. I made a face, watching home movies sounds scary and humiliating not fun.

"Your dad has chocolate ice cream in the freezer" she bargained making me giggle. I jumped up and ran to the kitchen hunting around for spoons and this rumoured chocolate ice cream. I pulled open the lid of the big freezer and moved some frozen peas that rested on top of a cardboard box, labelled Shane. Pulling the box open I discovered several tubs of ice cream, my father had stashed away. When I returned mom was on the phone chatting away about something.

"What's going on?" I asked dad and mom's tone became angry. He rubbed mom's leg trying to calm her and let out a sigh.

"Some talk show wants to film your birthday, we told them no but they wont give up" he groaned. I wrinkled my nose a little annoyed that I hadn't heard about this before. I placed the ice cream and spoons on the bed side table.

"And now your mothers PR rep is trying to talk us into it" his tone was bitter now as my mom raised her voice at the person on the phone. I bit my lip and crouched down in front of my mother. I rested my hand next to dads on her leg to get her attention. 'Do it' I mouthed, the corners of her mouth turned down into a scowl. She told the person on the phone she would call back then hung up, never taking her eyes off me. She shook her head at me.

"No, they want a camera crew to follow you around for a day, all day!" her voice took on that authoritive tone. I gave her a 'so what' look to which she shook her head again.

"Dad?" I asked hoping that the whole two against one thing would work for me, it had before. He slid closer to mom, clearly indicating his allegiance with her. I gave a disappointed shake of my head. I had just lost my right hand man. I seemed to be fighting a losing battle. Then I got an idea.

"Caitlyn!" I called towards the door. Within seconds the lively brunette poked her head into the room. I smirked and rose to my feet.

"You're my manager; do you think it would be a bad idea, to have a camera crew at my birthday?" I asked. My parents both said my name, mom's came out like a shriek of shock and dad's came out in a warning sigh. Caitlyn stepped cautiously into the room, assessing the situation.

"As your manager, it's good press…" I beamed happily at her reply and watched victoriously as my parents both glared at Caitlyn. She wasn't looking at them though she was watching me.

"As your aunt, listen to your parents" she scolded, her attitude telling me not to mess with her. I whined anyway slumping to the floor and pouting. Dad placed a hand over his mouth to muffle a chuckle.

"Shane, you're meant to stick with me, don't give in!" mom scoffed, he started shaking, failing in his attempt to hold back the laughter. It slipped out and soon he was almost crying. We had to wait for him to calm down so he could explain.

"She hasn't changed a bit, it's just like the video" he chuckled laughing all over again. Mom smiled slightly. I groaned in annoyance, realising I was being childish and began sulking. Yeah I know sulking is just as childish but I'm still fifteen! I can be childish if I want to! … For a few more days at least.

Charlie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Two**

**AN: Hey Everyone!!!  
Thank You so much for the reviews, alerts and favourites, it means so much to me that you like my stories.  
Ok so same deal as the last chapter I need five reviews before I post the next one.  
I hope you like it. : )  
Princess Kay**

The day before my sixteenth birthday was a busy one. Caitlyn, my parents and I spent a lot of time in the study conference calling music label executives, public relations agents and Hot Tunes producers, coming to an agreement that everyone could live with regarding my birthday celebrations the next day. It was sort of boring sitting there while the adults did most of the talking, so I started sending text messages to my band mates who were down stairs having 'school' in the dining room. Seth's mom came quietly into the study not long after holding my school folder. She sat it down in front of me along with a pen, quietly pointing out what I had to do today. I slumped in my chair with a sigh. I thought I was getting out of school work today.

"If you have time to distract the boys from their work, then you have the time to do yours" Ann stated reminding me so much of Connie. I nodded and began on my math problems with little complaints. I was struggling through a trigonometry equation when Jason and Nate joined our little business meeting. I was sitting between dad and Nate tapping my pen against the wooden table top in frustration. As I angrily erased my answer for the third time, knowing that it was once again wrong, dad leaned over reading the problem and scribbling out a solution in the margin of my page. Nate leaned in also reading dad's answer carefully before shaking his head.

"That's wrong" he whispered smugly to my dad. A frown formed on dad's face as he read the question and attempted to answer it again. Mom cleared her throat effectively gaining our attention.

"Shane, are you going to do Charlie's school work for her?" she asked slightly amused, slightly annoyed.

"She needed help" he defended looking a little guilty. A pointed stare from mom and the meeting went back to normal, except for Nate who kindly explained where I was going wrong.

That evening once everything was sorted we had a barbeque for dinner, and spent the last few hours of daylight splashing about in the pool. After everyone was showered we all gathered in the living room spread out across couches and beanbags. I had struck a deal with my father. He was sitting on the big couch with mom, Caitlyn and Nate. I was lying across my band mates and Jason who were spread out on the beanbags.

"Hey daddy?" I cooed sweetly raising my head from Dylan's lap. He sent me a sceptical look.

"Yes baby?" he replied mimicking my tone, his fingers absently playing with a strand of mom's hair.

"Do you want some ice cream?" I offered him although my intentions were quite clear; I was really asking permission to invade his secret stash. I must admit I was surprised when he nodded his head.

"Yay, ice cream" I cheered gleefully grabbing Dylan's hand and dragging him and the boys with me, to collect it. There was a chuckle behind me.

"She has you wrapped around her finger" mom accused with a giggle, slapping her hand against dad's thigh.

"Hey Charlie, you want ice cream, we get to watch the rest of those DVD's" dad called trying to bargain with me, eager to prove mom wrong. I thought about it for a second poking my head back around the door frame.

"Deal" I grumbled in defeat, returning to my original sitting position this time with a tub of cookie dough ice cream. I had my head resting on Dylan's lap again, I was sitting on Noah and my legs were stretched across Seth. We passed the tub between the four of us. Up on the couch mom, dad, Caitlyn and Nate were sharing a tub of Choc-Banana ice cream. While the other mom's each had a bowl of ice cream, Jason was happily eating his own tub of strawberry. Dad pressed play on the remote.

"_My three girls" my grandfather Steve's voice proudly proclaimed from behind the camera. On the screen Mitchie and Connie where preparing dinner, they were chopping vegetables. Mitchie looked about nineteen making me just three years old. I was sitting on the counter. Popping open fresh peas, Mitchie nudged Connie pointing her knife towards me. I was eating the peas instead of putting them into the bowl next to me. _

_The footage changed to images of Steve teaching me to ride my bike without training wheels for the first time, to Christmas where I was missing my front teeth. Each time I was grinning happily with Connie and Steve by my side. _

With three teenage boys our tub of ice cream was quickly emptied. Dylan shifted my head placing it on his chest. I could hear the even thuds of his heart and I happily pushed myself closer to him too. Noah's hand brushed against my thigh, his fingers softly tracing patterns along my bare skin.

_The footage jumped to me at age thirteen, I was all dressed up, wearing an elegant white dress. I was twirling around in circles as Steve led me around the dance floor of a beautiful ballroom. _

"You looked so pretty there" Dylan breathed in my ear before kissing me sweetly. I greedily kissed him back, reaching an arm behind his head and drawing him closer to me. Dad coughed loudly, effectively and annoying separating us.

"Were you at a wedding?" Jason asked randomly, he appeared quiet engrossed in the video. I shook my head and leaned closer to him holding out my left hand. He frowned looking confused.

"You're too little to get married, it's on the wrong finger you should move it" Jason concluded looking a little bit angry. I giggled shaking my head at him again.

"Jase, I'm not married, daddy…Steve gave me the ring" I corrected pointing to the television. Dad held out his hand for mine, looking almost as confused as Jason. I crawled over to the couch showing dad the ring.

"That's my doing, It's a purity ring Shane" mom announced putting dad's mind at ease.

"Didn't want history to repeat it's self" she said the last bit so softly only dad and I heard. I was tempted to retaliate by saying 'I'm not that stupid' but wisely held my tongue. The topic is still a sore point with mom and I didn't want her to think I was calling her stupid.

A short while later we went to bed so as not to be tired the next day. I decided I would go hug mom and dad goodnight so I wandered down the hall to their room. When I arrived at the door I heard dad mention my name, so I pressed my ear against the wood of the door careful not to make a sound.

"I understand how you felt last summer now, watching those videos knowing it wasn't me there to teach her to ride her bike or to take her to her first day of school…" he trailed off. I heard mom sigh.

"We can't take back the past Shane, and there are going to be plenty of things that you will get to do with her as her father" there was silence and I could picture the look dad would be giving mom right now, a 'Yeah right' sort of look.

"Like teaching her to drive, she is sixteen tomorrow" mom pointed out, I heard a door open down the hall and decided now would be an excellent time to say goodnight. It sure beat getting caught eavesdropping.

Right on midnight I heard a floorboard creak outside my room, I twisted reflexively towards the sound. My bedroom door opened and Dylan snuck inside. I released the breath I hadn't realised I had been holding in. he lay down next me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy birthday" he whispered pressing his soft warm lips to mine. I mentally awed. I have such a sweet boyfriend.

I awoke the next morning still comfortably in Dylan's arms. I could hear the sounds of movement downstairs letting me know other people in the household were already awake and out of bed.

"Good morning birthday girl" Dylan greeted trailing small kisses from my ear to my jaw and down my neck to my collarbone. I shivered and felt his lips pull into a smirk as I did. Deciding it was fun to watch me squirm, Dylan rubbed his tongue across the sensitive skin near my collarbone. I reached behind him grabbed a handful of his blonde hair and brought his lips up to mine. We pulled away breathing hard, I stared into his bright blue eyes.

"Dylan? Has anyone seen Dylan?" Mrs Watson called from the hall. Dylan instantly tensed up and I bit my bottom lip nervously. I jumped out of bed in a panic and pushed my palm firmly against his shoulder, hinting for him to hide under my bed. Even with my purity ring I highly doubted our parents would be ok with our sleepover last night. I took a deep breath to compose myself, before twisting my doorknob and leaving my room.

"Good morning Mrs Watson" I said as naturally as I could. She smiled at me and wished me a happy birthday. I was very thankful that I managed to lead her downstairs, giving Dylan a chance to relocate. Awaiting me downstairs was a big breakfast and lots of birthday hugs. I had finally sat down after hugging everyone, when Dylan joined us.

"Dylan, where have you been? I was looking everywhere for you" Mrs Watson gave her son a 'you're in trouble' stare.

"The shower" Dylan shrugged nonchalantly and sat down. Noah gave me a look that said 'yeah right!" clearly not buying Dylan's response. Once we had finished eating and the table was cleared uncle Nate told everyone to return to their seats.

"Ok before everyone disappears because we all know as soon as we get to the park we have no hope of re-grouping" Nate began to ramble.

"The point honey" Caitlyn interrupted hinting him to hurry it along. Nate reached behind Caitlyn and grabbed a large silver gift bag. He held it up in his right hand and held his left arm out, sending me a pointed look. I jumped from my chair and hugged him.

"Happy Birthday Charlie!" he grinned, Caitlyn also gave me a hug before I was handed my first present. I excitedly pulled out a hot pink bikini that had 'rock star' written on it in black block lettering. A pair of matching black board shorts which were decorated with pink and white. A black and white cap, matching flip flops and a pair of black ray bans.

"Caitlyn, I told you not to go over board and spoil her!" Mom scolded admiring the objects as I pulled them out of the bag.

"And I told you I am her only aunt and it's my job" Caitlyn protested.

"Thank you Aunt Caitlyn, Uncle Nate" I giggle hugging them both again. Jason came over for a hug too, whispering that I would get his surprise later.

"You think we spoil her, you are going to kill her grandparents" Nate chuckled as the doorbell rang. Mom's eyes widened and Shane stared down his little brother trying to work out what Nate knew that he didn't. The moment was interrupted with the doorbell however. I sprinted to the door in a happy mood knowing whoever was here was here to see me. I opened the door to find three strangers, a woman with strawberry blonde hair and shiny green eyes introduced them as a film crew from Hot Tunes. The ones we had spent most of the previous day organising. She was one of the show's producers along with her were two guys a cameramen and an audio guy. I blushed slightly when I realised I was still wearing my pyjamas. Feeling embarrassed I ushered them inside quickly and raced upstairs to get changed into my new clothes. I added a white hooded jacket as it was still cool outside despite the promised warm day. I was in a really good mood, I am officially sixteen and my life is as lose to prefect as it can get. I came downstairs to find everyone almost ready to leave, being a bit of a show off a strutted into the room in my best impression of a catwalk model.

"How do I look?" I asked twirling around to show off my out fit. I received several chuckled for my effort.

"Beautiful princess" dad smiled kissing my forehead. When I released my father from a hug I remembered the film crew. The producer was chatting away to Caitlyn while the camera guys were following my every move. Kind of creepy but I had agreed to this. I moved over towards Caitlyn and the producer who told me her name was Kimberly.

I bet you are wondering how we managed to convince mom to let the film crew come at all. After reminding her that she had no hope of keeping me hidden from the media now that the band was bringing out a record and touring, as well as Caitlyn assuring her that she would keep them in check she gave in.

"Could you give us a line, Charlie?" the producer asked me I shrugged nodding my head not really understanding what she wanted me to do.

"Just look at the camera and read what's on this page" she smiled pointing out a line from her clipboard. On the camera guys signal I smiled and read the line.

"Hi Hot Tunes viewers, I'm Charlie Gray and you get an exclusive invite to my sixteenth birthday so keep watching" I said in an overly enthusiastic tone. The camera guy gave me a 'thumbs up' letting me know I had done it right. Just as I turned away I felt someone come up behind me to give me a hug. Lips pressed against my cheek and I giggled in surprise then I felt a hand touch my head. I reached my hand up to find out what they were up to. My fingers grasped a plastic tiara.

"Happy Birthday Princess Charlotte" Seth teased added a strong emphasis on my full name, before chuckling and disappearing. I should have known Seth wouldn't let an occasion such as this go by without teasing and tricking me at every chance he had. Seth is our resident prankster, his favourite target, me. He openly admits this too, saying that I give the best reactions. It's not my fault I have a short temper and scare easily.

"Seth" I whined dragging out each syllable.

"Charlotte Marie, what on earth are you hollering about?" I froze at the sound of Steve's voice calling out a comment I had heard a million times over the years. I glanced up to see all four of my grandparents enter the room. I ran to hug each of them happily.

"So do you want your present?" grandad Craig (Shane's dad) asked the familiar family smirk forming on his face. I nodded eagerly excitement taking over the anger I felt towards Seth.

"Close your eyes" he instructed taking my hand. I squeezed my eyes firmly closed.

"No peaking Charlie" Connie warned me not too far behind as I was guided somewhere. I heard the front door open and I was cautioned about the step I was approaching.

"Oh you didn't" I heard Mom choke out in disapproval, followed by a clearly annoyed groan from Dad.

"What did I tell you?" Nate said triumphantly seeming proud that they we're annoyed. I felt everyone around me stop and my grandfather squeezed my hand causing me to halt too. His fingers removed mine hand from his pulling it open and dropping something cold into my palm. I reflexively curled my hand into a fist trying not to scream as my fingers closed around a key. I peeled open my eyes staring down at the object in my hand completely speechless. Raising my eyes I found myself standing in front of a cute black car, the number plates reading 'Charlie'.

"What do you think?" Grandma Donna asked as I took a shaky step forward to inspect the car further.

"I really wish you guys hadn't, or had at least consulted Shane and me first" Mom sighed in defeat.

"This is so cool!" I squealed hugging all four grandparents again. I bounced around like a little kid who had eaten too much sugar. Running around to the driver's seat and unlocking the door.

"Hey dad, how's a driving lesson sound?" I giggled twirling the key ring around my finger. He grinned before Nate practically shoved his watch under dad's nose reminding him we had to leave soon.

"How's about I drive, once around the block and we reschedule that lesson for tomorrow?" He offered moving closer and holding out his hand for the key.

"Deal" I beamed tossing him the key and jogging over to the passenger seat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Three**

**AN: Hey All!  
thank you as always to everyone who reviewed the  
last chapter, or added this story to alerts or favourites  
you are amazing!!!  
I hope you enjoy this chapter  
Princess Kay**

Less than a hour later me, my parents, all four of my grandparents, my three band mates, their mothers, my two uncles, my aunt, a three person crew from Hot Tunes, two body guards and a bus driver piled onto a bus. Yes a bus, with that many people it was sort of needed, and in case you lost count that's a total of twenty two. Once we were all seated and on our way, Kimberly the Hot Tunes producer asked me to introduce everyone on the bus. Starting at the back of the bus I sat down amongst my three band mates.

"Hey Hot Tunes I'd like you to meet some people, here are my three awesome band mates Dylan, Seth and Noah" I grinned pointing out each one who waved in turn. Then I jumped up and moved along to my family.

"Here are my grandparents, Connie and Steve Torres and Donna and Craig Gray"

After they all smiled and said hello, I moved on towards Nate and Caitlyn, then Jason

who of course gave me a big hug. Taking a seat in between my parents I received

kiss on each cheek.

"I am sure everyone knows Mitchie Torres and Shane Gray, or Mom and Dad to

me" I giggled as dad dug his fingers into my side. I flinched away jumping up and

moving over the next passenger. A large man with dark features a black T-shirt and

walkie talkie literally glued to his ear.

"This is Randy head of security, and the best body guard ever" I informed the camera as I hugged him too. He chuckled at my comment squeezing me tightly.

"Don't you trust this girl's sweet smile, she's a little monkey" he teased stealing my

cap and tossing it to Carl who put it on his bald head. I shifted to sit on Carl's lap

reaching up and attempting to retrieve the cap. Carl is another one of our regular body

guards he is about ten years younger than almost forty year old Randy. While I was

slightly distracted with trying to get my hat back Randy kindly introduced Carl.

"Carl is one of several body guards that will be at the party today but being the

youngest he has been given a very special job" he chuckled his face lighting up at the

inside joke. His booming laughter diverted my attention.

"What special job?" I frowned wanting to understand the joke too.

"Carl is on princess duty today, looking after Daddies little birthday girl" he laughed

again reaching over to mess up dad's hair. I rolled my eyes again with the princess

comments! Dad pulled a face and began tugging his hair back into place. Carl returned my hat at this point not wanting to tick off me or dad.

"I hope you like water slides Carl" I teased returning to sit between mom and dad. It was kinda squishy as the seat was really only meant for two people, so dad pulled me onto his lap to give us all some more room.

"Six, sixteen or twenty six, you're always going to be my little girl" he whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms more firmly around me.

"Could you tell us where we are going Charlie?" Kimberly asked from behind the camera.

"We are headed to Raging Waters Water Park" I answered in a sing song voice anticipating how much fun the day would be. It definitely was a fun and tiring day. When we arrived at the park it appeared a lot of people knew about my birthday plans because there were a lot of cameras around trying to see which celebrities would be present at my party. Security was doing an excellent job of keeping them out of the park and away from the entrance. Carl taking his role very seriously placed his hand on my shoulder as we exited the bus and kept it there until we were safely inside the park. Due to the contract with Hot Tunes we couldn't stand around and let the cameras take their photos so they would leave us alone. Entering the park I heard a loud squeal before a light blonde launched herself at me in a tight hug. I giggled hugging her back.

"Hello Alexis" I greeted as she pulled away and began rambling so fast I really couldn't understand her, as well as Alexis just about all of my friends from camp rock and several friends from my old school had been invited. The record label had invited a bunch of bands and people they were connected to and my entire extended family was there too. In short there were a lot of people there. We went on ride after ride running around and doing way too much shouting. Everywhere I went Carl, Kimberly and the two camera guys came too. It's not normal that Carl or anyone follow me around like that so it was a little weird, but I got used to it. Carl had only been given the job because mom and dad were worried about leaving me alone with the Hot Tunes people and because the other guards probably wouldn't be able to keep up.

"Alright the last person has to make the winners bunk for a week on tour" Dad set up the bet while he, Dylan, Noah, Seth, Nate, Jason, Caitlyn and I prepared to ride the Ragin' racers, An eight lane water slide where you raced each other on mats to the bottom. We all nodded eagerly grabbing our mats and moving into position on the slides. The person running the ride came along and shifted some of us a little forward or back on the starting line, so it was an even race. The idea all started when very competitive Uncle Nate and Aunt Caitlyn spotted the ride and made their own tour bet, over hearing Noah decided that it would be fun to get all eight of us in on it.

"Good luck" I wished to Jason who was in the lane next to me.

"Thanks, you don't need luck you're gonna win cause it's your birthday" he smiled back at me, I giggled thanking him. I know my uncle doesn't sound like the smartest of guys but that's not true, mom has explained to me that Jason isn't stupid he just sees the world differently to the rest of us. To him that sentence was completely logical. I stared straight ahead as the lights flashed red, yellow and finally to green signalling the start of the race. With the forceful push I was sliding to the finish line on my stomach. I could see Jason zoom straight past me and as I approached the bottom I saw several others reach it too as water splashed up everywhere. Standing up from the small pool at the bottom I grabbed my mat and dragged it out of the finish zone and onto the collection pile.

"Who won?" I asked mom as she passed me my towel to wipe my face dry. She nodded her head to where Aunt Caitlyn and Uncle Nate were having a water fight in the end zone.

"Cheat!" I heard Caitlyn cried, Nate chuckled picking her up bridle style and carrying her from the pool and over to us. The pair was laughing by the time they reached us and another ride attendant showed us a television screen where a recorded copy of our race was showing. Nate clearly won closely followed by Jason and dad. Noah, Seth, Dylan and I were all pretty much even with Aunt Caitlyn a few seconds behind us.

"I still say you cheated" Caitlyn pouted, crossing her arms over her chest, the action earning her a kiss on the cheek from Nate, causing Caitlyn to instantly stop sulking. Many, many rides later I rejoined the group of mothers who had taken on the duty of towel carriers by the café area. I slumped into a seat next to my mother resting my head on her shoulder. It was mid afternoon and I needed a little break.

"Having fun?" Mom smiled brush hair away from my face, then frowning.

"Charlie, you're sunburnt! Didn't you put on sun block?" she exclaimed pulling at my bikini strap to inspect my arm. Seth's mom handed her the bottle and together they began to rub sun block into my pink skin.

'It doesn't look too bad" Connie reassured mom passing me an icy bottle of water. Seth joined the group at this point joking that the smell of hot chips had lured him over, although I don't know about that with all the chlorine everywhere I couldn't smell anything else. He received the same treatment I did when they realise he wasn't wearing sun block too.

"I bet the others aren't either, we should round them up and do the lot of them" Donna said shaking her head.

"I thought Dylan was with you? Your dad and that are over at the racers again and Alexis and Noah disappeared a while ago" Seth informed us smirking proudly at the last bit. I burst out laughing.

"Dylan is in the wave pool with some people from school, wow Noah and Alexis" I almost squealed at what Seth was implying. He nodded with a growing smirk taking a handful of chips that where on the table.

"Which one's Alexis?" Noah's mom smiled curiously.

"The annoying loud blonde from camp" Seth replied. I hit him gently on the arm and he pulled away laughing.

"Alexis is really nice, Seth is just jealous" I countered and Seth made a face.

"Am not!" he scoffed and we did the whole 'am not, are too' thing for a bit before he grabbed me around the middle lifting me up.

"That's it you're going down birthday girl!" he threatened running into the wave pool and tossing me into the air. I squealed as the shaky feeling of falling hit my stomach, then I crashed into the water. I came up coughing as I had swallowed a mouthful of water. Swimming over to a laughing Seth I jumped on his back and pushed him under. Before too long we ended up in a massive game of shoulder wars. I was sitting on Seth's shoulders trying to pull Alexis off Noah's. To my right Mom and dad had just successfully knocked Caitlyn off of Nate's shoulders. Alexis reached for my arm lost her balance and tumbled into the water laughing, leaving just two teams in our competition, mom and dad vs. Seth and me. Seth subtly squeezed my right leg, hinting which side to aim for.

"Hi mommy" I smiled sweetly as they approached us.

"Hi baby had a fun day?" she asked playing along; I nodded glancing down at dad just in time to see him wink and duck under the water. He swiftly grabbed Seth's ankle bringing his leg out from under him and sending the two of us into the water. I didn't have time to scream; shutting my eyes tight I pushed away from Seth so I wouldn't hurt him or hold him under. My ears filled with water as it fizzed around me, my toes touched the bottom and kicked up to the surface.

By four thirty most of the guests had gone home and Carl had placed a ban on all rides but the wave pool because he was too tired to chase me around anymore. Those left were gathered in the café area eating icy poles. I let my head fall onto Seth's shoulder as he sat on my left, as it was more comfortable than the wall on my right.

"I think we go home after this" someone said but I wasn't paying much attention I had let my eyelids slide closed.

I opened my eyes when I felt myself shift. Dad had picked me up and was carrying me to the bus.

"I think it's safe to say she had a good birthday" he said quietly to the camera which was next to him. I must have slept the whole way back home because the next thing I remember, dad was shaking me awake.

"We have a rule that Shane wakes her up, neither of them like being woken up when their asleep" Mom was explaining as I slipped back into consciousness.

"Come on Charlie, we're at home" dad shook me again I slowly opened my eyes and rose to my feet.

"You need to go have a shower and get changed, we are going out for dinner" he instructed I completely ignored the camera and stumbled inside and upstairs to my room, despite my nap I felt exhausted, a sentiment that everyone agreed upon as we sat down at the restaurant later that night. I had to nudge Noah twice to keep him from falling asleep in his food. Dylan and Alexis seemed to find everything funny, reaching that point just beyond tiredness and borderline insanity. I stayed quiet picking at my dinner slowly.

I groaned snapping my eyes firmly closed again as I awoke the next day. From the strange angle the sunlight was filtering into my room I knew it was past lunch. It was a little too warm under the covers and I felt squashed. There was a pressure against my ankles and a weight on my stomach. I could smell the familiar scent of Dylan who was asleep pressed up against my right side. My left hand was entwined with Noah's right hand. I slowly opened my eyes again to see his left arm pulling Alexis into him. Raising my head slightly off the pillow I was given an explanation for the weight on my stomach. Seth's feet, he was lying with his head at the other end of the bed, his hands holding my ankles away from his face. I shifted slightly wincing as an aching pain flooded through my body.

"You alright?" Dylan asked his voice husky from sleep yet still expressed his concern. He buried his head in between the pillows and my neck, brushing his lips against my collar bone. I mumbled a yes and shut my eyes preparing to let myself fall back asleep. Just as the dreamy floaty feeling of unconsciousness was about to take over my bedroom door opened.

"Alright time to join the land of the living, everyone up and moving" Caitlyn called loudly snatching up the covers and tossing them to the floor. All five of us teenagers stirred and began sitting up. I heard a few disapproving groans and a couple loud yawns.

"Get off me Seth" I whined tiredly shoving his feet off me. We all detangled ourselves from each other and climbed lazily out of bed.

Walking downstairs was more painful than it should be all my muscles were sore and tight, too many water slides yesterday. Mom was in a far too cheery mood in the kitchen that morning / afternoon.

"This is so exciting, Matt will be coming around at dinner" she gushed referring to our plans for that night. We were going to be looking at photos for the cover of our album. The shoot had taken place around sunset at a near by park a week ago. We were all wearing dressy clothing like we had just been to prom or something, the boys all in black and white tuxes and me in a white puffy dress with silver heels and a corsage. Today was another rather busy day. As well as Matt coming over with the photos, all of the boys were going to a baseball game this afternoon. The boy's mothers were all looking forward to resting at home after the long day yesterday and Caitlyn was spending the afternoon with her parents. That left me Alexis and mom. After getting dressed the three of us piled into mom's car, stopping off for vanilla frappes and cinnamon donuts mom drove to a large brick house. There was a child lock on the front gate and the yard with littered with colourful children's toys.

"Where are we?" I questioned chewing thoughtfully on my straw; I had never been here before. Mom seemed happy I had asked.

"When I moved to LA I found this place, it's a home for teenage mothers, I have been donating part of my record sales here ever since" she smiled I could see the appeal for her, helping people who went through what she did. The front door opened and an older woman opened the door.

"Michelle, what are you doing here?" she exclaimed happily pulling my mother into a hug.

"It's been a while since I last visited; this is my daughter Charlotte and her friend Alexis" mom explained as we entered the home. Almost two hours later I found myself cradling a seven month old baby boy named Luke. Tears welled in my eyes as he slowly drifted off to sleep. He had beautiful big green eyes and soft honey brown locks. I instantly fell in love with this adorable little boy. His mother was sixteen just like me but that isn't what had upset me. This poor, fragile, defenceless little angel had already gone through more operations than anyone should have to go though in their entire life time. Luke was born with a serious heart condition and although his mother assured me he was much better now than he had ever been, the tube running across his cheek and up his little nose was a clear reminder. As where the big scars on his tiny chest, a tear trailed down my cheek and I returned Luke to his mother. Excusing my self and moving to sit on the front step outside, remaining there until Alexis and mom were done. I was quiet the whole way home while Alexis kept up a constant chatter about this cute 18 month old girl she had been playing with.

"Everything alright darling?" mom asked quickly glancing at me through the rear-view mirror.

"I wanna help, is there some way I can help kids like Luke mommy?" I asked leaning forward. Mom smiled at me through the mirror.

"How about we look into it when we get home" she suggested making me feel a little better.

When the boys arrived home that evening Mom Alexis and I were sitting in the living room, wearing our bathrobes and a creamy green paste covering our faces. We were painting each others toenails and munching on buttery popcorn. Taking one look at us the boys began to laugh. Dad made us freeze while he ran upstairs to get mom's camera and took a picture. Mom wrapped her arm around me and I stuck out my tongue pulling a face at him.

"Pizza!" Caitlyn called the last one to arrive home carrying several pizza boxes. After cleaning our faces, Matt Elliott one of the people involved in our label arrived and we all ate dinner. It didn't take us long to agree on a photo for the album cover. We selected a black and white shot of all four of us sitting on a wobbly bridge connecting two platforms on the play equipment. It was a really nice photo. Another black and white one of the three boys hanging upside down on the monkey bars bearing cheeky wild grins was chosen for the back cover where the tracks are listed. Once that was done mom brought up what we had done that afternoon and how I wanted to help children like Luke. Nate, Matt and Caitlyn were soon in an animated discussion about charities. Once again another day came to an end. It had been probably one of the biggest weekends of my life. This has been the biggest year of my life. Being sixteen does not feel all that different to being fifteen, but if this year is anything like last year it's going to be amazing and confusing and filled with drama. The count down to the next big phase of my life is coming to an end, in just six sleeps we will be heading off on tour. If this weekend is anything to go by, I am never going to forget being sixteen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Four**

**AN: Hey All  
Thank you as always to though who read, reviewed, added or favourited this story.  
I have been thinking about writting a before story, Mitchie's Story about her life as around the time charlie came to be, but I am not sure so let me know what you think. I will still finish this one.  
anyway... enjoy this chapter  
Princess Kay**

Final preparations for tour are well and truly underway with just five sleeps till the tour begins. This morning our in-ear monitors arrived. Nate and Caitlyn decided we should test them out straight away, taking us up to the music room for a practise session.

"They feel a little uncomfortable at first but you get used to them" Nate assured me as he expertly wound the wire around my ear and inserted the pink ear piece. He dropped the other end of the wire down the back of my shirt, pulling it out from the bottom and connecting it all up.

"You should be able to hear some static" Caitlyn called over while she was placing a red ear piece in Dylan's ear. We had each picked a different colour so we would never accidently get them mixed up. Nate, Jason and dad already had green, black and blue ones respectively. Seth had chosen orange and Noah got purple.

"I hear it" Noah said rather proudly when his was in. we picked up our instruments and rehearsed for about an hour, adjusting to using the in-ears, which feed us each a different mix of live and recorded music helping us to keep in perfect time with each other.

"Caitlyn can you check this I don't think it is sitting right" I complained after it had fallen out of my ear for the second time, putting down my guitar and walking over to her. She pulled it out and fiddled with it before putting it back into my ear.

"Kids, school!" Ann hollered up the stairs bring us all down from an excited tour high. The boys packed up and grudgingly marched down stairs while Caitlyn continued to fix my in-ears.

"Does that feel better?" she asked once she was done. I nodded thanking her and packed up my stuff. I walked over to the piano where I had left my guitar case, just as I zipped it up I felt something snatch at my ankle and firmly grasp it. I shrieked so loud out of fright, that everyone came bolting upstairs. I was still screaming when they arrived I had jerked away and backed up to the far corner of the room. Seeing Seth crawl out from under the piano laughing so hard he couldn't stand up, shut me up very quickly.

"Seth, you're an idiot! You gave me a heart attack!" I cried angrily, folding my arms defensively across my chest.

"That… was so … funny" he choked out still laughing so hard, tears now welled in his eyes. I glared at him clenching my hands into fists, growing increasingly mad.

"Sure hilarious, you just watch Seth one day I'll get you back and then we will see who's laughing!" I threatened storming out of the room.

That afternoon I left for my grandparent's house, I was spending the night with dad's parents. While my parents, aunt and uncles attended an award show, dad thought it might be a good opportunity for me to bond with them.

"Bye mom, bye dad, have a good night!" I called grabbing my duffle bag from next to me on the backseat and knocking on the Gray's front door. Dad honked the car horn and mom waved as they drove off. Donna Gray my grandmother opened the door with a big grin on her face she was clearly excited to have me come and stay.

"Ah you're here, come on in!" she gushed pulling me into a tight embrace. I smiled kindly hugging her back. My grandfather Craig was not far behind her seeming just as excited as she did.

"Come on princess, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping" he said taking my bag and placing his arm across my shoulders. He led me down the hall passed two bedroom doors labelled with my uncles names then opened one labelled Shane. I smiled staring carefully around the room. There was a double bed covered in simple blue sheets, the walls were painted a grey-blue colour and decorated with several posters of musical legends. Grandad placed my bag on the bed, while I moved around the room exploring the clues it offered into my father's teenage years. There were a bunch of photo frames on his dresser, photo's of dad with his brothers, of people from camp rock. Then in a beautiful blue glass frame was a photo of mom and dad. The exact one I recall from mom's photo album. Tacked to the wall above the dresser I noticed a magazine clipping which had been roughly cut out and pasted onto a piece of card. The clipping was an advertisement for Connect Three's first album. Under the clipping Nate's neat handwriting read out. 'I told you we would make it one day! More proof I'm always right!' next to that clipping was another, it was a magazine article talking about how if Shane Gray didn't smarten up Connect Three would be dropped from their record label. Along with it was dad's writing 'Keeping up an image is hard work'.

"We haven't changed the boys rooms since the moved out, in case they ever wanted to come back…take a break from being big rock stars and be my boys again" I span around startled to see my grandmother in the door way. It was her who had spoken; clearly I had been too distracted to notice my grandfather leave the room. I moved over towards my bag and sat down on the bed feeling a little awkward. I glanced down at my feet as I shuffled them against the soft grey carpet.

"It's weird seeing their rooms, exactly the way they were when they were teenagers; mom's is still the same too. It's almost like going back in time to before I was born" I rambled trying to break the silence.

"It's also really funny, I am definitely going to have to tease him about the TJ Tyler poster" She smiled at me as I pointed it out on the wall.

"Would you like to see the other boy's rooms?" she offered raising her eyebrow at me. I nodded, jumping up from the bed with a giggle and following her to the other boy's rooms. Jason's was very much like his room at home, a mess of colours and random bits and pieces. I did however take a mental note to ask him about the photo on his night stand. It was of him as a teenager and a beautiful girl. She had dark hair and eyes, and was a fair bit shorter than him. They were both smiling very happily at the camera the girls arms wrapped firming around Jason's middle. Normally I wouldn't have thought twice about the picture except it was the only photo Jason had in his room. Nate's room was rather neat, and pretty much entirely green, that's probably what made the acoustic guitar resting in the corner stand out. I wandered over to it and brushed my fingers across the stings on the neck of the guitar. It was a nice one; I wonder why Nate left it here? I thought as I glanced around at the book case of trophies against the opposite wall.

"Nate is very ambitious and competitive" my grandmother smiled watching me watch the trophies. I rubbed my thumb across the guitar strings again; I had left mine at home.

"Do you think he would mind if I played it?" I asked nodding my head towards the guitar. She shook her head telling me to go for it. I picked it up carefully examining it as I sat down on his bed. I picked at the strings ensuring it was in tune before playing a random rhythm that had popped into my head.

"Is that one of your bands songs?" my grandfather asked from the door. I blushed slightly I hadn't realised they were both watching me.

"No, I sort of just made it up then" I confessed, he nodded a slight smile pulling at his lips

"Do you play other instruments?" I shrugged.

"I sing and play piano, but only a little bit, it's mainly just guitar" I informed him, making it clear that while I could do other things I didn't want to because I loved playing guitar. He smiled proudly at me.

"She looks like Shane, has a natural talent like Nate and loves guitar as much as Jason" he summed up with a chuckle and my grandmother seemed to agree.

Later that night I was sitting cross legged on my dad's bed watching the award show on television, my grandmother was gently braiding my hair into two neat braids. Grandad Craig walked in carrying two bowls of ice cream. I grinned a thankyou to him as he handed me one.

"It's so nice to be able to so someone's hair like this, with three boys I never got the chance too as a mother" Donna said sadly as she wrapped a hair elastic around one of the braids.

"You can do mine whenever you want, it looks amazing" I told her with a mouthful of ice cream. To my right my grandfather had eaten half of his bowl already.

"So you're where dad gets his love of ice cream from" I accused with a giggle.

"Guilty" he chuckled shoving the spoon into his mouth.

"A love he has passed on to his daughter it seems" my grandmother teased seeing I was steadily working my way through my bowl too.

"Oh there they are!" I called excitedly as the camera showed a shot of my family sitting around a big round table with several other familiar faces, from their record label. The camera then showed glimpses of the other nominees before returning to the stage where to artists were preparing to announce the winner. I cross my fingers for good luck and bit down on my bottom lip anxiously.

"And the winner is … Connect Three!" I let out a little squeal and watched as my dad and uncles made their way towards the stage. Nate took the microphone thanking everyone from their label individually, and then thanking their parents and partners, just as he was about to finish his speech dad leant into the microphone.

"Special thanks to my daughter Charlotte, I love you" he rushed as they headed off stage.

"Aww I got a thank you too" I cried feeling really special that dad had included me in the speech. Just then my phone began to ring I reached across the bed and snatched it up.

"Hello!" I said brightly bringing the phone to my ear.

"Hey Charlie, I just wanted to say goodnight" Dylan greeted from the other end. My smile grew a little wider. He was so sweet calling to say goodnight to me.

"Goodnight" I told him shifting to lie down on my stomach.

"Goodnight…" his tone of voice at the end of his goodnight, led me to believe he had more to tell me. I didn't say anything waiting for him to go on.

"I… I love you Charlie" he whispered. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened. He hadn't said that before, yeah he had ended text messages to me before with love Dylan, but this was very different than that. I realise I had to say something soon or else he would think I didn't love him back.

"I love you too" I whispered softly realising that I truly meant it, I really loved Dylan.

"See you tomorrow" he finished his voice still quiet.

"Bye" I replied hanging up. I stared down at my phone in my hand for a few minutes, thinking over the short conversation. I was trying to work out what had happened to make him tell me that he loved me.

"Time for bed?" my grandmother suggested switching off the television. I nodded my head and moved up towards the pillows pulling the blankets over me. I have a feeling she had heard enough of the conversation to work out what had happened but wasn't saying anything, something I was thankful for.

When I arrived home the next day all I wanted to do was go up to the music room and write a song to the tune I had made up the day before. I already had a couple lines and was eager to put it together. It had been a while since I had written a song. Before I even made it upstairs I was stopped by mom and dad who wanted to know how my stay at the Gray's had gone. After explaining that in a hurry, I attempted to go upstairs only to be headed off by Caitlyn. She called the boys down stairs and gathered us around the kitchen table. Sitting in the middle was a large cardboard box.

"In here is the first official merchandise for the tour" she said excitedly reaching into the box and pulling out five black baseball caps with the bands logo on them. After placing one on her own head she passed them around. Next she removed five black hooded sweatshirts from the box, all with the same logo on the front along with the tour dates.

"These ones are named" she warned as we passed them out checking the back for names. The first one I picked up was conveniently mine on the back in big white block lettering read 'Charlie Band Guitarist' it was very cool. The boys all seemed to agree, commenting on how awesome it was to see our bands name all over everything. The last thing to be removed from the box was six plastic bags which had been taped closed. Reading the labels on the front she handed them out to each of us, Seth's mother and took one for herself. Inside each was three different coloured T-shirts with the band logo and our name and title on the back as well as a lanyard and id tag.

"Please do not loose these" Caitlyn begged holding her tag up. The lanyards were black and decorated with the band logo but the tags weren't they had the Connect Three logo. Ann Seth's mom began laughing when she read the title on the back of her shirts 'Ann band mom'.

"That's cute Caitlyn, thank you" she chuckled refolding the one in her hands. I quickly gathered up all my stuff and spun around hoping to make a break for the music room while they were all busy. However it appeared no one wanted me to write this song! Uncle Nate stopped me just as I reached the bottom step.

"Hey Charlie, I have something I wanted to show you" he called me back to the kitchen with everyone else. All the adults were admiring the merchandise now too. "After you mentioned that you wanted to help out a charity for seriously ill children I did some looking into things with Matt and Caitlyn" he started pausing to toss me a plastic bag, which I barely caught.

"It's all organised you are officially an ambassador for the Make-A-wish Foundation" he finished dramatically. In my hands was yet another T-shirt this one was white with the blue Make-A-Wish Foundation logo. Wow, this was perfect, just what I had wanted a chance to help some seriously ill children.

"It's going to be a bit tight because we have to get it done before we leave, but they have asked you to film a clip for their advertising campaign" I was nodding my head before he had even finished the sentence.

"This is amazing, Uncle Nate, when can I do it?" I rushed, leaping forward and hugging him, to show how much I appreciated what he had done.

"I'll take you to the hospital tomorrow" he grinned and I hugged him tighter.

"How did you arrange it all so quickly I only mentioned it on Sunday" I questioned him feeling confused. He wasn't given a chance to answer though because mom cut him off.

"Nate has been an ambassador for a few years now, come on lets get all this stuff upstairs, I happen to know for a fact that none of you have started packing" she teased hinting us all that it should be started at least, right this minute.

"I want you down here ready to start your school work in an hour" Ann added as we all groaned and marched upstairs. Great! I sighed by the time I had began packing and done my school work I was never going to get time to write my song!

I eventually got the chance after dinner that night Seth and I were drying the dishes. A week ago Mom had insisted we all take on a household chore as a way of keeping us grounded, or so she claimed.

"Seth, so you think you could help me with something when we are done here?" I asked stacking a now dry plate in the cupboard. He nodded grabbing a new glass from beside the sink and began to dry it. Once we were done I took Seth's hand and dragged him upstairs to the music room. To ensure everyone else stayed out I grabbed my guitar and sat down on the floor with my back pressed against the door.

"Ok so have been writing a song, well trying to…" I trailed off. Seth picked up a set of drum sticks and pointed them at me showing he understood what I wanted. He moved over to the drums and waited for me to play the tune I had made up. He kept the beat light and simple.

_It's a wonderful crazy_

_It's a beautiful out of control_

_Kinda scary amazing_

_But I don't really mind at all_

_It's like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying_

_Hanging on and letting on_

_Cause my life's so wonderful crazy, crazy _

"That's the chorus yeah?" Seth asked when I was finished singing.

"Yeah, I've got more, might sound better with the electric guitar though" I replied jumping up to switch guitars. I moved to sit on a stool in front of the drum kit, directly opposite Seth and we continued to work on my song. At some point Noah silently snuck in and took over the guitar leaving me to focus on the singing.

_Welcome to a new day_

_Don't know what's on the way_

_But whatever it is I'll be ready_

_On your mark, get set go_

_Here's the show and the road_

_But with you it's a load I can carry _I smiled at Seth in front of me taking in a quick breath and glancing down at my scribbled lyrics.

_And each breath I will take it_

_Every moment gonna make it_

_It's a wonderful crazy _reaching the chorus my voice carried around the room.

_It's a beautiful out of control_

_Kinda scary amazing_

_But I don't really mind at all_

_Like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying_

_Hanging on and letting go_

_Cause my life's so wonderful crazy, crazy, crazy _I was tapping my hand against my thigh counting out the beat.

_Some days get intense_

_And I break down my defence _

_But I'm here and I'm not giving up_

_Gonna take in the sights_

_On the ride of my life_

_Living just to survive's not enough_

_So much love to discover_

_I don't need any other_ I shook my head and closed my eyes for that line.

_It's a wonderful crazy_

_It's a beautiful out of control_

_Kinda scary amazing_

_But I don't really _mind_ at all_

_Like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying_

_Hanging on and letting go _Noah nodded at someone behind me causing me to stand and turn around to face our audience.

_Cause my life's so wonderful crazy _

_And I'm reeling but embracing that feeling_

_Of the strange and the new_

_Of the love I found in you_

_It's a wonderful crazy _Seth stopped pausing for a couple lines

_It's a beautiful out of control_

_Kinda scary amazing, _then picking up the drums again.

_But I don't really mind at all_

_Like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying_

_Hanging on and letting go_

_Cause my life's so wonderful _

I smiled at my family, Dylan and the boy's mom's who had all come to see what we were up to.

_It's a wonderful crazy_

_It's a beautiful out of control_

_Kinda scary amazing_

_But I don't really mind at all_

_Like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying_

_Hanging on and letting go_

_Cause my life's so wonderful crazy _

_Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy _

I gave a cheeky bow as we received a round of applause, my cheeks turning slightly pink.

"Alright it's almost midnight, bedtime" Ann said to her son who groan in annoyance and gave a final three second drum solo before admitting defeat under his mothers stare and saying goodnight. Noah and Dylan were sent to bed too. Dylan pausing to give me a quick kiss on my cheek first. I said good night to my family quickly and hurried to my room. I was ecstatic about finishing my song.

"Just came in to say goodnight" Dad called opening my bedroom door; I was already in my pyjamas and was climbing into bed. He kissed my forehead and left the room, while mom took a seat on the bed next to me.

"I liked your song, what's it about?" I shrugged, giving her a confused look, it was a silly question she had heard the song she should know what it was about.

"Life" I responded when it looked like she wasn't going to give in.

"Not a boy?" she pushed a small smirk forming on her lips. I frowned what was she getting at? Reading my mind she went on.

"Be careful sweetheart I don't want you to get hurt, Dylan is a nice boy but just be careful, what happens between the two of you could seriously affect the whole band" she cautioned brushing a strand of hair away from my face.

"We both understand that mom" I assured her; she nodded acceptingly and sighed before standing to leave. Just as she arrived at my bedroom door she paused.

"Oh and would you tell Dylan to be quieter when he sneaks in here tonight, I have no control over your father if he finds out" she teased causing my eyes to widen and my cheeks to burn red. Busted! I thought as she shut the bedroom door.

**The song is Wonderful Crazy by Katelyn Tarver. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Five**

**AN: Hey All  
Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter.  
I am sorry for not getting this up sooner for some  
reason I thought I had already posted it.  
I hope to have chapter six up before christmas.  
enjoy this chapter  
Princess Kay  
**

It's Thursday in just two days we leave for tour which is very exciting but for someone like Uncle Nate who has done a ton of tours before it can't be that exciting. Which is what lead me to believe something else was up when he came downstairs this morning with a huge grin on his face, for anyone who doesn't know my uncle Nate you would know he isn't much of a smiler, you either have to do something pretty funny, or you have to be Caitlyn to get him to really smile. I was leaning against the kitchen counter munching on a bowl of sugar coated cereal.

"Good morning Charlie, you're up early" he said his tone light and cheerful. I sent him a suspicious look, searching my brain for some sort of solution to this riddle. He poured his own bowl of cereal and we began a silently agreed staring match from across the counter. He would stick a spoonful in his mouth and I would copy neither of us breaking eye contact. Until Dylan entered the room, Nate turned around and left.

"Everything alright?" Dylan asked standing in front of me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

"He is acting weird, and I am going to find out why" I said determinedly, Dylan laughed at my expression and kissed the tip of my nose, instantly distracting me. I brought our mouths together biting down gently on his bottom lip. He applied pressure against the small of my back with his fingertips encouraging me to move closer. I released his bottom lip and allowed his tongue entrance to my mouth. My hands slid up his arms and linked behind his neck. I could taste his sweet peppermint toothpaste and taking a deep breath through my nose I could smell his familiar relaxing scent. The sound of footsteps on the stairs alerted us the presence of others and we broke apart.

"Good morning" mom smiled at us, I smiled back returning the greeting and slipped upstairs to take a shower. Passing Uncle Nate and Aunt Caitlyn's bedroom I could hear them inside talking.

"You need to play it cool until we talk to our parents they will be upset if we don't tell them first" Caitlyn spoke the command in a light happy voice, something was definitely up!

"Can we call them now?" Nate chuckled playfully causing my eyes to widen, had aliens taken over my aunt and uncle last night?

"What are you doing?" Seth asked from behind me, I clamped a hand down hard against his mouth and bit back a scream of surprise. I pointed towards the door than placed my finger across my lips gesturing for him to be quiet. I waited until he nodded before removing my hand.

"So what are you up to?" he whispered and I rolled my eyes. A noise on the other side of the door caused me to panic; I pushed Seth across the hall into the boy's bedroom, slamming the door closed behind me.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Seth said stumbling into the room and almost tripping over.

"They are acting weird, something is up and I am going to find out what it is" I proclaimed, Seth smirked at me.

"Asking is too easy?" he chuckled teasingly. I playfully slapped him in retaliation when the door behind us opened. I turned around and gave Uncle Nate my best impression of an innocent smile.

"Charlie, you know the rules this is the boys room" he said authoritively.

"Yeah I was just leaving" I offered him a smile and attempted to side step him out into the hallway.

"Oh and Charlie, eavesdropping is very rude" he added as I made my escape. Drat! Busted! I didn't give up though. The rest of the day went on like normal because Nate and Caitlyn went out to lunch. When they arrived home at three, we had finished our school and were almost all packed for the tour.

"You're in a good mood" mom giggled to Caitlyn as she and Nate joined everyone else in the living room, proof that I wasn't the only one to notice their weird behaviour. Caitlyn nodded eagerly.

"I am and I will tell you why in just a minute, first we need to talk to everyone" she explained gripping Nate's hand in between both of her own as they stood in front of the group.

"We have been to visit Matt Elliot to arrange for me to temporarily take over Caitlyn's job as band manager" Nate announced to the room, whilst directing his statement to me and the boys.

"What, why?" Noah frowned asking what we were all thinking; Caitlyn was a good band manager, why hadn't she spoken to us before they arranged this?

"It's only temporary, just for the second half of the tour and a few months afterwards, and I chose Nate so that I can tell him what to do, it will be like I never left" Caitlyn was rambling trying to assure us that she had made the right decision. I shifted in my seat.

"We have no problem with Nate being our temporary manager; the question is why do we need a temporary manager?" I interrupted trying to make her get to the point. Her grin widened a little and she shared a glance with Nate. It appeared that he was giving her permission to answer my question.

"Because we are going to have a baby" she giggled. My eyes widen and I let out a squeal running forward to embrace them both.

"That is so cool!" I hugged them. Everyone seemed just as happy about the news and with in minutes it was decided we were having a small celebration that night. Caitlyn and Nate were clearly thrilled and looking forward to the arrival of their first child in about six month's time. The Gray family is getting just a little bit bigger. By five everyone currently living at our place, plus both Caitlyn and Nate's parents were at a local park. Salads were laid out across picnic tables and hamburgers and hotdogs were grilling. Dylan and I were playing a modified game of football against Noah and Seth. Everyone was enjoying themselves, in the last few rays of sunshine the day had to offer. There were a couple other people in the park mostly joggers but they left us alone. Surprisingly the few cameras that had found our spontaneous gathering kept their distance, snapping their shots then taking off.

"Over here!" I cried to Dylan who had just stolen the ball from Seth. I jumped up and down waving my arms around to attract his attention. Dylan winked tossing the ball high into the air sending it sailing across our invisible football field. I took a moment to watch his muscles flex as he jumped up to avoid Seth before releasing the ball. I raced over the grass trying to meet the ball; just as my fingertips grasped it a hand intercepted knocking it away. A second arm wrapped around my waist shoving me sideways down to the soft grass, I screamed as the person belonging to the arm landed on top of me.

"Boys No tackling! The last thing we need is broken bones the day before tour" Dylan's mother scolded, yelling from her place over at the picnic tables. Noah aka my attacker stood up and offered me a hand up. I accepted then chose to sulk taking my time to brush off the loose grass that was stuck to my clothing. I pushed him hard in the chest and headed towards the adults.

"Aw come here" Dylan called to me holding out his arms for a hug. I slowly walked over to him still being a 'sooky girl' as Seth kindly pointed out. I hugged him tightly.

"At least one of you boys loves me!" I shouted at the others twisting my neck to stick my tongue out at them. Dylan kissed the top of my head and rubbed my back. I rested my head against his chest but quickly pulled away.

"You're all sweaty" I whined stepping back from him. Dylan just laughed and spun me around pulling my back against his chest and pressing his lips against my cheek.

The next day was very busy, after school we had to finish packing everything because we would be leaving before sunrise on Saturday. Dad and I were almost finished packing my stuff when mom came into my room Caitlyn trailing behind the two discussing pregnancy issues.

"No I have hardly been sick at all" Caitlyn was responding to something mom had said. Mom dropped a plastic tub onto my bed and removed its lid.

"You're really lucky, I was shocking with Charlie, Sierra thought I had an eating disorder at first I was sick that often" dad frowned clearly not wanting to hear about mom suffering while he had no idea what so ever. I jumped up onto my bed sitting in front of my mother.

"Do you still have Aunt Sierra's number I haven't spoken to her since before Christmas" I exclaimed dramatically, bouncing lightly on the mattress. Mom nodded and began filling the plastic tub with various items.

"Who's Sierra?" dad asked handing mom my ipod and phone chargers.

"My godmother, can I call her?" I rushed excitedly Sierra had been mom's best friend in high school; she used to babysit me all the time and take me out for shopping trips.

"Godmother, Isn't that something I should know about?" Dad asked an angry undertone to his voice. Mom sighed.

"Calm down Shane, to be honest I forgot, it was never really an official thing, Sierra was my best friend from school, she was good friend to me while I was pregnant and when Charlie was little, I barely talk to her anymore" Mom shrugged it off letting dad know she thought his behaviour was irrational. Before they could start fighting there was a hissing noise from outside my bedroom door.

"What on earth is that?" mom asked as we all turned our attention to the door. I grinned and placed a finger to my lips, signalling they should be quiet. I moved over to the door and tapped my knuckles against the doorframe twice. In reply the person on the other side of the door whistled. Dad, mom and Caitlyn all shared bewildered looks. I waved my hand indicating that Caitlyn should move to the side. I stood with my back pressed against the wall next to my door, reaching across I twisted the handle and threw the door open making sure to stand clear. As Uncle Jason came tearing into the room on a small silver scooter carrying a big bag in one hand.

"Dun-dun-da-da-ah!" he cried gleefully. Circling my room and coming to a stop right in front of me.

"Hi Jase" I giggle throwing my arms around him. Jason jumped off his scooter leaning it against my dresser and removed a shiny red bicycle helmet from his head. Dad was shaking his head at his older brother like he was trying to work out how exactly Jason got to be the older brother, something I know Nate questions every day.

Mom and Caitlyn were smiling at the playful childlike adult. Not that I would ever tell uncle Nate because he might get upset but uncle Jason would have to be my favourite uncle hands down. He is fun and silly and doesn't care what people think about him, he is also an amazing guitarist.

"I have someone's birthday present!" he sung happily waving the bag in front of me.

"I know it's late but I had to check with mom and dad first to make sure Shane and Mitchie wouldn't be mad" he explained to me. I nodded.

"That sounds very smart" I informed him. Ignoring my dad's 'oh no!' groan. Jason reached into the bag and pulled out a sparkly purple bicycle helmet.

"This was mom's suggestion" he said seriously placing the helmet on my head. I buckled it up and showed him that it fitted perfectly. He then placed the bag on the floor and pulled out a large rectangle cardboard box. I tried not to laugh when I saw the picture on the box. Clearly Jason had decided he should test out my birthday present by getting one for himself because the picture was of the exact same scooter that Jason had ridden into my bedroom.

"That's awesome Uncle Jason, we can race them!" I told him as he opened the box and set up my scooter.

"I haven't shown you the best bit yet" he exclaimed reaching into the bag one last time and pulling out a big bucket of jelly beans. Seeing Jason's excited face sent Caitlyn and dad into hysterics, both of them desperately trying to hide their laugher.

"Now don't you too eat all of those at once, you will get a stomach ache" mom warned.

"Race you to Uncle Nate" I called setting up the challenge and speeding out of the room on my scooter.

"Wahoo!" I heard Uncle Jason cry from behind me and we raced sown the hall and into Nate and Caitlyn's bedroom.

The scooter provided a few hours of entertainment before mom said enough was enough and ordered that the scooters get packed or they weren't going on tour. By bedtime I had one large suitcase filled with clothing, shoes and bathroom stuff. A plastic tub filled with a few novels, a stack of DVD's, my ipod, some notebooks, my school stuff, my jelly beans, a collection of sharpies and ball point pens and a video camera. And finally my two guitars complete with a large collection of spare guitar picks and strings. It was hard to sleep that night Noah, Dylan, Seth and I were far too excited and kept up a game of room swaps for several hours. I would sneak into their room then decide it was time to go to sleep, only to have them sneak into my room a few minutes later and vice versa. I eventually fell asleep in Noah's bed with my own sheets and pillows. I don't know exactly where the others slept. I was awoken very early the next morning by my dad.

"Come on Charlie, don't you want some breakfast before we go?" I shook my head and snuggled up with my covers.

"Alright I guess you can eat later on the bus, up you get" he sighed lifting my up sheets and all. I gripped my pillows and let him carry me to the car. I was only slightly more awake when we arrived at the appointed meeting point. There were several tour buses waiting for us and several people for us to meet and shake hands with. I stayed by my dads side using him to keep my tired body upright. It was cool outside as the sun had only just begun to rise, wearing pyjama shorts and my band sweatshirt; I was feeling a little cold. By the time we had met everyone the buses were loaded and goodbyes were said. I hugged mom tightly.

"I promise to call everyday, I love you" I mumbled blinking back tears. Looking in her eyes I could see she was close to tears too.

"You better, I love you too Charlie" she gave me one last squeeze before kissing dad goodbye.

"Look after her, Shane" Mom said sadly waving goodbye as we boarded the bus. With in fifteen minutes of leaving we had sorted out sleep arrangements and all nine of us were lying in our bunks falling back asleep. The tour bus was really cool, when you walked in the door the driver was to your right, then to your left was a small kitchen and lounge area, just behind that was the incredibly small bathroom and a curtain which lead to the sleeping area. Twelve bunks in total stack three high on each side. Each bunk had a curtain for privacy, light and its own pull down plasma television and DVD player. Walking through the sleeping area you cam to the back of the bus where there was a large couch and television with the Xbox already set up.

By ten that morning we had arrived at our first location everyone was awake dressed and snacking on pop tarts. Ann had us four teenagers set up at the table doing our days school work, Dad and Jason were playing on the Xbox in the back of the bus while Caitlyn and Nate watched. I sighed, it was our first day on tour we should be having fun or practising for our first concert that night, not doing school work.

"Enough day dreaming Charlie, come on you only have two weeks worth of school work to do then your on summer break" Ann attempted to entice me into doing my work. I wasn't the only one who was distracted, with our first performance just hours away we were all too excited.

By two in the afternoon the amazing crew had set up the stage and we had relocated to our dressing rooms. Connect Three were just about ready for their sound check, after which they would attend a meet and greet with their fans before dinner and getting ready for the first concert. Our band would run our sound checks when Connect Three was finished, then go straight to dinner and concert prep. We went on stage at seven and finished around eight, when Connect Three went on, at around nine thirty, ten the concert would end and hopefully by about midnight or one in the morning we would be back on the road. Currently Noah, Dylan and Seth were playing Xbox in our dressing room, while Jason and I were playing 'go fish' and making a start on my jelly beans. In Connect Three's dressing room Dad was taking a nap and Nate and Caitlyn were watching a movie. I went and sat in the audience next to Caitlyn while Connect Three ran through their sound check. They were doing great, performing each song as if they were in front of thousands and not just two. But messing around like teenagers in between songs, Jason had discovered a hackie sack in his guitar case. When it got to our turn we were a mess! I was nervous and Noah was off beat. We only did three songs before Caitlyn was up on stage with us. She was yelling but we all knew it was only because she was nervous for us.

"And that is why we have sound check" Caitlyn called out sarcastically when it turned out one of the audio technicians hadn't set up Noah's in-ears right. In the end Ann insisted we cut our sound check short or Nate would be on to us for stressing out Caitlyn. Some how she managed to usher Caitlyn back to the dressing room. With the boys straight back on the Xbox I decided to take my scooter and go exploring as a way of entertaining myself. It wasn't long before I ran into dad and my uncles.

"Hey Charlie!" Jason called out like he hadn't seen me in weeks. Several fans that were lined up waiting to see them waved to me and began to call out my name. I waved back and stood near one of Connect Three's PR reps while she organised the whole event.

"Shouldn't you be at sound check?" Nate and dad questioned at the same time.

"We had to stop before Caitlyn turned into a fire breathing dragon and strangled someone" I teased, dad tried not to smirk at my comment but Jason looked a little confused, as if he was trying to picture a dragon on stage.

"What happened?" Nate looked worried, but paused to smile and take a photo with some fans.

"We sounded awful" I confessed.

"Why don't you go and get some dinner" the PR rep suggested clearly thinking I was a nuisance. I turned to dad hoping he would correct her, but he hadn't heard. Nate frowned at her though.

"Charlie, go eat and I'll come help you warm up later, it's most likely just nerves" he reassured as Carl one of our bodyguards came over and placed a hand on my shoulder.


	6. Chapter 6

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Six**

**AN: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!  
Hey everyone, right now in Victoria, Australia it is just seven and a half hours till Midnight and Christmas!  
I am looking forward to celebrating the day with my family, in traditional Aussie style with a seafood barbeque  
and a game of backyard cricket against the cousins. What are your plans this christmas?  
My Christmas present to all of you amazing readers and reviewers is this chapter, so enjoy!!!  
I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!!!!  
Princess Kay : ) **

Dinner on tour is an interesting event. In total there are about 50 crew members and personnel on tour with us, all who need to eat. It's like being in school, you get a tray pick what you want to eat then find a table. Today's menu for me at least is spaghetti although I really am in no mood to eat. By the time dad and that arrived I had cut up each noodle into 1 inch pieces. Noah seemed to have an appetite for all of us eating two helpings, at record speed. Dylan managed about half of his while Seth appeared content with stirring his around and swallowing a forkful when ever he caught his mother's gaze. We received several well wishes for a good show as people passed by our table. Soon enough I was in our dressing room wearing my stage outfit. A pair of dark blue demin shorts, a purple t-shirt and a black unbuttoned vest. My hair was left loose and naturally parted to the side, a pair of purple converse completing my stage look. Just twenty minutes and counting until we hit the stage, my heart was racing and my hands shaking. Noah and I were randomly strumming cords on our acoustic guitars to warm up when everyone who would be on stage that night plus Caitlyn entered the room. Dad was on his phone.

"Hey Mitchie, would you please have a word with your daughter, I have been trying to get her to stop freaking out all afternoon" he complained to mom then handed the phone to me.

"Charlie sweetheart, you are going to do amazing tonight just go on stage like it is a practise and have fun" mom told me, the sound of her voice started to calm down my nerves.

"Thanks mom" I whispered.

"Alright baby I love you, tell everyone to have a good show and I will call you later, bye" she ended the call quickly obviously knowing I didn't have long to talk. I handed the phone back to dad and offered him a weak smile.

"Mom says to have a good show" he nodded and gave me a one armed hug, my parent's confidence in me settling most of the angry butterflies in my stomach. Nate had started a bunch of vocal warm ups with all those who would be singing tonight and after ending the phone call dad and I joined in. Singing random la and yeah's to Jason's made up guitar tune, and then we found ourselves singing Amazing Grace.

"Alright ten minutes till show time!" a stage manager yelled through the door. We all formed a huddle and Nate lead the group in a prayer for a good show that night. The four of us received quick encouraging hugs and pats on the back before we were hurried quietly to side stage and fitted with our in-ears and shirt microphones. All the wires were hidden down the back of our shirts and connected to transmitters which were clipped onto the waist at the back of our pants. It was dark side stage as the four of us shared a group hug before Dylan and I moved to one side of the stage, while Noah and Seth moved to the other. The static in my ears was drowned out as we got closer. Hearing the crowd cheering from just behind where we were standing was giving me goose bumps. I took a deep shaky breath as a stage hand helped me to pull my guitar over my shoulder with out messing up any of the wires. There were wires everywhere as well as the ones we were wearing for our in-ears and microphones there were also, standing mics on stage and all the speakers, lights and amps. We had already been warned during sound check to be mindful of all the taped down cables on stage so we didn't trip or pull anything out. Wireless transmitter packs had been connected to our Guitars during sound check, so that we could move freely around the stage with out worrying about being plugged into the amps, we were all set to perform. The next thing I knew I was walking out on to the stage in the dark along with Dylan and two of our three men back up band. We started with our first ever song 'Let's make this last forever' the lighting had been organised so that as each instrument was listed by Dylan that area of the stage would light up. As soon as the lights above me came to life I looked out at the excited audience in front of me. They were all full of energy, dancing around, screaming and clapping. The band instantly fed off their enthusiasm and gave 110% back at them. It was very different to when we had preformed the song eleven months ago at camp rock. For one we had a back up band which meant Noah could play rhythm guitar instead of bass, giving the song a whole different dynamic. We also had a live keyboard player and much better performance equipment. We were more prepared with a professionally choreographed routine and hours of rehearsals. The several thousand people gathered around the stage helped too! After our first song Dylan introduced the Band again and each member by name. Our stunts ran smoothly and my duet with Dylan was much stronger thanks to Nate's vocal training. Although thoroughly sweaty and a little tired I was sad when it came time to play our last song.

_You spin around like a broken record  
it plays your name every time the needle skips  
it's been that way since the last December  
I can't live like this anymore_

_You're stuck inside every conversation  
yes I know that you're really good and gone  
but I'm a slave to this obsession  
how can I move on  
you're in my thoughts, in my head, in my heart, in my dreams  
and I wish you would stop haunting me  
_

Seeing all those people out in the audience gave me a thill no rollercoaster could ever top.

_  
get out get out  
I can't take it no more  
breathe in breathe out  
cause I die a little every time I think about you  
get out get out  
cause I'm going crazy  
I scream and shout  
I try everything but you're still here and I can't stop missing you_

I waved smiling as a camera guy swept passed me across the front of the stage projecting my image into a large screen behind the stage to ensure everyone could see us. 

ooh yeah  
the way I feel every time you're with me  
how you say it all without a word  
I keep hearing time heals everything so tell me why does it still hurt  
like you only just told me goodbye and I can't get you out of my mind

get out get out  
I can't take it no more  
breathe in breathe out  
cause I die a little every time I think about you  
get out get out  
cause I'm going crazy  
I scream and shout  
I try everything but you're still here and I can't stop missing you

I hate to love you  
I hate to let you go  
you're good at leaving  
but I'm no good alone

I was bouncing up and down as I played, nodding my head along with the beat. Getting to do this just about every night for the next few months was going to be amazing, I have no idea what I was nervous about anymore.

get out get out  
I can't take it no more  
breathe in breathe out  
cause I die a little every time i think about you  
get out get out  
cause I'm going crazy  
I scream and shout  
I try everything but you're still here and I can't stop missing you

get out get out  
breathe in breathe out  
you spin around like a broken record  
it plays your name every time the needle skips skips skips skips skips skips skips skips skips

The audience applauded as we put down our instruments and ran down the catwalk. We took each others hands and gave a bow before we left the stage. We were surrounded pretty quickly by stage hands, removing our Microphones and In-ears. Then we were free to head to our dressing room briefly passing Connect Three as they took to the stage. Our performance had gone off without a hitch. Adrenaline lasted a total of twenty minutes. By the time I had showered and sculled a diet cola. I was feeling exhausted. I collapsed on the couch in our dressing room and shut my eyes listening to Connect Three's songs echoing around the arena. Suddenly I realised I had never actually seen them perform live as a band. Surprisingly it took me only five minutes to convince Caitlyn to let me go and watch.

"Please Cait, only a few songs I have never seen them in concert before" I begged my energy levels quickly rising. She rolled her eyes but nodded immediately arranging for me go and watch. I was passed off from one member of security to another from backstage, around the side and to the front of the stage to meet head of security Randy. It was pretty intense standing in between the stage and a metal barricade which held back the fans in the front row, so that the cameras could move around easier. There really wasn't a lot of space most of the fans were sitting close enough to touch the boys they both reach out there hands, despite the barricade. Nate noticed me first as we were standing on his side of the stage. At first none of the fans close to us noticed I was there all too distracted by the concert. I watched my dad looking so happy on stage and as the song ended I began to cheer just as loud as the audience behind me. Then I heard a girl behind me yell.

"OMG read her shirt, it's Charlie Gray!" I was wearing my black band t-shirt which had my name printed on the back. Randy had clearly heard too because he suggested I go back stage again. I sent him a puppy dog face and promised I would after the next song. As Nate and Dad paused in between songs to take a drink and rehydrate I saw Nate point towards me letting dad know I was there. Dad smiled and gave me a wink as he passed by Nate's side of the stage during the next song. I watched completely mesmerised as they interacted with the crowd. As the song finished Randy handed me a stuffed animal and some flowers that dad had passed down to him, after they were tossed up onto stage before sending me back along the chain of security guarding the stage. Back in the dressing room I spent a good twenty minutes going on and on about how cool it had been seeing Connect Three perform until Noah politely told me to shut up. I was waiting in the corridor when Connect Three came down from the stage.

"You guys were amazing!" I beamed throwing my arms around my dad.

"You guys did great too, we were watching from side stage" dad confessed hugging me back just as tightly. Soon pretty much everyone was crammed into the corridor. Damon our tour director squeezed through the group and handed Jason a two-way radio that just about every backstage crew member was carrying around. This action silenced the group.

"Well done tonight everyone that was a perfect first show!" Jason cried loudly into the mouth piece, his statement quickly echoed by several cheers as every single person involved in tonight's show received the praise. I was completely hyperactive once again and spent the entire time it took the boys to shower and pack up circling our dressing room on my scooter.

"Hey guys, there's something I want you to see, grab your stuff we will head back to the bus" Caitlyn called to us. Lazily the boys who had been half asleep on the couches rose to their feet and gather up our belongings. Following her and Carl through backstage to the door we had entered from earlier that day. Pushing open the door we were greeted by several cameras all there to record the first concert of the tour. They began shouting out questions, shoving microphones and recorders under our noses.

"How did the first show go?" a guy shouted as he pushed his way in front of me.

"Great, it was a good night" I answered honestly as Carl approached and told him to step back and let me through. More questions were thrown in our direction but Carl hurried us passed. Back on the bus I rang mom and spoke to her for a while about the show and everything. Once dad came on the bus he took the phone to talk to mom and told me to get some sleep.

We kept up the same routine for three days spending each at a different city before we got our first day off. It was day one of three days at our fourth location and Caitlyn had organised a bunch of things to keep the four of us occupied. Instead of doing our normal school work we spent that morning at the local zoo. We took just Ann and Carl with us, walking around all the animal enclosures. We also had the privilege of getting to go behind the scenes at the zoo, getting up close and personal with some of the animals. Ann managed to capture a very cool picture of me with a snake draped across my shoulders its head just inches from mine, both of us appearing to be cautiously eyeing the other off. I am going to email it to mom tonight. We also got the opportunity to feed some sea lions. It was incredibly smelly and it felt really creepy as they snatched the fish out of our extended arms. After a yummy lunch at a fast food burger place we met up with dad, Caitlyn, Nate and Jason. Altogether we headed off to an outdoor paintball centre, where dad had organised for us to play a game. I can describe that activity in one word… OUCH! I didn't realise how much it would hurt. But it only took one hit in the arm before I decided I would hide it out behind one of the inflatable obstacles that were set up. We had arranged ourselves into two teams. Kids verses adults, Ann and wisely chosen to sit out and Caitlyn wasn't allowed to play. We kids had red paint pellets while the adults had blue. We started at opposite ends of the field with the aim being to get to your entire team to your opponents side before them. We had been given safety masks and vests to wear but our arms and legs were bare. I dropped the heavy paint gun at my feet and lifted up my sleave to inspect my first war wound. I winced when I saw the nasty red welt forming on my upper arm. After a few minutes when my arm stopped stinging I made a second attempt to move from my end of the field. I stayed low to the ground this time unlike the first time when all four of us had stupidly just bolted as far as we could before we were hit. Clearly my uncles and father had played before and had a strategy. I moved just one inflatable closer to my goal, taking three more direct hits in the process. I slouched against the large pyramid shaped object, telling myself I was never going to play paintball ever again! Turning my head to the right I caught sight of Noah combat crawling towards me. My eyes widened when he made it with out being hit.

"You ok?" he asked a delighted grin on his face. I rolled my eyes finding it hard to believe he was enjoying it. I shook my head but before I could really answer Jason appeared from my other side bombarding us with a hail storm of paintballs. I shrieked and Noah grabbed my arm yanking us both out of the way and signalled for a time out. A safety referee blew a whistle forcing everyone to hold their fire. He looked over to us as if asking if we were seriously hurt. I put my gun down again, pulled off my mask and raise my hands in a surrendering fashion.

"I want out!" I yelled to him, deciding that I had received enough bruises to last me the rest of tour. Dad was a little panicked when he saw it was me being taken out of the game.

"You alright?" he asked pulling off his mask to check I wasn't hurt. I nodded.

"Yeah I just don't like it, I'm going to go sit out with Caitlyn" I assured him. Dad was a little hesitant but ended up rejoining the game. Ann almost had a heart attack as she and Caitlyn helped me clean off the paint.

"Caitlyn, have you seen her arm?" she gasped holding out my arm for Caitlyn to see. By the time the boys all came back inside I was sitting on a bench in between Caitlyn and Ann, with one ice pack on a large purple bruise on my left leg and another on my arm where I first got hit.

"You sure you're ok princess?" dad asked sceptically, giving me a kiss on the forehead. Caitlyn responded for me.

"Mitchie is going to kill you" she stated shaking her head. Dad paled slightly taking Ann's spot as she went to inspect my band mates who had all stumbled into the room looking extremely blue. Dad gently removed the ice pack from my arm pulling a face when he saw the mark and cussing under his breath.

"It looks worse than it is; I was only playing for like fifteen minutes…I bruise easy?" I offered.

"Your mom is not going to be happy" he sighed returning the ice pack.

"How are the boys?" Caitlyn called over to Ann and Nate who were helping them clean off their paint.

"Seth coped a good one on the back but Noah and Dylan seem alright" Ann replied pulling up the back of Seth's shirt to reveal a mark worse than any of mine. I called Seth over and took the ice pack off my arm holding it under his shirt directly on the injured area. He flinched at the contact but didn't complain about the pain.

"Well that's the last time we do this" Caitlyn announced teasingly trying to wash red paint out of Nate's hair. Jason frowned mumbling something about Caitlyn ruining all the fun.

That night I emailed mom two photos the one with me and the snake and one of all the boys entering the room covered in paint. I told her all about our day playing down any injuries so she wouldn't be so mad at dad, I could tell he felt bad.

"I'm sorry you got hurt today, baby" he had apologised when he said goodnight back at the hotel that night.

"It's not your fault dad; I get hurt a lot, remember the photo album" I pointed out reminding him about mom's photo album filled with memories of my many clumsy and just plain stupid moments. He smiled at me.

"Goodnight, Charlie"

**the song is Get out by Mitchel Musso**


	7. Chapter 7

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Seven**

**AN: Happy New Year Everyone!  
Thank you for all the christmas wishes and reviews!  
I hope you all had a good christmas.  
I normally dont do this and dont intend do make a habit of it so I hope I am forgiven for doing it this once.  
I just wanted to reply to a few of your reviews.**

**Peaceandsmiles - Shane and Mitchie did get married and it was very very briefly mentioned in chapter one, I did not feel the need to write about it in great detail, so I understand if you missed it. If anyone thinks I should have written it more, let me know I shall fit it in. **

**SpencerCollins - Sorry to hear you didnt get a white christmas, seeing as it is currently summer in Australia we dont get white christmases ever, but I imagine they are really awesome for those living in the northern hemisphere. **

**Enjoy the chapter  
Princess Kay : ) **

The past two days have been crazy busy, and for a change we haven't actually been on the road. We stayed in the current city for three days, a record for this tour. We have been on tour for about a month now and to be honest I have no idea where we are. We change locations every day or two, I wouldn't even know the time if it wasn't for people telling me were I had to be all the time. It is like we are living in some crazy time warp. Being summer we don't have any school work we have to complete but that doesn't mean we have had more free time. Caitlyn has had us very occupied with promotional stuff for the release of our debut album. To make things even crazier in the past week at least half of the crew on tour half come down with the flu

I was awoken from my current hotel room at 4:30 the other morning with much complaint, my throat was a little sore so took a vitamin C tablet just in case. I arrived half dead at a local television studio just before six. After consuming a can of red bull and two pop tarts, during the car ride I was a little more awake. A make up artist and hair stylist worked quickly to make sure I looked presentable. To appear on the morning television talk show. The make up was very neutral and natural and my hair was pulled into a side pony tail. I changed into a faded denim skirt and a white tank top which Caitlyn had dug out of my stuff that morning. This was the first of many publicity events scheduled for the next two days, as the official release date is tomorrow. However I was doing it alone, well not alone the show had actually booked Connect Three and me. So while I was holding back yawns my three band mates were snoring back at the hotel.

"Hey Princess, you awake yet?" dad greeted sleepily as he entered the hair and make up room. I shook my head and lazily held out my arms for a hug. Dad stepped around the hairdresser and carefully embraced me.

"Are you nervous?" he asked pulling away. I shook my head and raised my phone to his eye level, indicating I had phoned mom. It had become a tradition that I had to ring mom before every show to calm my nerves. Even after a month I still became a little nervous before every concert. He rolled his eyes and the hairdresser told me I was done. I jumped off the chair and hugged dad again before moving to head out of the room.

"We are on at seven, nice talking to you" dad called out the door his voice filled with sarcasm because I had yet to speak a word to him. A small smile crept across my face and I turned around in the doorway to face him as he took my spot in the chair.

"I love you daddy" I said cheekily and left the room in search of my uncles. The hair and make up ladies had a good chuckle at that.

At seven dad, Nate and Jason were seated on a large rounded couch next to the shows host Sadie. I was standing behind the camera next to the shows producer. The bright stage lights were beginning to give me a headache. Sadie chatted with the boys about their tour for a little bit then talked to dad about mom and me. She went on to joke about Nate and Caitlyn asking if they had plans to have children, Nate kept his expression blank and said 'when it happens it happens' Sadie seemed keen to get something out of the boys and began to ask Jason about his dating life which really went no where. Before she conceited and cut to an ad break. She shook hands with Nate and Jason who patted me on the back as we switched places. Sadie greeted me with a rather tight hug then let me sit in between her and dad.

"Welcome back, sitting with me on the couch right now we have Shane Gray and his beautiful daughter Charlotte, sixteen year old Charlotte is currently joining Connect Three on their summer tour with her own band! Talk about keeping it in the family" she ranted enthusiastically. She crossed her legs and I felt dad's leg press comfortingly against mine.

"What is it like for both of you to be touring together? Do things get tense?" she asked as I tried to hide yet another yawn.

"No I think it has been a good bonding experience, if anything it has brought us closer together" Dad responded to her first question.

"So Charlotte, have you always wanting to be a performer like your parents?" she smiled broadly at me. I gritted my teeth at the constant use of my full name.

"I can't say I ever pictured myself up on stage doing what they do but I have always shared their passion for music" I answered with a nod using one of the many rehearsed responses Caitlyn had been drilling into me and the band. I was feeling a little camera shy. Glancing behind the camera I could see Jason and Nate pulling faces like idiots, I smiled knowing they were trying to make me feel more relaxed.

"It must be pretty hard having parents who are both extremely talented and famous" she commented urging me to talk some more.

"Not really I mean to me they are just mom and dad I never really thought of them as big stars, they are just like normal parents" Sadie's expression encouraged me to expand my answer.

"They still embarrass me in public, help me with my homework and ground me for not doing my chores" I chuckled flinching as dad poked me in the side at the first part.

Sadie laughed too finishing the interview by reading off the tour dates and announcing the album release.

"I'm embarrassing am I?" he teased poking me again after the producer call that the show had gone to another commercial.

"Yes!" I shrieked as he tickled my side. Nate and Jason joined us back on the couch with Sadie and a photographer took a few photos before we said goodbye and left.

By half past nine Caitlyn, Noah, Seth, Dylan and I were at a local radio station. I was on to my second can of red bull using it this time to wash down an apple and some aspirin for my increasingly bad headache. The radio station was going to play our first single so we were all pretty excited. I bounced happily into the studio greeting the shows hosts with enthusiasm, cause by a red bull sugar rush. We sat in swivel stools opposite the hosts at a table filled with microphones. We pulled big black headphones over our ears and waited for the song to end so we could begin the interview.

"I'm in the studio this morning with, Noah, Seth, Dylan and Charlie who are currently on tour with musical legends Connect Three! Now that has to be pretty awesome?" one of the two radio hosts Simon started off the live interview.

"Awesome is probably an understatement, they are great guys and like mentors to us" Seth answered like an expert although this was our first ever radio interview. The female host Cara asked the next question.

"So Charlie, honestly you're the only girl on a tour bus with these three and connect three, that can't be fun" she said her tone sympathetic and dramatic. I laughed before responding.

"I'm actually not the only girl on the bus, my Aunt Caitlyn and Seth's mom are on tour with us too, but yeah us girls are definitely out numbered" I smiled leaning forward in my chair.

"Yeah but being the only girl has got to have its perks, I mean your living with three teenage boys" Simon teased suggestively. I laughed it off and chose not to comment on his statement. But Simon wasn't giving up.

"Come on everyone saw your birthday footage from Hot Tunes, you can't honestly tell me you aren't romantically linked to any of these handsome lads sitting next to you today?" he pushed trying to get a scoop out of me.

"Honestly Simon, these boys are like annoying brothers" I told him shaking my head.

"But hold on I think it was Seth wasn't it who gave you a birthday kiss, you too were getting quite flirty" he continued looking to Seth hoping he would dish what I wasn't.

I gritted my teeth, but kept my smile in place why hadn't I watched that footage! I hope they hadn't played up on something that wasn't there.

"Nah really we are just good friends" Seth agreed and Cara told Simon to quit hassling us and played a song. I took sip of my third red bull and adjusted my headphones. I could hear the song that was currently playing on the radio station; it was the current holder of number one on the US pop charts. I began to softly sing along to the words knowing them as well as any of our own songs. Noah and Dylan began singing with me, adding in some pretty wild air guitar moves from their seats next to me. Even Seth was singing along.

By the time the chorus came around we were all really getting into the song.

"And that was your current number one; we are currently sitting with the daughter of Connect Three star Shane Gray and her band.-" I groaned mentally was I forever going to be known as the rock stars daughter!

"-In just a minute we are going to play their debut single 'Let's Make this last forever' off of their debut album which is released tomorrow!" Cara cheered all in just one breath.

"Now you guys were discovered the same way as stars, like Connect Three, Mitchie Torres and Margret Dupree, at Camp Rock Summer Music Camp?" Simon asked.

"That's right, almost a year ago now" Dylan grinned happily. We talked for a little while about recording and how busy the past year had been before they played our track.

"That was Let's Make this last forever, you can vote for that song right now just go to our website, or give us a call, we are going to say goodbye to Noah, Seth, Dylan and Charlie. Make sure you go out and buy a copy of their album when it comes out tomorrow because these guys are great!" Simon finished and another song played as we went off the air. We took a couple of Photo's with the hosts before heading off to our next stop. In the car on the way there Seth and Noah rang into the radio station and voted for our song several times, putting on fake voices so they would not be recognised.

After that we went to the local mall, I had convinced Caitlyn to let us go and pick something out to wear to our album release party tomorrow night. It was really fun, at the mall we were regular teenagers no one seemed to know that our debut album was coming out tomorrow or that that night we would be performing on stage to thousands. I hadn't realised it but I haven't felt normal in a while. In fact I don't think I have felt normal since I became 'Shane Gray's daughter'. I was over searching through the women's fashion while the boys were off doing who knows what.

"Hey Charlie, how do I look?" Noah called to me from behind a stand filled with accessories. I burst out laughing the second I saw him. Noah was wearing a floral pink scarf over his dark hair and a pair of large round sun glasses which covered half of his face.

"Why Noah darling I don't think she likes it perhaps you should try the gold earrings" Dylan suggested in a high voice holding out a pair of gold hoops for Noah. Dylan was just as bad, he had a big straw hat on and at least thirty different bracelets decorating his arms. My eyes widened and I laughed even louder at the sight of my boyfriend. Caitlyn hearing my near hysterical laughter came over took one look at the boys, which now included Seth who was wearing a green chunky beaded necklace and a rhinestone belt; she shook her head and walked away.

"Which do you think Charlie, blue or red?" Seth asked me seriously once I had recovered slightly, holding out two dresses.

"Um I think we should get you boys over to the men's department" I bit back another giggle.

"Fast" I added when I caught Noah admiring his reflection. Once my band mates were back to normal we relocated to the male half of the store. Where I helped them each pick out a nice shirt and tie. We didn't know whether to do dressy or casual so we went with both, the boys mixing jeans and sneakers with shirts and ties, while I found a casual summery dress. It took for ever, you would not believe how fussy boys can be when it comes to shopping, and by the time we left my headache was returning. We arrived at the stadium at about four just in time for our sound check. None of us were really in the mood for sound check though; it had become just another boring task we had to complete during the day. Dylan was keeping himself occupied by tossing a hackie sack around whilst singing, dropping lyrics every now and then to focus on keeping it in the air. Seth seemed happy to amuse himself by changing up the beat every now and then, hence messing all of us up.

"Pay attention" I snapped at Dylan catching the hackie sack and tossing it side stage, my patience was low as my head started pounding. The loud music and bright concert lights were driving me almost as insane as the boys were.

"Seth!" I cried in frustration when the beat suddenly changed once again. I was tired and my short temper had finally reacted. I put my guitar down on the stand and stomped angrily over to the drums snatching the sticks forcefully from his hand.

"Will you please stick to our songs as they have been written" I demanded yelling at him. He looked a little shocked at my outburst as did everyone else on stage at that moment. I returned the sticks to Seth, shut my eyes and took a deep breath regretting letting my temper come out.

"Sorry… I'm gonna …go" I mumbled my brain struggling to form a sentence and walked off stage. I pulled out my in-ears letting them hang around my neck and wandered through backstage till I found dad. He was with Nate and Jason at yet another meet and greet. Security let me through easily as always but I knew the PR representative was another story. Her hand fell on my shoulder as I tried to pass. She opened her mouth to tell me to go somewhere else but changed her mind and closed it.

"I would let her through" Randy, head of security said from behind me. I was a little surprised to find him there, but happy he was telling her to back off. The PR rep really doesn't like me after the first three days of trying to crash the meet and greets I gave up; she sent me away every time. She stepped aside and let both me and Randy through to dad. Jason saw Randy first he kinda stands out in a crowd.

"Hey Randy" he yelled out directing Nate and dad's attention to us. I jogged forward and embraced dad in a tight hug, I buried my face in his shirt and let the tears I hadn't realise were there fall. His arms held me close and rubbed my back.

"What's happened?" Nate asked I couldn't see who he was asking; I shut my eyes firmly and just listened for a minute. I could hear all the people excitedly waiting to see the band, and a constant throbbing sensation that made me think my brain was going to explode.

"We really gotta keep this moving" someone said.

"I can't…" dad started but Randy cut him off. His large hand rested across my back.

"I will look after her" Randy assured him, gently pulling me apart from my dad, whose hand brushed across my forehead and cheek soothingly, pausing to discreetly take my temperature.

"Randy I want her checked out by the doctor" he ordered placing a tender kiss on my forehead.

"Go rest and eat, if you're not well you're not going on stage tonight" he whispered, I was still crying for some unknown reason, I nodded and let Randy lead me away. Just half an hour later it was decided I wasn't going to perform that night. Instead I sat in the dressing room in my pyjamas with Ann watching on a television screen as my band went on without me. The doctor had confirmed what my dad had guessed during the meet and greet, I had caught the flu.

Drugged up with cold and flu medication I slept through most of the concert and didn't wake up until dad woke me at seven the next morning.

"How are you feeling?" he asked as a retuned from taking a shower.

"Like I have the flu" I replied sarcastically pulling my black band sweatshirt over my head. It was the worst possible time for me to get sick, with our album coming out today we had a cd signing scheduled at the mall we were at yesterday and the party that night. Ann although technically only Seth's mother took on the role Caitlyn had jokingly given her 'band mother' from the moment she saw me that morning she never left my side. Ensuring we all ate a proper breakfast instead of the regular sugary pop tarts we normally ate. By nine we were at the mall, the first thing we did as per a Gray family tradition was purchase a copy of our own album even though we already had several copies. Then the four of us sat down at a table, Caitlyn passed us each three sharpies and sat a pile of pictures at one end. Seth who was closest passed us each one to look at it was the album cover photo. Behind us were more pictures of us, it was really weird to see our faces everywhere. Ann made sure each of us had a bottle of water. We met the store owners and took a photo with them before we began. Much to our surprise there were quite a few people there waiting to get our cd and signatures. We were there for two hours, signing photos and cd's a few people even had caps and t-shirts from last nights concert. It was really amazing to hear people tell us they enjoyed out music. My wow moment of the day came when a nine year old girl approached the table with her mother. She was wearing our t-shirt from the concert and seemed a little shy. Her mother asked Seth to sign her cd which he did passing it along the table for Dylan then me to sign. After writing my signature under my picture I passed it to Noah following the same repetitive process I had been doing all day. The little girl took a step towards me and handed me a gift bag, whispering that it was for me. I smiled and thanked her dropping my pen to take a look inside.

"My daughter was upset to hear that you were sick last night and wanted to make sure you felt better" her mother explained as I pulled out of the bag a packet of cough lollies and small white bear that had get well soon stitched onto it's tummy. I wanted to cry at how sweet that little girl was. I was so touched by what she did; I felt the need to give her something in return.

"I would give you a hug, but I don't want to make you sick" I told her; instead I asked her, what her name was and asked Seth to give me a picture. I turned it over and quickly wrote her a message.

_Dear Zoe  
Thank you for making me feel better  
your are one very special fan  
Love Charlie Gray _

While my favourite moment was sweet and sentimental the boys favourite moment was less so. They agreed their favourite moment was when two over excited fourteen year old girls begged them to sign their stomachs as well as the cd. I continued to take cold medication all day and drank lots of water. By the party that night I was feeling a little better. We had our photo taken with heaps of different people involved in the making of our album as well as every member of the record label who had shown up to the party, thrown in a function room at the hotel we were staying in. There was lots of food and speeches as well. And more then enough hands to shake. Once again the same annoying introduction followed me around the room.

'And this is Charlie Gray, Shane Gray's daughter' sneaking up to my bedroom around eleven pm I vowed to myself that I was going to lose the little addition to my name. One day people were going to know me as Charlie Gray and nothing more.


	8. Chapter 8

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Eight**

**AN: Hey All!  
Thank you as always for all reviews you guys are truly awesome people!  
I have created a Twitter account specially for my fanfiction stuff, so feel free to add me...** ** / FFPrincessKay (remove spaces)  
enjoy this chapter  
PrincessKay  
**

It has been a week since our album came out and I have finally recovered from my cold. I sat out only one more show after the first and surprisingly none of the boys caught it. Today is a Thursday I believe and one of the most exciting days on our tour so far. In just an hour we will arrive in our hometown where we are all ecstatic to be performing at tonight, in front of our families and friends. Just the thought of all the familiar faces in the audience gives us an even stronger desire to make the concert tonight our best one yet. This was the place where I was Charlie the local girl not Charlie the girl with rock star parents. It was a long drive from our last location so we were all awake and eager to get off the bus by the time we arrived. We had all wanted to go exploring around town and see our friends, see what had changed but Caitlyn at four and half months into her pregnancy told us she was tired and maybe tomorrow we could go. Not wanting to argue with a pregnant woman we gave in knowing we would see most of our friends that night at the show. Instead after lunch we gathered up as much of the crew as we could for a game of baseball in the back car park where the buses were parked. Competitive natures coming out it wasn't long before a bet was arranged and our two opposing captains Seth and Nate tossed a coin to see who would bat first. Nate's team went first but the game moved quickly and soon I found myself standing on first base chatting to Jason who was guarding it while Noah stepped up taking his turn to bat. The game was very close and we didn't have many people left to bat. Carl bowled the ball and Noah swiftly hit it, sending it high into the air and a fair way across the car park to the left. Our team cheered as Nate's team chased after the ball leaving Dylan who was on third base to make it home safe and giving Noah and I time to sprint. Just as I touched second base where my dad was standing grinning at me, Noah shouted for me to keep going. Glancing toward the direction of the ball I saw they hadn't reached it yet and sprinted towards Randy at the next base. Our team kept shouting for us to run so without pausing at the base I touched it and kept going, only to feel an arm grab my middle and hold me tightly on the base. I squealed in surprise as Randy held me in place on the base for a second before releasing me Noah hadn't seen and was already half way to third base I had no choice but to keep going. Where thanks to Randy, Nate who had been standing on the home plate was able to catch the ball and send me out of the game.

"No! You cheated" I cried as Nate called me out with a smirk. Suddenly my cell phone rang; I pulled it out of my pocket and answered it without checking the caller id.

"Are you being a sore loser, Charlotte?" a stern yet playful voice asked me. I froze knowing the voice had to be watching from close by. I turned quickly on my heel to see just a few metres behind dad was the person on the other end of my call. I squealed again clutching the phone tight and running straight for them. As I breezed passed dad he turned to see where I was headed and smiled.

"Mom!" I yelled hugging her as tight as I could to make sure she was really there, I couldn't believe it. Her familiar scent filled my nose and I realised just how much I truly missed her.

"Surprise" she giggled hugging me back.

"What are you doing here? How long are you here for? Why didn't you tell me?" I rushed pulling away from her hug.

"Visiting you, a while and… it was a surprise" she answered slowly trying to recall the questions I had just spat out in a jumble. Dad's arm slid around my waist moving me aside and he quickly leaned in to kiss mom, while still holding me.

"I missed you too" I heard him whisper before he kissed her again. Although it was sweet they were also my parents and it was my job as their daughter to interrupt. I scrunched up my nose pulling a face.

"Ew I'm still here!" I whined wiggling away from dad who tightened his grip and pulled me closer. He removed his lips from mom's quickly kissing my cheek.

"We didn't forget about you" he teased.

"Ok boys to sound check, crew back to work and kids with me" Ann called stepping out of our tour bus and giving everyone their marching orders. Everyone moved very quickly towards their appropriate tasks.

"She has you all well trained" mom giggled as dad kissed her once more and chased after Nate and Jason who were headed for the stage. I nodded took her hand and directed her over to where my band mates were standing in front of Ann and Caitlyn. The women all hugged, mom gushing over Caitlyn's growing belly.

"Ok this bus is a pig sty, you have just 1 hour until sound check, and if you want to play Xbox you will clean it in less than that" Ann ordered. We all groaned and rolled our eyes. Admittedly the bus was a mess, we have gotten lazy recently and our belongings littered every surface. Finishing tidying up my bunk I felt something wet scratch across the bare skin of my left shoulder. Turning around I saw Seth smiling at me, holding up a sharpie he had found in his stuff.

"It still works" he grinned cheekily grasping my arm with his free hand to inspect the jagged black dash there. I frowned licking my finger and trying to wipe it away, it wasn't going to cooperate though not even smudging. I sent Seth a disapproving look and he sent me a puppy dog face.

"Aw come here" he instructed bringing me over to the couch and sitting me between his legs. He took hold of my arm again and brought the permanent marker back against my skin. I watched as Seth's nose scrunched up in concentration as he carefully turned the line into a picture. Sitting back ten minutes later he smiled happy with his work. I stood up and went to the bathroom to examine my arm in the mirror. There on my upper arm Seth had turned the dash into a love heart, using his beautiful cursive script to write an I above it and his name below it. All together the image read 'I love Seth'.

"Aw that's cute Seth, come here" I giggled taking the marker off him and drawing a matching one on his left arm that read 'I love Charlie' only not in neat writing and my heart was a little wonky. Of course Seth as always couldn't let a sweet moment be and had to make a joke.

"Aw you love me" he made a face like he was going to cry, placing a hand over his heart, but the smirk on his lips gave him away. I lightly shoved him out of the way declaring a race to our dressing room. When we arrived both breathing hard from running, both Dylan and Noah were putting on their in-ears ready for sound check.

Heading to the stage our back up band was already there ready to rock and roll like always, they truly are awesome guys. Setting up all of our gear Noah noticed Seth's artwork on my arm.

"Hey! Don't you love me?" he teased adjusting his guitar strap. I reached into my back pocket removing the permanent marker I had stashed from earlier. It didn't take long to sketch a heart on Noah's arm, once I was done I handed him the marker and offered my right arm. Noah's heart wasn't as artistic and fancy as Seth's but it was cute.

"What about me?" Dylan whispered huskily in my ear once Noah was finished. My teeth gently grazed my bottom lip as I took the marker back off Noah and carefully traced the image into Dylan's upper arm making it larger than the others. Dylan wordlessly took the marker from my hand when I was done. His blue eyes glanced from one arm to another noticing both were covered, a cheeky smirk appeared on his face. His left hand reached for my hand and sat me down on the edge of the stage, where he jumped off. Dylan's fingers brushed the tanned skin on my thigh where he left his mark, branding the words 'I heart Dylan' finishing with a kiss that sent tingles racing through my body. I threaded my fingers through his blonde hair and kissed his forehead, our lips met and I lost all sense of the world around us until Dylan's hands found my hips pulling me down to him. As I slipped off the stage I pulled away wrapping my arms firmly around Dylan until I felt my feet safely hit the ground.

"I wouldn't drop you" Dylan chuckled reading my mind.

"I'll drop the two of you if you don't get you butts back up on this stage!" Caitlyn shouted. With her hormones the way they have been we weren't going to mess around, jumping back on stage in a hurry.

"And a 1, 2…1, 2, 3, 4" Seth tapped his drum sticks together starting off our rehearsal. After Caitlyn's comment we were all really focused and we sounded really good because of it.

_I remember you giving me your number when I met you  
I remember you asking me if I could walk you home  
I remember you said to me you wanna to be my girlfriend_

It's funny how these things don't last for long  
Not funny how I don't know the way to carry on

As the song approached the chorus Noah and I began to play, while Dylan stood at the microphone stand tapping his right hand against his thigh to keep count.

_  
Tell me how am I supposed to get you off my mind?  
When you know I really couldn't even if I tried  
But I guess in the meanwhile, I'm taking you off the speed dial  
Tell me how am I supposed to get you off my mind?_

And every time I hear the song, it used to play when you called  
I used to want to sing along but now I wanna die  
I don't listen to the radio, I'm trying to forget you

It doesn't help because I see you all the time  
Your new boyfriend used to be the closest friend of mine

As we started into the second chorus we gained an audience, well besides Caitlyn and the regular crew members running checks. Mom, Dad, Connie, Steve, Alexis and the boys families all turned up, smiling proudly and waving to us. 

Tell me how am I supposed to get you off my mind?  
When you know I really couldn't even if I tried  
But I guess in the meanwhile, I'm taking you off the speed dial  
Tell me how am I supposed to get you off my mind?

We smiled back but didn't let it distract us too much. 

I'm deleting all the memories 'cause  
The pictures speak of tragedies  
I don't wanna go on living in denial

Noah and I stopped waiting for the chorus before starting to play again.

I'm taking you off the speed dial  
I'm taking you off the speed dial

Tell me how am I supposed to get you off my mind?  
When you know I really couldn't even if I tried  
But I guess in the meanwhile I'm taking you off the speed dial  
Tell me how am I supposed to get you off my mind?  
When you know I really couldn't even if I tried

But I guess in the meanwhile, I'm taking you off the speed dial  
Tell me how am I supposed to get you off my mind?  
I'm taking you off the speed dial at least for a while

The music faded and our audience cheered excitedly. Up on stage we all got ready to jump off and say hello however we were stopped by Caitlyn.

"Hold up, two more songs then you're free" she reasoned Dylan let out a groan in response, which the microphone picked up.

"Well Mr Watson if you hadn't have been so busy with Miss Gray at the start of sound check you would be done by now" Caitlyn snapped and Dylan's cheeks turned a slight shade of red, his eyes moving to his feet.

"Ah Seth" Dylan mumbled into the microphone clearing his throat, encouraging Seth to started us off on another song. I bit my lip again knowing my cheeks were also red with embarrassment. After running threw 'Get out' and 'Hey' Caitlyn said we were good to go.

"Aw Baby, that was so good!" Connie greeted with a very tight hug and a huge smile. Steve's greeting was similar, Alexis let out an ear piercing squeal and hugged the life right out of me. Once I was done and we were all standing in a huddle in front of the stage talked rapidly in excitement, dad noted my new tattoo's of sorts.

"What have you been up to?" he asked rhetorically, his hand twisting my elbow to get a better look at my arm.

"You love Seth, aw well I am sure Dylan will be upset to hear that" he joked. I just rolled my eyes.

"Nope I love him too see… and Noah as well" I said showing off the other markings. Dad just shook his head, Frowning slightly when he saw how high up my leg Dylan's one was. To be funny I pulled the marker out of my back pocket once again and held out my hand to him. Dad cautiously placed his hand in mine where I turned it over and drew a heart on his palm. Above the heart I wrote my own name and below it I wrote daddy. 'Charlie hearts Daddy'.

"Here" I offered passing over the pen and pointing to my clean leg. I had expected him to write 'Daddy loves Charlie' instead I got 'I love my daddy'. Dad laughed seeming proud of his joke.

Dinner was spent with everyone talking over the top of each other trying to share the highlights of tour with our families before we had to go. Back in our dressing room red bulls were consumed and warm ups were sung, prayers were said and final stage preparations were underway. Tonight I would not have to call my mom she was sitting in the audience like everyone else. We group hugged and headed side stage. I bounced lightly on my toes listening to the thrilling sound of the crowd getting all hyped up. It was definitely one of our best performances, lots of energy, not a single mistake and to our amazement they seemed to know our songs. As we played and sang we could here our audience sing the words back to us, it was so cool! Coming off stage we were so pumped. As we passed Connect Three heading to stage I was stopped by Nate.

"Your ready?" he grinned grabbing my wrist and pulling me back towards the stage.

"Yeah" I smirked leaving my band mates who had no idea what was going on to keep going back to the dressing room, side stage he released my hand and ran on stage leaving me feeling a little nervous. Caitlyn came over to me smiling.

"Okay when Nate introduces their third song you head across the back of the stage towards him then as you sing down the steps to Shane, when your done just come back here" Caitlyn explained handing me a hand held microphone. I took a shaky breath my stomach filling with butterflies.

"Shane has no idea what is about to happen it is going to freak him out" she giggled like she was planning to take over the world. Caitlyn and Nate had cornered me just after dinner with an idea to prank dad, how could I say no.

It wasn't long at all before there second song finished and Nate took his microphone and headed over to the drum kit.

"Ok tonight we are mixing things up a bit" he started dad instantly shooting him a much panicked look. Nate, Jason and the band all played it cool though.

"Tonight we bring back a very special guest and an old favourite" Nate finished and they began playing the song. I walked sneakily behind everything to stand next to Nate. The spot light had been removed from the drums so that we were in relative darkness. A look of realisation came over dad as he heard the opening note and he smiled. I took a deep breath and shut my eyes, ready to sing. The spot light returned and I sang.

_I've always been the kind of girl  
that hid my face  
So afraid to tell the world  
What I've got to say_

As the familiar words of a duet long ago sung by my parents flowed from my mouth, I opened my eyes to see dad do a double take, I think he had expected mom when he first heard the opening chords.

_  
But I had this dream  
Bright inside of me  
I'm going to let it show  
It's time  
To let you know  
To let you know_

_This is the real, this is me  
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now  
Gonna let the light  
Shine on me  
Now I've found  
Who I am  
There's no way to hold it in  
No more hiding who I want to be  
This is me_

Thanks to all the singing lessons with Nate since before tour started my voice was strong and I just managed to pull off the notes my mother was so good at singing. 

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark  
To dream about a life where you're the shining star  
Even though it seems  
Like it's to far away  
I have to believe in myself  
It's the only way

I sang to Nate, as hi smiled encouragingly at me, before I began down the stairs during the next chorus towards my surprised dad. 

This is the real, this is me  
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now  
Gonna let the light  
Shine on me  
Now I've found  
Who I am  
There's no way to hold it in  
No more hiding who I want to be  
This is me

I managed to finish the chorus standing next to dad who took my hand and sang his part.

_  
You're the voice I hear inside my head  
The reason that I'm singing  
I need to find you  
I gotta find you  
You're the missing piece I need  
The song inside of me  
I need to find you _I sang too our voiced harmonizing almost as well as his and mom's. _  
I gotta find you_

Dad led me along the catwalk so we were standing together at the end singing. I picked out mom in the second row with tears falling down her face.

_  
This is the real, this is me  
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now  
Gonna let the light  
Shine on me  
Now I've found who I am  
There's no way to hold it in  
No more hiding who I want to be_

Dad's arm fell across my shoulders hugging me towards him. 

This is me  
You're the missing piece I need  
The song inside of me  
This is me  
You're the voice I hear inside my head  
The reason that I'm singing

Now I found who I am  
There's no way to hold it in  
No more hiding who I want to be  
This is me

"Charlie Gray, ladies and gentleman!" Nate called out as the song finished, I gave dad one final hug whispering 'gotcha' in his ear before waving to the audience and running off stage. Caitlyn was in the dressing room laughing hysterically.

"That was perfect! Did you see Shanes face!" she shrieked clutching her sides when I returned. I nodded and made a grab for my towel and water bottle I was all sweaty and hot.

"Mom was crying" I informed her as I wiped my face clean, leaving smudges of make up all over the towel.

Once the show was over dad ran back stage and tackled me onto the couch, tickling me till I could barely breathe.

"You little jokester, just you wait I will get you back!" he threatened poking my side once more for good measure.

"Aw that was beautiful Charlie" mom sniffled tears still in her eyes as she came back stage too. Caitlyn and Nate couldn't hold it in both began laughing.

"Shane had no idea, Cait and I set the hold thing up an hour before we went on stage" Nate chuckled dodging dad's swinging arm as he realised he had just gone after the wrong culprit.

"You have just started a prank war, dear little brother" Shane warned with a big grin of his face. Jason let out a whoop of delight.

"I'll go get the water bombs" he cheered and fled the room before anyone could stop him.

**songs - speed dial by mitchel musso  
- this is me/ gotta find you from camp rock  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Nine**

**AN: Hey Everyone!  
I'm really sorry about the delay in updating for some reason I thought I had posted already.  
Anyway to apologise you get two chapters at once, I will post chapter ten in just a minute.  
I hope you enjoy it, as always let me know what you're thinking reviews are awesome and so are all of you!  
Princess Kay**

After the show we had a party to attend! A totally awesome party! With all of our families and closest friends we headed off to a local bouncy house. It was so cool, they whole place had been booked out for us to run wild in. There were trampolines, a giant ball pit and heaps of inflatable slides, jumping castles and obstacle courses to waste energy on. Go wild was exactly what we did. Well most of us. The mom's being moms pretty much sat in a huddle and talked, transforming into a cheer squad when required. Jason and I found a lot of entertainment in bouncing on a giant inflatable pillow and bashing each other with foam pool noodles. If you jump really close to your opponent when you hit them they loose their footing as the pillow shifts and usually fall down. Jason being heavier than me was better at making me fall but with the poor balance every fall was hilarious, getting back up even funnier. I was on my back gasping for breath between bursts of giggles and Jason was trying to help me up. Our noodles abandoned next to us. I was laughing too hard to control my movements so really Jason was doing all the work. He took my hands firmly and leaned backwards slightly to hoist me up, but he lost his balance and both of us fell over. After a few more attempts and no success we agreed to give up and crawled off the pillow. My sides were aching with laughter and returning to solid ground my legs felt like jello. We sat down on the blue mats surrounding the pillow to recover; watching as others noisily enjoy themselves. I spotted Nate with Caitlyn she was sitting talking to people while he stood behind her tenderly rubbing her growing stomach. The sight reminded me that Jason didn't have that, as far as I was aware he wasn't even dating, I mean I had never heard him mention a girl.

"Jason, when I stayed at Donna and Craig's I saw a photo of a girl in your bedroom, who is she?" I asked softly. Jason gave me a confused look then gave me a beaming smile of recognition.

"Ella!" he announced proudly, his brown eyes alight with happiness.

"She's very pretty, do you still talk to her?" I asked curiously but trying to act casual. Jason looked away as if pondering over my question for a moment. Then he shook his head. A loud shout over by the trampolines caught our attention as teams were forming for a game of dodge ball. Jason jumped up eagerly and ran over to join in. assuming the conversation was over I ran to join the game also.

We arrived at the hotel in the early hours of the morning feeling surprisingly awake. Dylan, Seth and Noah had all gone home to spend the night with their families and would be meeting us back at the stadium tomorrow in time for sound check. Alexis however was staying the night with us. Entering the empty lobby Randy handed out key cards to the rooms. Caitlyn and Nate, then Mom and Dad, then I and Alexis and finally Jason had his own room. Alexis and I raced Jason up to our room which were conveniently opposite each other. Jason got to the elevator first pushing the button before Alexis and I could jump inside forcing us to take the stairs, five floors up!

"He really is as bad as the kids" Caitlyn grumbled shaking her head as the elevator doors closed leaving a group of people behind. I heard Nate groan something but couldn't make it out as Alexis and I raced for the stairs. We arrived panting and giggling to our floor just in time to see Jason slam his door shut and the other adults exit the elevator. We both showered and changed into our pyjamas ready for bed, considering how much we had done that day we should have been passed out already. However we found ourselves extremely awake and giggly. It felt really good to hang out with another girl my age, I hadn't realised how much I had missed it. Alexis and I spent the remaining hours of darkness being total girls, fulfilling every single slumber party stereotype that exists. We started off by braiding each others hair and eating chocolate, talking about anything and everything we could think of, boys, music, school, boys, clothes, stories from when we were little, our favourite things and boys.

I started to tease Alexis about Noah, pointing out he had a crush on her. In return she hit me with her pillow beginning a pillow fight involving a lot of squealing which was silenced by mom knocking on our door.

"Girls please try to keep the noise down" she urged with a small smile on her lips. In an effort to be quieter we resorted to a game of truth or dare resulting in a very early morning wake up call for Noah which he really didn't appreciate, and a bruise on my knee where I had hit the coffee table while riding my scooter blindfolded. After checking our emails on my laptop Alexis insisted I create a Twitter account so that I can talk to her more, to be funny we searched my name on the site, pulling up a bunch of posts about people who had seen the tour.

"Hey look there's a picture on this one" Alexis cried clicking on the link. A pop up appeared on the screen with a photo of me on stage from that nights show because you could faintly see the pen marks on my arms. Under the photo several people had posted comments.

#1musicfan 'Aw she is really pretty…is she as good on stage as her parents?' just below that comment was one from the author.

prettyinpink 'Yes! She only played guitar with her band but then she came on and sang with Shane. : )'

"Wow that's really nice" I gushed surprised to read that a few others had left compliments about me after the author.

"You should post a reply, they'll freak…I mean I would if a singer replied to a comment I had about them" Alexis giggled snapping an orange candy snake in half and sticking both ends in her mouth. I shrugged selected the authors comment and hit reply.

TheRealCharlieGray 'Thanks! Cool photo. Glad you liked the show : )'

Next on our sleep over agenda was singing along to Alexis's ipod which earned us a visit from dad.

"Girls, it's almost five am time for bed" he growled tiredly threatening to wake us up really early. He remained in the doorway until we were both in our own beds and the lights were out. After a little more talking Alexis and I finally drifted off to sleep. Alexis and I were awoken at eight the next morning for breakfast. I plainly refused to get out of bed lying comfortably with only one eye open in case someone decided to force me out of bed. Alexis dragged herself up and stumbled out of bed with her eyes still closed.

"I…need…sleep" she groaned falling back onto her bed, her blonde hair falling in tangled cobwebs across her face.

"Mmm humph" I mumbled into my pillow agreeing with her. What seemed like twenty minutes later just as I had slipped into unconsciousness once more Randy came in literally pulling me from the bed. It isn't the first time; there have been a few days on tour when I have not wanted to get up. I am not a morning person at all.

"Time to get up ladies" Randy came in pulling away the sheets and pillows tossing them to the floor, Alexis let out a squeal and got out of bed. I just let out a whine and tried to block him out.

"Get up now Charlie" Randy ordered grabbing my arm and tugging me to the edge of the bed then forced me to my feet. I lazily tried to walk towards the bathroom to make myself look presentable enough for breakfast downstairs in the restaurant.

"Nope no time for that" Randy said placing one of his big hands on my shoulder and changing my direction towards the hallway. Everyone was already halfway through breakfast when we arrived; surprisingly I was the only one in my pyjamas. Somehow with out me noticing Alexis had changed.

"Did you girls have fun last night?" Caitlyn asked with a smirk on her face. We both nodded sleepily.

"We all have plans for today, so you girls can do whatever you wish" Dad said sounding annoyingly smiley. I shoved a spoonful of scrambled eggs into my mouth, not really paying attention.

"Except sleep, have fun and behave for Randy" Mom said sweetly kissing my head as they all got up and left the table. After breakfast I changed into a light cotton floral print dress and slipped on my white flip flops, before we headed out to. During breakfast Alexis and I had decided to go shopping. Our first stop was Starbucks for iced coffees to wake ourselves up. We were mostly just window shopping not really seeing to anything I wanted to buy. We were receiving a few weird looks from other shoppers; I am guessing it was because Randy was following us around. Alexis completely freaked out when we were looking at cd's, in Wal-Mart and she came across our album.

"Ahhhh It's your record!" she shrieked loudly. I giggled at her excitement and although I thought it was a really cool thing that our record was in the store, I had seen it before and had more time to get over it. Alexis had a copy of our cd because I had sent it to her, before it was officially released.

"Haven't you seen it in stores yet?" I asked looking over some other new albums. She shook her head continued admiring the record in her hands.

"Your friend's in this band?" I wasn't paying attention to what Alexis was doing as I was facing away from her, so when a nearby male voice asked this question disbelievingly I was a little startled. I turned to look at Alexis and the boy, he looked a little older than us and was wearing an employee t-shirt.

"Yeah Charlie" Alexis said proudly pointing me out on the album cover. From the corner of my eye I saw Randy's head perk up. He was standing a few metres away trying to give us space.

"Did you say something Lexi?" I asked taking a step closer to her. Alexis smiled and the green eyes of the boy next to her looked me up and down.

"I was just showing off your record" she grinned at me with a wink. I rolled my brown eyes playfully at her.

"You're pulling my leg" the boy scoffed picking up another copy of the album and holding it out as if to compare the tiny picture to me. I watched an amused smile on my face as he squinted and scrunched up his nose trying to make the connection.

"Come on Lexi, let's go look at clothes" I said placing a hand on her elbow hoping to direct her away. I took just one step before the boy called for us to wait a minute.

"This is seriously you?" He asked giving the record the shake. His posture and tone suggested he didn't believe it to be true. I wasn't about to hang around and waste time convincing a stranger that I was in a real band and that in his hand he was holding a copy of our debut album. I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to speak when I heard Randy speak up from behind me.

"Everything alright, Miss Gray?" his voice strong and deep, holding the threatening edge to it that he saved for photographers and over obsessive Connect 3 fans. I placed a little more pressure on Alexis's arm and turned to walk away. She took the hint and turned to follow me.

"Everything is fine, Randy" I assured as we approached him and turned to leave the store. I allowed myself a quick glance behind me to the boy was staring wide eyed.

"I bet he believes you now, Alexis" I grinned linking our arms as she giggled in agreement. Amused by the whole event I grabbed my phone and posted a new twitter comment.

TheRealCharlieGray 'at Wal-Mart some guy doesn't believe I'm me'. While I was there I noticed that the author of last nights post had left me a reply.

prettyinpink 'OMG! I can't believe you commented, thank you! : D' I chuckled and showed Alexis who proudly sang 'I told you so' with a smirk on her face. We left the shops with three pairs of shoes, four pairs of cotton shorts, five shirts, one dress and a collection of sixteen bracelets between us. I have a feeling Randy was more than ready to leave. Arriving backstage Connect Three was already beginning sound check. The boys had also returned and were completely focused on the x-box. Caitlyn was asleep on the bus and mom was reading a novel in Connect Three's dressing room.

"Hi Mommy" I greeted her with a kiss and a big smile.

"Wow it looks like you two had fun" she grinned looking at our collection of shopping bags. We nodded and eagerly began to empty the bags to show her our purchases.

"Thank you Randy" Mom called as she spotted him passing the room.

To follow our fabulous day we had a reasonably good sound check, there were a few off notes but nothing drastic. As good as our pervious night show was though was how bad that night's show went. It was our worst ever! A missing guitar meant that there hadn't been time for any of our pre-show traditions. We had jumped straight on stage just seconds after it had been retrieved to avoid holding up the whole concert. Just a few beats into the first song I realised that my in-ears weren't working, something I should have checked before getting on stage. I mentally cursed myself for not doing that and desperately tried to keep in tune with the boys. The song sounded off and the whole band knew it. When the first song was over, I glanced into the wings, side stage and tapped my ear hoping someone watching would get the hint. Before the third song began I glanced across stage to see the tour's equipment manger swap Noah's guitar for another one, something that wasn't supposed to happen. These misshapes were throwing the whole band off I could feel our tension up and stage and I was sure it showed. I forced a plausible smile on my face and tried to keep focused but halfway through our next song Dylan suddenly turned around to face the back of the stage. I gave him a look as I saw him mouth a swear word, I tried not to panic knowing he was meant to be singing the second verse. Noah was quick and only one line passed before he took over singing until the chorus when Dylan had recovered. Through out the show I desperately attempted several times to point out I wasn't hearing what I was meant to be hearing, but I got no response. As final proof that tonight was not meant to be our night Noah took a tumble during our flips, clearly injuring his right hand. He played a little off after that and in between songs I caught him rubbing his wrist. I was thankful when our set ended running of stage and handing over my guitar at record speed. I obviously hadn't been the only one to see Noah's pain because one of the legally required paramedics we had organised to attend every show was waiting side stage to check him out. I felt ready to cry with how bad the show had gone and as a stage hand approached to remove my microphone and in-ears it turned to anger. I tore off the microphone and handed it to him marching over to one of the tech guys working the audio equipment. Connect Three had already taken to the stage and the rest of the band seemed to be gone.

"I didn't hear a thing out there" I snapped holding one of the earpieces out to explain my statement. The guy nodded.

"Yeah we know, we had some transmission troubles, had to swap two guitars over because the packs cut out and we lost three in-ears too" the guy explained unwrapping the cable from around me and unhooking the second bud from my ear.

"It will be all fixed in time for the next show" he promised. Feeling like I had just been dismissed I left him to his work and made my way to our dressing room. When I entered I slammed the door closed and let out a frustrated yell.

"That was awful!" I declared. Our entire band, including our back up band, mom and Ann were there.

"Shhh calm down sweetheart, these things happen not every concert will run smoothly" mom soothed brushing some of my hair aside and rubbing my arm.

"Did you see it?" I whined slumping on to one of the couches. The rest of the boys all looked just as upset and annoyed as I did. Dylan took a seat next to me, tugging his hands through his damp blonde hair.

"Hey what happened with you out there?" I asked softly giving him a nudge with my elbow.

"I forgot the words, completely blanked, thanks Noah" Dylan mumbled shaking his head. I reached over and took Dylan's hand comfortingly in mine. Noah nodded at Dylan accepting his thanks. His right hand was bandaged and Ann was holding an icepack against it. We were all still sulking quietly when Caitlyn came in.

"There will be no repeats of tonight, it wasn't your fault the tech guys are idiots" Caitlyn announced a big smile on her face.

"Caitlyn I thought you went to the bathroom! Nate is going to kill me; I was meant to keep you away from the stage" Mom scolded knowing Caitlyn had just been blasting the tech guys for screwing up our show. Caitlyn kept the triumphant smile on her face and squashed on to the couch sitting on Dylan's other side. I let a small giggle pass through my lips and once I started I couldn't stop. I could clearly picture Caitlyn with her protruding stomach yelling abuse at the tech boy's side stage, her face turning red with anger and her curly hair flaring out in a wild lion's mane. I could also imagine the scared faces of her victims, knowing full well that Caitlyn was a force to be reckoned with normally. But since discovering she was pregnant when you deal with Caitlyn you also get angry Nate, everyone on tour knew this and has been very cautious about pissing her off lately. My laughter seemed to trigger something because soon Seth and our keyboard player were laughing along too, finally ending with all the boys joining in. It was relieving to just laugh away our disastrous night.

TheRealCharlieGray 'we had some equipment issues tonight and the band is feeling down after a bad show'

That night we said goodbye to our families and Ann promising to call and email whenever we could. Then climbed on to the bus and left for our next location. I squished onto Dylan's bunk with him and watched a movie.

"Goodnight honey, don't feel too bad about tonight" Mom whispered kissing my cheek then moving to her own bunk to go to sleep. Mom is replacing Ann as 'tour mom' and Caitlyn is going to be touring with us for another week then she is going back to LA. I nodded and snuggled against Dylan.

The next morning I was reading through the encouraging responses to my most recent twitter post including one from Alexis.

SexyLexi 'Chin up Gorgeous!'  
"What ya doin?" Jason asked bounding into the seat beside me and staring intently over my shoulder.

"Just looking at stuff on the internet" I replied using the same stretched out sing song tone he had. An idea popped into my head at that moment.

"Hey Jason, do you know Ella's last name?" my uncle nodded slowly and cautiously eyeing me off like he was trying to analyse my motives. I kept my expression blank and innocent and just five minutes after surrendering her last name I had located her on Twitter and email address.

"Are you reading a book?" Dad asked astounded pausing to stare as he passed my bunk. I had gotten bored and pulled out one of the novels I would be study for English after summer. I shook my head.

"Nah, I'm just flipping the pages" I told him sarcastically. He let out a sigh of relief.

"Wow, you had me scared then for a minute" he joked dramatically and I rolled my eyes. I turned back to the book expecting him to walk away which he did about two steps before returning.

"So um really, why are you reading a book?" he asked resting his elbows on my bunk and leaning in to get a better look at the book.

"Cause Jason…" I started but was cut off by mom walking passed dad.

"Uncle Jason, and if she wants to read don't discourage her" she reminded me and scolded dad with a gentle slap on his shoulder.

"I don't want to read, Uncle Jason is chatting to some girl on my laptop" I called after her adding emphasis to uncle. Mom did a double take just like dad had and return to stand in front of me.

"Really?" she asked looking completely stunned. I nodded and tossed the book to the end of my bunk as Caitlyn and Nate joined us in the confined space.

"Jason is talking to a girl?" Nate confirmed his expression making me think I had just told them an elephant was driving the bus. I nodded and they all continued to stare expectantly at me.

"Who?" Caitlyn blurted out desperately wanting to know this piece of gossip.

"Ella" I shrugged as the groups eyes widened.


	10. Chapter 10

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Ten**

**AN: Hey Everyone!  
This chapter is a little longer than normal and a lot happens but I couldn't bring myself to make it into two short chapters.  
I want to dedicate this chapter to everyone effected by the Haiti earthquake and the 2009 Victorian bushfires (black saturday) it has been 1 year since the fires that are very close to my heart and which occured across most of my home state in Australia) I am sure most of you know about those terrible events.  
I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for your reviews they mean so much to me so please continue to write them.  
Princess Kay **

Woot! Today is the forth of July and we have the day off. Well sort of we can't exactly do anything because we are travelling. But we have a bus party planned anyway. We are going to stop somewhere this evening where I and the boys will be joining our back up band on their bus for the night, a band slumber party on a bus. I am super excited. More exciting news my Twitter account has gained an amazing 700 followers! I still can't believe it. It's motivated me to post heaps more and I pretty much post a comment every hour at the moment. Alexis is my biggest follower, but she is my best friend I would want her to be. Right now we are eating frosting, we were icing a cake to look like the American flag but it didn't really come out too well. The strips are all different thicknesses and the blue square is more of a blue blob.

"This is good" Seth grinned sticking another spoonful of sugary white topping into his mouth. We all responded with mmm's of agreement, licking our own spoons. Dylan leaned in close to me and dotted my cheek with red frosting. My eyes widened and my mouth opened ready to complain when his lips pressed against that exact spot. I closed my mouth suddenly lost for words. I felt his lips part into a smile against my cheek and his tongue removed the frosting. I caught my breath for a second at the action my face colouring a light pink realising Noah, Seth and Jason were watching. Amused smirks appeared on the boys faces.

"Um lets clean up" I mumbled grabbing my spoon and standing up from the table. Dylan followed me the three steps to the sink to dispose of our spoons. His arms wound around my waist and his lips pressed sweetly against the back of my neck.

"Must you get all touchy while everyone is watching?" I teased with a dramatic sigh.

"We could go hide in your bunk if you prefer?" he teased back kissing my neck again.

"No you won't" Dad growled from behind us. I felt Dylan flinch slightly in surprise and pull away. We both turned to face dad.

"We were just joking daddy" I assured him my tone as sugary as the frosting. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes were a shade darker than normal.

"Leave them alone Shane" Mom ordered pushing passed him, a gentle brush of her arm against his and his eyes lightened, his posture relaxing. Mom glanced at the table of on lookers who were pretending to not have been snacking on the left over frosting. A scolding frown formed on her lips but her eyes shone with hidden laughter.

"Have you boys been eating the frosting?" she demanded her tone forceful and parent like. She had informed us all when we started that no one was to eat any, because we would be having lunch soon and it would ruin our appetite. Their eyes all widened just a little and they shook their heads adamantly, muttering a mixture of negative responses.

"Ah huh, and your lips would be blue why Jason?" Nate asked from the couch. The boys glanced around in desperate search of an answer.

"The cold?" Jason suggested his comment sounding very much like a questions. I had to place a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing; Dylan pushed his face into my shoulder hiding his expression.

"It's July…you wanna try that again?" Dad questioned with a large smirk. Knowing they were busted the three boys all began to talk at once trying to lay blame on each other and defend themselves.

"Charlie and Dylan were eating it too!" Jason sulked pointing a finger at us accusingly after Caitlyn had told them to all shut up. The buses gathered at a park for lunch, where the whole crew got together for hotdogs, Hamburgers and our cake. A baseball rematch was in order with Nate's team successfully defending their champion's title without cheating this time. There were no hard feelings as the day began to turn to night and a water fight broke out. Trust Jason to have a suitcase filled with super soakers at the ready, not to mention the several hundred water balloons he had managed to stash on the bus as well. At around seven, mom handed me some money granting me and the boy's permission to walk to the nearest supermarket just a block away and gather the required snacks to keep us going for the rest of the night. Arriving at the store a race broke out, we divided the list and ourselves evenly the first team through the check out with all required items were the winners. The teams consisted of Noah, Seth, Our keyboardist and our Bass guitarist in team one, team two was, Dylan, Jason, our remaining band member and I. Of course what competition would be fair without a referee that role filled by Carl.

"On your marks…get set…" Carl began as we stood outside the store, Seth was braced ready to steer a cart carrying Noah inside, I was perched upon Jason's back and the others were all crouched down in the starting position ready to sprint.

"GO!" Carl cried and we pushed passed each other splitting to attack our listed sections of the supermarket. We were making quiet a lot of nose as we gallivanted through the store snatching up multiple bags of chips and cans of red bull.

"Only one thing left!" Jason announced gleefully from an aisle not too far away we heard Noah shout that they had the last one. In a split second decision Jason ran to the check out to begin purchasing our items while the rest of us hunted down the remaining one in hopes of making a come back. Finally with two jars of peanut butter expertly tossed from one team member to another in a relay we raced to the check out, finishing just seconds behind team one. The whole event had been rather dramatic and highly entertaining. I really wish it had been caught on video. Returning to the park we scrambled on to our bus for the night to hide our officially named pirate's bootie.

One large tub of vanilla ice cream, two bags of m & m's, an assortment of candy, three bags of pop corn, one bag of cheese Doritos, several cans of red bull and diet cola, two jars of peanut butter and a bottle of chocolate ice cream topping.

There had been several other people at the park all day but they had left us alone, most likely due to our numbers I can imagine that a group of more than fifty is pretty intimidating. More and more people congregated as the sky darkened preparing for a promised fireworks display; it seemed the whole town had shown up. As we settled down on the grass awaiting the pyrotechnic show a few game people approached for photos and autographs mostly of mom and Connect Three. The show was amazingly beautiful, vibrant colours lit up the black sky forming sparkling squiggly patterns. Dylan continued his cuddly mood his fingers tracing patterns across every inch of exposed skin during the display. The group packed up and retreated to the buses immediately afterwards most I am sure were headed straight for bed. A chaotic game of cranium kept our bus awake and busy aided by ice cream sundaes, caffeinated drinks and the rest of our pirate's bootie.

"Charades is no talking!" I protested as Dylan becoming frustrated with his teams random and incorrect guesses attempted to assist them by yelling out 'no'.

"Disqualified" Seth called agreeing with me. The argument played out for a little while till Noah who was eating pop corn accidently released his handful at Seth during his rebuttal. Instead of starting a food fight however the group laughed the argument off, realising we no longer remembered whose turn it was we admitted to a draw.

The next morning I awoke in Dylan's arms the two of us must have passed out on the couch the previous night. Our keyboardist was on the floor his head lying in a puddle of crushed cheese Doritos. The stillness told me two things, one everyone else was asleep, two we had reached our destination because the bus had stopped. The bus resembled the mess usually seen in teen movies, you know the ones where the parents go away for the weekend and the kids throw a raging house party with heaps of people, completely trashing the house? Yeah that kind of thing, empty cans were scattered everywhere. Miscellaneous board game components covered the table and surrounding floor. Craning my neck I could see Noah asleep under the table using the twister mat as a blanket and a big empty upside down pop corn bowl as a pillow. Standing up I looked through the bus to the back room where Seth and the others were asleep on the big couch a large pile of lollies and cards on the floor in the centre of them. Clearly they had fallen asleep during their game of poker; they had been using the lollies as betting chips. It was funny that with twelve bunks to choose from none of the seven of us had used them.

Days passed and the tour progressed the next big event in my life came just a week after Caitlyn had returned to Los Angeles. I awoke in a hotel room on our first day off since the forth of July. Rolling over lazily I spotted a green flower stem on the pillow next to me. Sitting up, my fingers grasped the end drawing the flower close to me. To my surprise I discovered the actual flower to be made from red tin foil, on closer inspection I found that the flower its self was a chocolate. Resting under the rose was a folder letter.

_Good Morning Beautiful, _

_How are you this morning? _

_Twelve months ago today, I asked you to be my girlfriend. _

_Wow so much has changed but you and I are still together an achievement I think should be celebrated. _

_When you are ready come and meet me. _

_I love you._

_Dylan xoxo _

My heart beat a little faster and my stomach flip flopped in excitement and joy at his words. I hurried to get ready showering and changing as quickly as I could. Seeing as today was special I decided to take a little extra care in my appearance. I styled my hair into two neat braids and painted my face with a little natural coloured make up. I dressed in a short demin skirt, tight fitting pink tank top and my thin white cardigan. The final touch was a pair of white sandals with a small heel. Stepping out of my bedroom into the main hotel room I found all the boys except Dylan. I moved swiftly to the room I knew Dylan had slept in and prepared to knock on the door.

"He's not there" Seth called with a mouthful of toast.

"Oh…do you know where he is?" I asked feeling slightly confused about where I was meeting Dylan. Seth shrugged and dad patted the seat next to him.

"Where ever you plan on going it can wait till after you have eaten breakfast" he stated pulling out the chair for me. I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to whine.

"Sit…your mother would kill me if I let you go before eating" he ordered, I frowned but took the offered seat. Mom had left the night before to visit an old friend and would be back this afternoon. After speedily stuffing a slice of jelly toast down my throat I jumped from my chair and made to leave.

"Wait" Nate stopped me this time placing a hand on my shoulder and sitting me back down. He handed me another folded piece of paper. As I unfolded it butterflies took flight in my stomach.

_The fountain in the lobby. _

Just five words that's all it said.

"Why are you, all dressed up and in a rush anyway?" dad asked as I shoved the note into my pink clutch with the first one. I stood up once more and hugged Nate in a moment of excitement.

"Dylan has something planned, today is one year since we started dating" I replied joyously, hugging dad too than practically skipping to the door.

"Bye!" I yelled slamming the door closed.

Dylan was standing in front of the water fountain in the lobby dressed in tan kakis with a sky blue t-shirt and an unbuttoned white shirt over the top. As he took my hand in his twisting our fingers together and brushing his lips swiftly against mine I knew today was going to be amazing.

"Come on, we have places to be" he smiled leading me outside Carl was standing outside next to a car I didn't recognise, he tossed Dylan the keys and winked at us.

"Shane knows nothing" he stated raising his hands, denying all involvement. Dylan grinned and thanked him before jumping into the drivers' seat excitedly. I giggled at his enthusiasm and climbed into the passenger seat, pulling the seatbelt across my chest. It was about a twenty minute drive of comfortable silence before Dylan pulled into a car park. I got out of the car at what appeared to be a big warehouse, I tried not to pull a face as Dylan's hand found mine again and he directed me towards a door. To my surprise we were at a roller skating rink, once our skates were on Dylan kept up a constant contact with my body at all times, either by holding my hand, waist or resting his hand on my lower back. Every now and again I received a random light kiss. It was sweet it is so rare we get time alone with anyone at the moment with us being on tour and Dylan had clearly gone to a lot of effort to make today really special. Skating around the rink to familiar pop songs we blended in with all the other families and teenagers. I was playfully singing along to one of my favourite songs skating backwards to face Dylan who was smiling at me when the song ended and another familiar tune began. I absently sang along to that too before I truly recognised the song. I stopped and stared a Dylan who started laughing.

"You didn't even recognise that did you?" he teased hugging me. I shook my head.

"I think I've heard it too many times" I giggled in disbelieve that I hadn't even recognised our own song. After a few hours of exercising our leg muscles and inducing dizziness from only moving in a clockwise circle we took off our skates and left.

Our next stop was lunch. Rather than sitting down at a restaurant we opted for subway sandwiches and two fruit smoothies, taking a walk to a near by park to enjoy our lunch under a tree. Dylan sat with his back leaning against the tree and I sat opposite him on a nice patch of grass. The weather today was on the warmer scale and during lunch discussions we concluded we would have to go swimming at the hotel pool when we returned. After eating we laid down on our backs staring up at the blue sky and just relaxing. Goosebumps formed along my arm as Dylan's fingertips danced across the skin there, up towards my shoulder then across to my neck where his hand cupped my cheek and brought my face up to meet his in a kiss. Even with my eyes closed I knew Dylan was leaning over me, I could feel the light pressure of his torso above me, the majority of his weight balanced on his free arm. As we parted for breath Dylan's hand released my face moving it to my hip. His lips moved down to my neck, biting and sucking on the sensitive skin and leaving a nice purple bruise behind. Normally I would have gotten mad but today I didn't care, I was too happy to care today. His tongue soothed the tender skin before returning to my mouth.

"I love you" I told him breathlessly as we parted again, both breathing hard my eyes glued to his crystal blue ones.

"I love you more" he insisted kissing my forehead sweetly, I shook my head determinately.

"I'll love you forever" I replied with a small giggle, my competitive nature pleased I had one upped him.

"I'll love you forever too, baby" Dylan chuckled leaning down for one last kiss before we headed back to the hotel.

"Hi Mommy, how was your trip?" I greeted happily walking into mom and dad's bedroom at the hotel. They were lying on the bed wrapped in each others arms, watching a movie.

"It was good, sounds like you had a good day" she smirked turning down the volume as I nodded and jumped onto the bed next to dad.

"Yes it was perfect, look what Dylan got me" I gushed, showing off a silver necklace with a love heart shaped pendant that was around my neck. I let out a dramatic sigh and fell backwards on the bed so I was lying down. I clenched my eyes tightly shut.

"This is going to sound silly and you're going to think that I don't know what I'm talking about, that I'm too young…" I rambled softly, folding my arms over my stomach and keeping my eyes closed. Shutting my eyes has become a habit of mine when I am afraid of someone's reaction to my confessions. Mom reacted in a way which had become typical of her, gently combing through my hair with her fingers.

"Try us?" she suggested encouraging me to go on.

"I really love him" I whispered, waiting quietly without opening my eyes for some response.

"We don't think its silly Charlie; it would be hypocritical of us we were your age when we met, I mean I was pregnant with you at your age" Mom declared causing me to open my eyes and hug her. I glanced over at dad absolutely positive he would find something to protest about. He didn't though he just shrugged and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm happy for you princess… just don't come and tell me you're pregnant or that you're getting married until you're at least thirty" he teased digging his fingers into my ticklish spot.

"I do not want to be a grandfather before I'm fifty" he kept going tickling me harder; I curled up into a ball trying to cover my ticklish areas.

"That won't happen daddy" I spat out trying to move away from his reach.

"Sure" he muttered teasingly pulling me back towards him and tugging down the collar of my shirt to reveal Dylan's mark. I blushed hard and rapidly searched my brain for an excuse.

"Leave the girl alone Shane" Mom reprimanded shoving him playfully.

It appears when ever things are going good in my life something not so good usually follows.

Back on the bus a few days later, we were all talking before bed, when I ducked into the bathroom. I rubbed my hands together watching the soap suds form between my fingers, as I turned the tap on my ring slid off my finger falling to the ground with a clatter. My heart skipped a beat in fear of loosing it and I scrambled to the ground to find it. Thankfully it was resting on the tiles next to the bin. Rising to my feet I spotted something in the bin that caused me to panic all over again. I took in a sharp shocked breath and removed the item from the bin stuffing it quickly into the pocket of my jeans. I rinsed the soap from my hands almost in a trance my mind turning over several scenarios. I unlocked the door and returning to the kitchen area.

"Charlie, are you alright?" Dylan asked my eyes caught his not really taking in what he had said.

"Baby girl, you look a little pale, are feeling sick?" Dad held out his arm for me to come over and give him a hug. I shook my head to clear it.

"No I'm fine… Um mom can I talk to you for a minute?" I mumbled ignoring the concerned looks and staring forcefully at my mother hoping she would get the urgency. It was clear no one believed I was fine.

"You know you can tell me anything right?" dad frowned; I nodded but sent mom another look telling her to follow me to the back of the bus. Mom stood up to accompany me sending dad a smile telling him if it was serious she would tell him.

I shut the curtain to the bunks once we were at the back of the bus and turned on the television in case anyone was trying to eavesdrop. Mom looked a little worried about my actions. I swallowed hard not sure how to go about this. I looked down feeling guilty like maybe this was wrong then I pulled the item out of my pocket holding it wordlessly out to her. Mom's eyes widened.

"I don't think it was very smart to leave this in the bathroom bin, when we share a bus with so many boys" I muttered, her hand flew to cover her mouth and she sat down on the couch behind her.

"I am assuming no one knows?" I said softly she nodded.

"I promise not to tell anyone, I'll hide it with my stuff, no one will find it then" I smiled comfortingly taking the item back off her. She nodded again leaning in and pulling me into a tight hug. Although she said nothing I knew she was thanking me. "By the way, I think it's really cool" I grinned. When she let go I turned off the television and stood to leave. Mom took a calming breath, composing herself.

Pulling open the curtain I stuffed the item back into my back pocket and jumped up into my bunk to subtly hide it. When I returned to the front of the bus Dylan's arms wound around my waist pulling me down to sit on his lap.

"Ok now I wanna know what's going on, I'm worried about you" he breathed in my ear. Placing a sweet kiss there, I squirmed slightly as his warm breath tickled my neck.

"You have nothing to worry about, I am fine really" I protested trying to pull away however Dylan wasn't buying it and tightened his grip. He sighed loudly bringing his lips back to my ear.

"The truth" he growled softly sounding hurt that I was lying to him. Hearing his tone I instantly felt guilty so I twisted so I was facing him, my legs pressed on either side of his and his hands resting on the small of my back holding me in place. I rested my forehead against his, and then leaned forward to hug him in way of an apology.

"Mom is the one who's sick" I whispered my half lie so only he could hear. It wasn't the real reason. No there was a much bigger reason. One that only stayed secret for about three days.

"Charlotte Marie Gray" my father shouted sounding angrier than I had ever heard him before. I was playing Xbox with the boys in our dressing room, during free time. I ran a mental checklist, I haven't played any pranks, my bunk is clean, and I haven't been rude to anyone. Dad appeared at the door the look on his face sending all three of my band mates running.

"No you stay" he ordered grabbing Dylan by the shirt and pushing him back down on to the couch next to me. I was horrified and Dylan looked just as stunned.

"We need to talk" he growled, I flinched as he slammed the door shut angrily; dad was scaring me he was pacing and practically tearing his hair out.

"What's going on?" I whispered my voice reflecting my confusion and fear.

"You know exactly what's going on" Dad fumed turning to face me, his eyes looked upset rather than angry. Dylan sent me a confused look, asking me to explain. All I could do was shrug. Nate entered the room looking like he had been running a marathon.

"Shane, I need you to calm down act like an adult and tell me what is going on" he puffed, pleading desperately with my father. I was seriously freaked out, He wasn't even this mad when he learned mom had kept me a secret from him. Dad sat down opposite me shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Charlie I would like it if you could explain this to me" dad said with gritted teeth dropping a familiar item onto the table. My eyes widened and I swallowed hard knowing what he was thinking. Nate's hand shifted quickly to clutch the doorhandle tightly closed, I could see his knuckles turning white. Dylan cussed under his breath, his blue eyes displaying how freaked out he was. His hands ran through his blonde hair and he exhaled loudly, trying to wrap his head around everything. I looked down avoiding his gaze while I tried to work out a way around this, I can't let them think it belongs to me but I promised mom I wouldn't tell anyone. I was in deep trouble, then an idea.

"What were you doing going through my stuff!" I accused in desperation hoping to distract him. Dylan almost choked jolting forward, taking my accusation as a guilty plea.

"Can someone explain what is going on?" Nate complained sounding oddly composed, despite his expression. Dad let out another loud breath.

"I found a pregnancy test in Charlies bunk, and I have every right to go through your things if you are hiding stuff like this from me!" dad lost all composure on the last bit, I heard Nate gasp in shock. I winced as his voice rose recoiling back into the chair.

"Ok we are all going to stay calm about this" Nate ordered, his voice sounded a little flustered. I twisted the silver ring on my left finger, willing an idea, a solution to my problem. I hated knowing that they were disappointed in me even though I was innocent of the accused crime. Fear and anxiousness was quickly replaced with anger, why were they so quick to assume the worst of me? I scowled raising my gaze to meet my fathers.

"It's not mine" I articulated each word clearly. Dylan looked a little relieved; Dad groaned rolling his eyes in disbelief.

"Don't even try and pull that one, who else's could it be" I wanted to cry right there. I drew my knees up to my chest defensively hugging my legs tightly. Nate completely ignored dad's comment.

"Charlie you need to talk to us breaking your promise, lying this doesn't sound like you, what is going on?" he asked his voice a little shaky. A single tear leaked out of my eye. Dylan's hand came to rest on my shoulder but I pulled away knowing that he too had thought the test belonged to me, which translates to he thinks I would cheat on him. I think that hurt the most, none of them seemed to trust me.

"I'm not saying another word without Mom" I sobbed more tears joining the first. All three of them sighed; Dylan stood up and walked across the room to get away from me.

"Fine, I think she would love to hear this" dad left the room in a huff. Nate said nothing Dylan was watching me trying to read my expression.

"It's not what you think, I'm your girlfriend you should know me well enough to know that I would never break my promise, and you should trust that I wouldn't cheat on you" I cried out to him never once making eye contact.

"Tell me what it is then Charlie" Mom pushed as her, dad and Jason appeared at the door. She was as always quick to assess a situation looked at each of us then the stick on the table; she hurried over and embraced me.

"Oh I am so sorry sweetheart" she apologised tears welling on her eyes too; I could feel her swallow hard then pull away.

"Shane, please sit down, boys could you leave the room for a minute?" Mom spoke calmly and clearly rising to her feet, I stood to leave also but she reached out for my hand, the look on her face almost begging me to stay. She looked really nervous and scared, reminding me that she hadn't actually done this before. Nate the intellectual one connected the dots instantly, his eyes sparkled and a small smirked formed on his lips. He nodded his head towards the door directing Dylan and Jason from the room, patting dad's shoulder before he left. It is funny to think that while dad is older and so am I, Nate with his unborn child is more experienced in this area.

"I didn't want you to find out like this" Mom muttered her eyes looking everywhere but at dad.

"The test isn't Charlie's she found it and promised to keep it safe until I could figure out a way to tell you" She blurted out once her eyes caught his. Dad sat there silenced for a moment, his mouth slightly open in shock. Mom looked like she would chew her bottom lip off if dad didn't make some sort of response soon.

"Dad" I called out waking him up from his little dream.

"Wow, really?" he asked a hopeful smile replacing the stunned look. Mom grinned in relief, and nodded. Dad pulled his fingers through his hair then stood up and grabbed mom in a big bear hug.

"So you're happy, this is good?" Mom confirmed once she had been released. Dad's mood was a complete one eighty of what it had been ten minutes ago.

"Good? This is amazing!" he cried joyously, a few more tears fell from my eyes. I was really happy but I had known for a few days now that I was getting a baby brother or sister. Right now I was feeling pretty crushed about what had just happened.

"Hey, I am so sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions" Dad whispered dropping to his knees in front of me and hugging me.

"It's ok you weren't the only one" I sobbed, unable to hold it back anymore. Dad rubbed my back.

"Yeah, but it's my fault" he mumbled regretfully. Mom sat down next to me on the couch.

"It's going to be alright, Dylan loves you just as much as you love him, you will sort it out" Mom reassured me. A knock at the door brought, Caitlyn, Nate and Jason tearing into the room. Mom rolled her eyes.

"Nothing stays secret on tour, too many confined spaces" she grumbled as they all stared at her eagerly waiting for her to tell them what they already suspected. I rolled my eyes and let dad excitedly share the news with our family while I snuck out to find my band. Dylan was sulking sitting on a beanbag in another room almost in tears. Noah and Seth where there as well but they were staying well away from Dylan.

"Mom's the one who's pregnant" I said bluntly crossing my arms and staring grumpily down at my 'boyfriend'. His face softened and after thinking about it for a few seconds he looked really guilty too, just like dad had. Noah and Seth were watching closely their eyes bugging out in realisation at my statement and their heads turning from Dylan to me like they were watching a tennis match. Dylan stood up and stared down at his feet.

"Think you could forgive me?" he asked his voice thick with emotion. I released a loud breath.

"Maybe, I mean dad didn't help the situation but you still didn't trust me" I said stonily, Dylan's eyes met mine and I could see that he felt bad. I sighed getting mad with myself because I knew there was no way I could stay mad at him. 'Damn it! Why do I have to love him so much' I groaned in my head.

"You're forgiven" I whispered.


	11. Chapter 11

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Eleven**

**AN: Oh My Gosh! I am SO sorry it has taken me so long to update this!  
I feel really bad because I dont even think i am really happy with how it turned out.  
I can't apologise enough I know how annoying it is when an author doesnt update.  
Just know that I do have a reason for not updating but it is a bit personal to be shared out on the internet.  
really sorry.  
Princess Kay **

Wow it has been a long time since I wrote in my notebook…Most likely because I lost you. You see after returning from tour everything was sort of thrown into suitcases and tubs to get it off the bus and back home, where I am ashamed to say it stayed in a pile unless urgently needed. Then we moved house and everything went in boxes and the one you were in became lost in mass of boxes, only to be found this morning. Re-reading my last entry it appears I haven't used you in roughly two months. So before I can go into what is happening right now I think it is important I catch you up first.

Ok so Mom is pregnant and dad had just had a fit thinking it was me!

Returning to the bus after that night's show it was easy to see how dad had come across the pregnancy test. It appeared a hurricane had hit my bunk and most of the bus for that matter. Pillows and bedding blocked the path between the bunks; various other personal items were also thrown carelessly around the floor. Three bunks were stripped completed bear dads, moms and mine.

"Woah, dad what did you do?" I gasped freezing just inside the door of the bus. I heard mom suck in a sharp surprised breath right behind me.

"Shane!" she exclaimed both of us whirling around to face him. Nate, Jason and the other boys were right behind him. Dads gaze dropped to his feet guiltily like a small child who had just been caught sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar. Nate didn't look much better. Mom stepped aside pulling me back with her.

"The two of you have fifteen minutes to right this" she ordered pointing towards the mess. Dad and Nate scrambled to clean up the bus while mom gave me a gentle push off. As soon as the door closed she burst out in a fit of childish giggles.

"Mom what's going on?" I asked the boys all nodded in confused agreement. Mom took a deep breath to recover from her laughter, her hands fiddling around in her handbag. It took a few minutes but then she finally pulled out what she was looking for, a shiny gold band.

"Found this in the hotel bathroom this morning, after your father left" she smirked barely able to get the words out as she started laughing again. I took the ring from her my dark eyes widening in amusement. Dad had lost his wedding ring than ransacked the bus looking for it, come across the pregnancy test, freaked out and forgotten about his search.

"Can I?" I questioned nodding towards the door of the bus. Mom continued to chuckle.

"Yeah go put him out of his misery?" she choked out the words leaning strongly against Jason for support, she was struggling to stand she was laughing so hard. I took a deep breath and plastered a neutral expression on my face, throwing the door open and waving for the others to follow me. Dad and Nate had almost finished cleaning up, returning a few last pillows to their appropriate bunks. I walked passed them heading towards my bed pausing in front of my father.

"You know all of today's drama could have been avoided if you just kept better track of your belongings" I taunted in a sing song voice then climbed into my bunk still holding the ring tightly in my left hand, the cool metal pressing against the inside of my palm. Dad and Nate shared a look, brown eyes meeting their signature Gray family duplicates.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" dad opted to play dumb seeing mom enter the bus looking surprisingly calm after her giggle fit outside.

"Oh really...so I guess you aren't the one who lost this?" I teased sliding the ring onto my pinkie finger and giving it a satisfying spin. Dad's eyes latched onto the sight of the gold band glistening as it caught the light.

"No way" Nate muttered shaking his head in disbelief. Dad was quick to snatch the ring off of me and return it to its rightful place.

"Where on earth did you find it?" he demanded clearly relieved to have it back and shocked to see I had it.

"I didn't, mom did" I announced proudly dad's face paled slightly as he slowly turned to face mom who was trying very hard to look angry, but failing miserably. She walked over to dad and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"That was entertaining…next time just tell me" she giggled clapping him in the back and high fiving me on her way to her bunk.

"Let's hope number two is a boy…because you can use all, the backup you can get" Nate teased his older brother shaking his head in amusement.

"If it's a girl…you're in real trouble" Seth agreed soberly.

"Five bucks says it's a girl" Dylan called out continuing the teasing.

"I'll take that" Nate replied always up for a competition.

Our final week of tour was insane we had a lot of extra media attention due to the announcement of the two new additions to the Gray family. It was impossible to keep Caitlyn's pregnancy a secret any longer, she was six months by that stage and the record company decided to release a single press statement about both pregnancies at once.

On the second last day of tour I was sitting on Dylan's lap in our dressing room throwing mints up into the air and catching them in my mouth, occasionally tossing one across to Noah who was sitting on the couch opposite us. We were just chilling out all relaxed and calm. Connect Three were getting ready for their sound check in 20 minutes and mom was napping on the floor in the bathroom, a place she had spent a lot of time in lately. I mean I know that morning sickness doesn't necessarily occur exclusively in the mornings but this is 24/7 sickness! Dad has been a little worried that she wasn't managing to keep any food down, a few days ago so a doctor came out to our hotel to check her out; he said she was ok and that it should pass.

Anyway back to the mint eating.

"Careful doing that" Dad had just walked across the room after sneaking into the bathroom to check on mom. I ignored him and tossed another mint high into the air and watching as it fell right into my open mouth, I crunched my teeth together hard to trap the mint between my back teeth. Unfortunately at that moment a sharp clink sound resonated through the room, heard because they all turned to me. I clamped my mouth shut around the candy as I felt a stab of pain shoot through one tooth and up to my jaw.

"Ow" Noah said dully in sympathy clearly knowing that a sound like that had to hurt. I didn't say a word, stewing in the irony that dad had just warned me. Dylan rubbed my arm leaning in closer to me to try and see my face.

"You alright?" he asked as dad came back over to me. Dad knelt on the floor in front of me and held my chin in his right hand.

"Open up" he commanded, his expression was father like telling me to do as I was asked, but his eyes held a twinkle telling me he found it amusing that he had been right. I grudgingly opened my mouth sliding the mint under my tongue. Dad tilted my head back and his thumb pulled down my lower lip to see more clearly. I winced as his finger tapped the sore tooth.

"Well done, looks like you're going to the dentist" he chuckled releasing my face, I felt the colour drain from my face and in a reflex I started shaking my head.

"It doesn't hurt" I insisted but scrunched up my face in pain as I said it, realising instantly that it was useless arguing I lent back against Dylan already shaking. "Are you scared of the dentist?" Dylan questioned incredulously, dad who had pulled out his phone to try and arrange for me to see a dentist froze, his eyes focused on me. I didn't say a word as Dylan's arms tightened around me comfortingly. Nate came jogging in at that moment looking for dad so they could start sound check. He took one glance at me and suggested I lie down.

"You look like you're going to pass out, Seth go get the medic" he ordered gently assisting me to lie down on the couch; Nate is going to make a great dad he has this natural instinct. I didn't have the brain capacity at that moment to argue with him. His hand automatically rested on my forehead checking my temperature, while Seth took off in a hurry.

"Who's going to pass out?" mom mumbled worriedly stumbling half asleep into the dressing room. I was now lying on the couch shaking, my legs spread across Dylan's lap. I could hear my heart in my ears and I was positive I was breathing funny. Dad was staring at me his phone half way to his ear, unmoving like someone had pressed pause.

"Shane?" mom called out to him, desperate to know what was going on. This seemed to trigger the play button because dad put his phone down and placed a hand on Nate's shoulder pushing him away. He sat down at my side.

"It's ok Charlie, the dentist doesn't hurt" dad assured me although I knew it was a lie. I have had a huge fear of the dentist have ever since I was a little kid. I understand it is slightly irrational to fear the dentist as much as I do but the idea of going makes me feel sick. My hands were all sweaty and my stomach was doing somersaults. I distantly heard mom mutter a swear word.

"What have you done, sweetheart?" she asked leaning over the back of the couch, I opened my mouth revealing my sore tooth. Mom frowned taking my hand.

"Well you don't do things by half do you Charlie? There's no way around it you will have to go to the dentist darling" she told me honestly.

"Alright I'll take her, you boys get to sound check" mom arranged as Jason came down looking for his brothers who were now late for sound check. Dad shook his head.

"You're not well and I can miss one sound check, I'll take her" he helped me to my feet as Seth and the medic arrived too. The medic took a look at my tooth and gave me some Tylenol for the pain.

Dad stayed with me for the entire two hours we spent at the dental hospital; I had a very nasty cavity and they had to give me an injection. Dad held my hand the whole time; I spent most of it in silent tears. Arriving back at the stadium the place was packed with people. We tried to sneak in the back but several people saw us and called out. As soon as we were back in the dressing room I ran over to mom who was sitting on the couch and embraced her in a death grip hug.

"Aw Charlie, it's alright" she cooed sympathetically in my ear, hugging me just as tightly back. Dad's hand began to rub circles on my back.

"She was very brave" he spoke as if taking to a small child but I didn't mind, right then I felt like a small child. I could hear them discussing weather or not I should go on stage in half hours time.

"I brought dinner for Charlie and Shane too, oh their here" Jason spoke in his usual bubbly voice, handing a plate each to mom and dad then a disposable cup with a straw in it to me. The frozen vanilla thick shake was perfect, it was easy to drink with my numb mouth and the coolness was soothing against the rapidly returning pain.

"You've got your daddy's sweet tooth" mom joked between mouthfuls of food. Shane was quick to shake his head against that one.

"No, no, no, who was the one who ate a whole block of chocolate last night!" he protested pointing his fork accusingly at mom. They others came into the dressing room at this point and I decided it would be safest to not sit between my parents at this point in time. I leaped from the couch and sat next to Dylan.

"I'm pregnant!" mom retorted.

"But it doesn't matter, this family is officially cutting down on sugary foods" she announced. Dad and I both shook our heads. Dad pointing out that she was being a bit hasty, it was only one cavity.

"Well it was one cavity too many" mom insisted and that was the end of that story, mom, dad and I have been on a junk food free diet ever since. Well sort of dad and I have a secret contraband stash courtesy of Jason.

Anyway after returning from tour it was decided that the boys' house just wasn't going to work anymore, with two out of three brothers married and starting their own families we needed more separate space. We found a house pretty quickly, mom had simple criteria and dad wasn't going to argue with a highly hormonal pregnant woman. The house isn't massive or very Hollywood-ish but it is very cosy and family-ish. It is single story with three bedrooms and a cute little rose garden. Mom and dad let me paint my bedroom a pale peppermint green and dad and I intend to paint the baby's room a warm rusty red colour this weekend. Uncle Jason lives in an apartment building just fifteen minutes away and Uncle Nate and Aunt Caitlyn are just two blocks down the road from us. The boys all returned to school and their own homes with their own families after the tour, we plan to write and record what we can over the next few months and have our next album come out in the new year. I am going to fly over as many weekends as my parents will allow me to see them and working on our album. I guess that won't be as often as I would like especially now that I am back at school too. Oh yeah, I haven't mentioned that yet, opps!

"I want to go to a real school" I announced one evening at dinner. I was bored with home-schooling especially now that the boys weren't around to study with me. I wanted to be around real teenagers again. Mom and dad have been harping on about us being more like a normal family for months, well normal families send their children to schools. This is exactly what I intended to tell them. I had planned out the entire debate in my room that afternoon, really leaving them no option but to say yes. To my surprise one sentence was all it took. We had been eating in near silence, after my statement they looked at each other. Dad shrugged and mom nodded, end of debate.

"Really, I can go?" I grinned eagerly practically jumping up from my chair.

"I don't see why not, especially if you're going to be this enthusiastic" Mom replied beginning to clear away the table.

"We can take a look at some schools tomorrow if you would like" Dad suggested standing up to help mom with the dishes. This time I did jump up from my seat with a squeal wrapping my arms tightly around his middle.

"Yes, please" I exclaimed, dad gave me a funny look and shifted out of my grasp so he would not drop any of the plates he was carrying.

"Mitchie, where is the thermometer, I want to check she isn't sick" he smirked teasingly.

A few days later we had agreed on a nice private school, mom and dad insisting a public school just wouldn't be safe enough for someone with parents who received their kind of media attention. Mom hadn't been feeling well but I was really keen to start school as soon as possible. Using my best daddy's little angel smile I convinced dad to fill out the enrolment forms. He had just finished the first page when mom came down stairs after taking a nap. She glanced over his shoulder at the form and frowned.

"Shane what are you doing?" she questioned harshly, she has been a bit crabby lately but she isn't good with pregnancy she has been pretty sick and hormonal.

"Just filling this out for Charlie so she can start next week" Dad explained gently. Mom sighed and took the seat at the table next to dad.

"Charlie, go get the white out and my blue folder" she instructed sliding the forms out from under dad's arm. I did as I was told returning quickly.

"What did I get wrong?" dad asked with a frown as mom began to paint the white liquid over his answers.

"Firstly we never legally changed Charlie's last name it is still Torres, and secondly you can't legally sign this. Only a legal guardian can" Mom said blowing over the white out to dry it then carefully printing the correct information into the little answers boxes.

"I'm her father that makes me a legal guardian" dad pushed clearly confused, I have to admit I was confused too. Mom sighed and flicked through the blue folder pulling out my birth certificate and showing it to dad.

"I didn't want it to be leaked and get back to you, I never put your name on the birth certificate, which the school will need a copy of" she reasoned continuing to fill out the forms. Dad looked a little hurt by this confession but the expression was fleeting and quickly followed by a look of annoyance.

"So legally, Charlotte isn't my daughter?" Dad questioned, mom put down her pen to look at him and I opted to stay very quiet and very still.

"I guess not, but does it really matter, she will be a legal adult in a few years anyway and it won't matter" mom shrugged obviously not understanding why dad was fussing over her confession.

"Yes it does matter, why didn't you tell me?" dad's voice was angry and his eyes dark, he was getting ready to throw a fit. Mom shot him a steely glare back clearly not in the mood to deal with his attitude over something she thought was trivial.

"How about you both calm down?" I offered the suggestion from my excellent view across the table, both parents doing a double take when they realised I was present and telling them to nicely pull their heads in.

"Is it really that much of a hassle to change my birth certificate? I mean I could do it right now with a pen" I insisted reaching for mom's abandoned pen and my birth certificate. Both parents were quick to stop me slamming their hands down on the table to grasp the objects before I did.

"You can't just white out your birth certificate, Charlotte" dad told me with a shake of his head giving me a look like I was insane. Mom was also shaking her head in disbelief.

"We will get the forms and do it legally" mom assured me sounding a little frazzled but my actions. I smirked feeling very proud of myself I had just resolved their argument and neither one had worked it out. I felt like an evil genius, minus the evil of course.

Anyway that brings us up to date right now I am in study hall because I have a free period. I can't believe it has taken me all morning to write this. I guess a lot happens in two months. I skipped over all the boring stuff too! I haven't exactly made many friends in the past week I have started at this school, in fact I really haven't made any but I don't tell mom and dad that. I don't want them to make me go back to being home schooled. Every night I go home and tell them carefully constructed stories about my friends, when at school the other kids act funny around me. Staring as I walk around the halls and whispering about who I am, it's creepy. I tell Jason though. I go to his house almost every day after school, mostly to eat junk food and play x-box games with him but we talk a lot too. He is rather insightful at times, surprising huh?

Ok so I didn't get a whole lot of choice about which subjects I studied this year as I started a few weeks into the semester, which is why right now I am sitting in my sixth period life studies class staring at a robotic baby doll simulator. I know I pulled a face as the teacher fixed the electronic bracelet to fit my right wrist but suppressing the groan was all I could manage. I mean in the next few months there will be two really babies in my life do I really need to carry around a doll for the next week! A nice looking girl sitting next to me gave me a sympathetic smile.

"It's not too bad, my sister took the class last year, I could help you if you want?" she told me timidly. She was a very pretty girl about the same height and weight as me with fair skin and gorgeous red curls.

"That would be great" I smiled back at her. After that period I invited the girl, Holly over to my house for the afternoon. We helped each other to pack up our bags taking turns to carry the dolls so the other could use both of their hands. Nate and Caitlyn were waiting out front to pick me up. It wasn't unusual I never really know who is going to pick me up from school; I guess it just depends on who offers to. Holly and I chatted about our classes and homework the whole drive home; I was pleasantly surprised when she didn't freak out over my aunt and uncle. Arriving home Caitlyn waddled herself and her big belly over to the couch then collapsed next to mom and her big belly. I walked over and gave each one a one armed hug, introduced Holly to mom then took her upstairs to my room. We were sitting on my bed picking out names for our babies as we waited for the dolls to activate at four thirty. We were giggling and being silly when dad knocked on the door and came in with Nate behind him.

"Hey baby girl" he greeted kissing the top of my head. I grinned and gave him a hug.

"Hi daddy, this is Holly, guess what... I'm a mommy" I blurted out in a rushed giggle sending both holly and I into hysterics. Dad smiled picking up the doll from my bed. And turning it over to inspect it, he then passed it to his brother to take a look at. Nate almost dropped it when the doll activated and started crying. I giggled and took the doll from him pressing the micro-chipped bracelet against its chest, instantly stopping the crying. Dad was laughing his head off.

"Oh Nate what would you do if that was your kid" he teased shaking his head in amusement.

"Better than you would I am sure?" Nate retaliated with a shrug. Picking up the doll once more this time holding it like you should a real baby.

"I am already a dad, I know what to do with kids" I gave him a 'yeah sure' look at this comment and opened my mouth to point out he was hardly an expert at caring for babies.

"You're hardly an expert Shane; you have a teenage daughter, so you're no more experienced than I am!" Nate scoffed while Holly and I shared a look. I have such a funny family. Suddenly an idea came to me. I winked at Holly then interrupted the arguing brother.

"Well why don't you make a bet, you can each borrow one of the dolls for the afternoon and see who looks after it better?" I suggested watching as surprisingly they both fell for it. Holly and I handed them the spare bracelets we had been given and snuck out of my room giggling the whole way to the living room.

"Hey mom can Holly and I go get frozen yogurt?" I asked with a wide grin. Mom nodded absently then turned to look at me properly.

'Hold on where are those dolls, shouldn't they be working now?" she questioned with a frown checking her watch. I gave her my best innocent expression and assured her we had found two very willing and capable baby sitters. Mom and Caitlyn gave each other a look before hurrying helping each other off the couch and walking as fast as they could down the hall. Holly and I giggled again before following them. In my room Nate was feeding his doll using the micro-chipped bottle and Dad was desperately trying to change the other dolls bottle although he looked a little scared at doing so. I saw mom open her mouth to get mad at dad but Caitlyn stopped her, by placing her hand on her

"Go get that yogurt girls, this could be fun" she smirked leaning against the door frame to admire the view.


	12. Chapter 12

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Twelve**

**AN: Hey All  
Thank you for your reviews, alerts and favourites, you guys are awesome!!!  
In the next few days I will post a spoiler for Chapter Thirteen on my twitter  
page so go check it out through my ff profile.  
Enjoy this chapter  
Princess Kay **

I am so tired and so bored, but there is no way I could possibly sleep because I am too excited. I was pacing the hospital waiting room, but dad made me sit down. Jason fell asleep in the corner about two hours ago; mom is spread out across a few chairs also asleep. Grandad Craig is reading a book and Grandma Donna has rang everyone we know at least twice. We have been sitting here for hours because Aunt Caitlyn is in labour. Uncle Nate has come to see us a few times but mostly he stays with her. The last time he looked a little pale and nervous. Mom went and sat with Caitlyn for a bit before she fell asleep and grandad took Nate outside for a father son chat. I asked dad if grandad had given him a chat when he found out he had a daughter and dad had nodded, he wouldn't tell me what he had said though. Grandma assured me he was just passing on some fatherly wisdom.

I swear the waiting room clock is broken. We have been here forever! I didn't know it took this long to have a baby. Jason woke up a little while ago and we went to the cafeteria to get food for everyone. Then mom woke up and we went for a walk around the floor because she had sore legs. Now I am lying on the ground we haven't heard from anyone in ages.

Ok Jason and I have played a total of 19 games of go fish before we got sick of it. Jason's next suggestion was that we go down to the emergency room and fake a broken arm so we could get x-rays but grandma put a stop to that very quickly, Jason and I aren't allowed to leave the waiting room, she doesn't trust us.

I hate hospitals they always smell way too clean like they have been painted with really strong detergent. They never turn off the lights so you never know if the clock is broken and it is actually day time and not night time.

Despite my excitement I must have fallen asleep because at 8:42 in the morning my little cousin was born and fifteen minutes later I was being woken up by my dad.

"Charlie, Aunt Caitlyn had the baby" he whispered running his fingers lovingly through my hair to wake me up. I opened my eyes and stared at him groggily. I could see a big smile on his face. Sitting up I saw the others were also stretching awake or grinning ecstatically at the news. Mom and grandma had tears in their eyes. I rose to my feet stretching out my sore muscles. We had been at the hospital for seventeen hours. It was another half hour before I actually got to see my cousin. We visited aunt Caitlyn, Uncle Nate and the baby in small groups. My grandparents and Caitlyn's parents went first. Then mom dad, Jason and I. I hugged my aunt and uncle, both who looked exhausted but blissfully happy. Uncle Nate was proudly holding his newborn daughter. She was so tiny and adorable. Her skin was a rosy pink, there were little tuffs of brown hair on her small round head and her eyes clearly marked her as a Gray. They were the same striking big brown eyes that the three brothers shared, as did their mother and I. She weighs a healthy six pounds seven ounces and is the cutest thing I have ever seen. Nate didn't seem very willing to give up his hold on his daughter so we didn't ask. Dad did however take a photo of the three of them and write down a short comment about how happy they were to be parents, for the press who had been staked out outside for as long as we had been inside. With all this information we left them to rest all heading home to shower and eat real food. By that afternoon the photo had reached several internet sites including my own twitter page and the statement was being quoted in various entertainment news reports. My baby cousin's name was kept a secret from the public until a week after she came home from the hospital. The entire family had attended a magazine photo shoot and interview talking about how happy we were for the new addition. The family photo of all of us is now hanging proudly on my grandparent's living room wall.

Kennedy Madison Gray was named by her father and Nate being Nate insured her name held meaning. Naming her after Ex-President Kennedy and Nate's all time favourite place to perform, Madison Square Gardens. It is the perfect name for her, it just suits her.

Names have been a big deal recently Mom and Dad decided that they needed to come up with a name for my baby brother or sister.

"No way!" my dad said adamantly shaking his head; he was sitting at the kitchen table searching names on his laptop.

"Oh, come on, it's a nice name" Mom pushed from her spot on the couch flicking through a baby name book. I was sitting on the kitchen counter with a bag of chicken flavoured potato chips. Mom had been too tired to go grocery shopping this week so with my newly acquired driver's license I volunteered, making just a few alterations to her shopping list.

"It's cheesy" I pointed out, deciding my own input was required. We were starting with boys names. Mom was trying to convince dad that Shane Adam Gray Junior was a good name. Mom childishly pouted sticking her tongue out at me.

"If you were a boy that would have been your name missy" she retorted making me cringe, very thankful I am a girl.  
"What about something that matches with Charlotte?" dad suggested his eyes focused on a bright pink and blue web page. I believe he was reading tips on how to name your children.

"What like Lancelot? I don't think so" I stated wrinkling my nose. Dad and mom both pulled faces too. There was silence for a while as they continued to scan for names they liked.

"I like the idea, but what if we matched the start of her name, like Christian" Mom suggested, dad thought it over for a minute before nodding.

"Christian Gray, Yeah I like it" he smiled at her. Mom smiled happily too, and then sighed.

"Now to pick a middle name" she frowned re-opening the baby book she had just placed on the coffee table. We fell into silence again, the hall clock and my chewing the only sounds of life in the house.

"What about James?" I offered jumping down from the counter and scooping up another name book.

"That's perfect!" mom gushed and dad agreed. Yay one name down one to go! Another hour later following much the same method of selection as the first name we had chosen a girls name. Mom sighed in relief that we had finished dropping her book to the floor with a content smile. Dad shut down the computer and I picked myself up from the floor between the table and the couch. It was decided if my sibling is a boy, his name would be Christian James Gray, but if I get a sister her name will be Chontelle Grace Gray. The whole process was exhausting.

"So mom how did you decide to name me Charlotte?" I asked placing the name books into a pile on the coffee table.

"It was much easier to be honest" Mom giggled shifting so I could join her on the couch. Dad came over and leaned against the back of the couch eager to hear the tale too.

"When I was a little kid my favourite story was Charlotte's web, I had forgotten by the time it came to naming you but mom had gone through all my old things in search of any baby stuff I could use and come across the book. A few days before you were born I spent an entire day in bed reading the book and just decided I loved the name." she explained. I frowned wrinkling me nose.

"I am named after a fictional spider?" I questioned drily.

"No! You're named after a classic fairytale" mom insisted while dad tried to hide a chuckle. I giggled letting mom know I understood and had just been teasing her.

"Oh, you know what I feel like for dinner... Chinese" Mom announced glancing at the darkening sky through the window. Dad shrugged and I jumped to my feet.

"I'll go get it!" I called excitedly running to the hall to grab my shoes and car keys.

"Hold up! I am coming with you…give me those keys!" dad yelled after me, the man taught me to drive but he still doesn't trust me behind the wheel!

Later that night gathered in the living room a collection of Chinese food containers spread out on the coffee table and light comedy movie on the television, we celebrated the naming of the newest member of our family. The phone interrupted our quiet family evening with a surprise invitation for the next week. Matt Elliot himself rang to offer me a part in his bands latest music video, which they planned to film in New York next week. After much begging and promises to not let it get me behind in school I was granted permission from mom and dad to fly to New York next Friday. Of course mom is too pregnant to fly and dad doesn't really want to leave mom alone, meaning I get to go all by myself! Well that's what I thought until dad dropped me off at the airport. Stepping out of the car I was greeted by Randy our bodyguard.

"Daddy" I whined turning sharply to face him and stretching out each letter. Dad shook his head.

"You're only sixteen Charlotte; you are not flying across the country with out an adult" he laid down the law while pulling my suitcase out of the car. I rolled my eyes in annoyance as Randy slung an arm across my shoulders. Dad kissed my forehead and instructed me to behave myself, before leaving us to check in. We arrived at New York just after lunch, picked up by a car and taken to a hotel. Matt and the band were at the hotel already and it took all of my self control to not act like an obsessed fan girl. We all went out to lunch together before heading to our first location to begin filming. Shooting a video in the heart of New York was bound to attract some attention and it did. Because you can't exactly shut down part of a city like New York to film we had to just cooperate with the public, even if that meant redoing takes like a million times not because we messed up but due to interferences. You would not believe the amount of people who think it is fun to honk their car horns when they see a film crew. I became glad that dad had insisted Randy come along, the intense amount of people hanging around had me feeling claustrophobic and very tiny, but with Randy at my side every time the director called cut, I felt a lot safer. The song the video was for was a love song and lucky me, got to play the love interest. There were plenty of close contact scenes including a kiss, but only on the cheek. I told the director I wasn't comfortable with anything more than that. Oh I also got to the do the whole classic romantic movie, run and jump into your lovers waiting arms thing, it is totally as fun as it looks! The video was mostly set at night, so we filmed most of it late Saturday night and ran into the early hours of Sunday morning. I was wearing fitted black pants, some really cool black leather boots with a nice sized heel and a deep plum coloured top that was a little lower cut than dad would approve of. My eyes were painted with dark smoky make up and my lips painted a vibrant red to make me look older. My hair was all pulled up into a messy yet styled bun, I felt pretty and grown up but I was freezing. New York is very cold in December, even worse late at night. When I didn't have my thick coat and blanket wrapped around me I was jumping up and down, dancing around to keep warm. Saturday was spent sightseeing; my favourite was the statue of liberty. Times Square was a close second. I also found plenty of time to do my Christmas shopping. The trip and the shoot went well until Sunday morning. We hadn't been to bed yet when we had to leave. Our flight was early in the day; we only had time to shower and eat before we packed up our hotel rooms and headed downstairs. I was sleepy as we made our way across the lobby to the door and didn't notice the group of paparazzi hanging around outside. I had become used to a few cameras' popping up when we went out because well my family were pretty famous, but Matt and his band are like the biggest thing in the music industry at the moment there have been tonnes of cameras following us all weekend. Before I made it through the door Randy threw my fluffy coat hood over my head and held it, pushing my head down as he guided me through the crowd. The boy's bodyguard was trying to keep all four of them out of harm as well on our short journey to the car but it was clear he was struggling. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Matt was being hassled by a photographer. People everywhere were shouting and pushing. I reached out my arm and caught his hand tugging him towards me and the safety of Randy. After pulling him free I held tightly onto his hand until we got to the car to ensure he didn't get lost in all the chaos.

Unlike the flight there, on the way home we were all on the same flight, which made the time fly by faster. Being absolutely exhausted helps too. We left Los Angeles airport with much the same fuss that we left behind in New York. I frowned tiredly as we walked out the doors and into a crowd of people at around lunchtime.

"Smile Princess, one day it will be your band this lot is chasing after" Matt whispered in my ear his arm coming to rest across my shoulders as he spoke. I grinned feeling butterflies of excitement well up in my stomach for two reasons. One he believed our band was good enough to get to where he was and two he was touching me, my inner fan girl couldn't deal with that and I found myself blushing. I hugged the band goodbye as we went our separate ways and let Randy take me over to where dad was waiting in my car.

"Hey Daddy" I beamed kissing his cheek as I jumped into the back seat.

"I take it you have fun?" he smiled through the rear view mirror at me. As much fun as my trip to New York had been it turned out to be an annoying memory. Rumours were quick to circulate about a 'secret relationship' between Matt and me because photographers had sold photos of when I had grabbed Matt's hand at the hotel and at the Los Angeles airport. That coupled with some taken during the music video shoot were more than enough to get the entertainment news reporters gossiping. I had been right dad just about had a heart attack when he saw the photos of my costume. Mom had even frowned slightly when we watched the rough edit of the video, which Matt had dropped over. I emailed a copy of it to Dylan, explaining that it had been acting and that it was all just gossip. His reply was calm telling me he understood and that he thought I looked hot.

The music video officially came out New Years Eve at a big party. That I was invited to, I was so excited about spending New Years at an exclusive Hollywood party. Mum and I went out shopping and picked out a cute red dress that fitted me perfectly, clinging in all the right places. It reached my knees and was decorated with sequins and beads that caught the light and sparkled. I practically skipped down the hall to the living room after getting ready.

"Ta da!" I giggled giving a quick twirl for my family who were spending New Years together. Mom and Aunt Caitlyn smiled Dad gave a short nod of approval and Uncle Nate was a little preoccupied with Kennedy. Hearing a car horn outside signalling my ride I raced to hug and kiss everyone goodbye. I grinned, gathering up my purse, phone and house key as they called out the usual parental warnings and well wishes.

"Hey" Matt greeted as I climbed into the passenger seat of his car.

I awoke late the next morning, only dragging myself from bed because I was too thirsty to just ignore it and lie there any longer. I snatched up my phone and ran my fingers through my dark tangled hair brushing it out of my face as I shuffled down the hall. Arriving in the kitchen I saw all my uncles, aunt, cousin and parents gathered around the table. Every adult had the same look on their face. I couldn't name the expression it was kind of a mix between sad and angry or perhaps it was closer to confused?

"Who died?" I teased my voice hoarse as passed them. I had poured a glass of water and sculled it but received no reply. Not a single person had spoken.

"Someone didn't actually die did they?" I questioned timidly a sinking feeling settling in my stomach. I saw dad clench his teeth together and his fists balled tightly against the table top. Mom shifted uncomfortably, Caitlyn sneezed and Nate leaned over to check on Kennedy who was asleep in her pram.

"What's…What's wrong" I stuttered moving to stand at the end of the table. Before anyone could answer my phone interrupted. I glanced down at the caller id smiling as I saw the familiar name.

"Hello" I greeted happily stepping back to lean against the kitchen wall. There was a deep sigh on the other end followed by a weak whisper.

"Why?"

"Why, what?" I asked cautiously the smile slipping off my face, I was really worried now. That sinking feeling in my stomach becoming worse as fear set in. Dylan cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"I never would have thought…I just…I don't want to believe it" he muttered stumbling over his words.

"What's wrong?" I whispered back feeling very confused.

"Don't even try it! You're so busted… I don't get it why didn't you just tell me rather than messing me around!" he growled, it was his tone of voice that caused me to gulp. I have never heard such an angry and hurt tone from him before, the fact that it was directed at me brought tears to my eyes.

"What did I do?" I choked out trying to hold back my tears. Dylan cussed under his breath before I heard the dial tone echo in my ear. I slid down the wall curling up into a ball, a feeling similar to being punched in the stomach hit me hard. Tears leaked from my eyes and down my cheeks as I raised my head to my family.

"What did I do?" I asked again begging someone to tell me what had happened. There was a thump against the table followed by dad's chair scrapping across the tiles. He stormed out of the house, mom calling out after him.

"Don't worry Mitch, I took all the car keys from the hall table as we came in" Caitlyn assured her that he couldn't get far or do much whilst dropping a collection of keys onto the table. Kennedy was crying loudly, unhappy with being woken up. I desperately searched my brain for anything that I could have done in the last 24 hours since I had last spoken with Dylan to hurt the person I loved so badly. I came up with nothing, my mind was completely blank. I let a sob pass through my lips as I realised I had know idea what I had done to screw up my life so suddenly.


	13. Chapter 13

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Thirteen**

**AN: I am so sorry for such a long delay in updating everyone!  
My slight perfectionst tendencies took over while writing this chapter  
it had multiple re-writes because I was never quite happy with it. To be honest  
I am still a little unsure, but decided I needed to be brave and post or else the story would never be finished!  
I hope you enjoy this chapter and I thank you very much for being so paitent.  
Princess Kay**

"Will someone please just tell me what happened, I can't remember a thing" I shouted frantically. Again no one answered me.

I jumped to my feet and rushed to the bathroom as the sick feeling crept up my throat choking me. Caitlyn was trying to soothe Kennedy and mom was in no position to chase after me, so Nate took the job. He gathered up my hair in his right hand and rubbed circles across my back with his left. More tears streamed down my cheeks as I continued to sob, my head throbbing painfully. Nate helped me to my feet and turned me to face him. I rubbed my palms across my watery brown eyes, in a vain attempt to clear my blurred vision.

"Charlie, did you drink any alcohol last night?" he questioned gently, his expression sympathetic and concerned. I heard my mother gasp and glanced up to see her standing in the doorway. I gave a weak nod.

"Only one glass of champagne at midnight…it was nothing…just to celebrate, that's it I swear" I began to ramble trying to justify my actions. Nate was lost in thought for a moment then pulled his phone from his pocket. It must have been on silent, I hadn't heard it ring.

"Hey mom…Mitchie will be glad to hear it…keep him there alright, I'm taking Charlie to the hospital and we don't need him losing it…she's fine…yeah, later" he kept the call quick but it was enough for mom and me to become even more worried.

"Shane's at mom's, go get changed" Nate spoke to both of us pushing me in the direction of my bedroom.

"Nathaniel Gray, you will tell me right now why you are taking my daughter to the hospital!" Mom cried becoming emotional and stressed out. Nate sighed giving me one last shove towards my room and hugging mom. After Caitlyn the man was well experienced in hormonal pregnant women.

"Its fine Mitchie, I just want to make sure she wasn't given anything else other than that one glass of champagne last night" he tried to calm her. I frowned but followed his order to get changed, washing my face and combing my hair so I looked half presentable. Returning to the kitchen Nate handed me a glass of water before guiding me to the living room and selecting a program from the TiVo.

"Like father, like daughter. Shane Gray has always been known as the Gray family's wild child and it seems daughter Charlie is following in his footsteps." A bubbly reporter beamed from the television screen.

"The sixteen year old was seen partying it up with nineteen year old Matt Elliot at an under 21 club last night, confirming rumours the pair are dating" the reporter seemed thrilled to be announcing the juicy piece of gossip, which made me feel nauseous again. I swallowed hard in an attempt to relieve the feeling. Accompanying that statement was a series of photos. The first was of Matt and I when we arrived at the party, all smile his hand resting against my lower back guiding me through the cameras. The second one wasn't a nice photo. One of my hands was holding a champagne glass; the other was weaved into Matt's hair as our lips were locked in an intense looking kiss. His hands were pulling me up and closer to him, there was a blur of people in the background and colourful lights gave our skin an eerie glow. The third and final shot was just as bad Matt was standing behind me his arms wound firmly around my waist causing the hem line of my dress to raise a little higher than it should be. We were posed with smiles for a different camera, our eyes looked glassy and it was evident that Matt's arms were the only thing holding me up right. My make up was smudged and my hair a tangled mess, I looked awful. Memories flooded my mind all at once as if seeing those images had unblocked my clouded brain.

"Oh my gosh, what did I do?" I gasped this time knowing the answer, burying my head in my hands and curling myself into a ball on the couch.

Nate didn't end up taking me to the hospital. I wouldn't leave my bedroom and no one seemed prepared to push the issue. I lay on my bed hidden under my sheets re-dialling Dylan's number again and again. Every time I was sent to voice mail and every time more tears fell down my cheeks. Matt had rung several times but I had ignored him. Alexis had also tried a few times but I only wanted to talk to Dylan. I needed to find some way to make him see how much I loved him and that I hadn't meant to do what I did. In a final desperate attempt I dialled his home number. His mother picked it up after just three rings.

"Hello?" I sucked in a sharp breath; I hadn't actually expected someone to answer.

"Hello, Mrs Watson…I was wondering if I could talk to Dylan?" I inquired shifting into a sitting position and crossing my fingers for good luck.

"Oh Charlie…well…" I sighed at her broken response before cutting her off, saving her from trying to come up with an excuse.

"Don't worry about it Mrs Watson…I wouldn't want to talk to me either" I whispered then ended the call. I rose to my feet and stared angrily at the poster of Matt and his band hanging on my wall. I ran towards it and gave it a forceful tug removing it cleanly from the wall. Feeling somewhat satisfied with the action I continued with my rage and tore the poster to shreds. Several other posters received the same fate. Ones of our band, because I couldn't bear to look at Dylan's smiling face right next to mine. A bunch of Connect Three ones and some of mom's old ones joined the pile to as I became angry at them for being famous. Blaming them for the camera's the followed my life reporting it to the world. Following the posters were a collection of photo frames I had neatly lined up on a book shelf. The first was a recent addition from the video shoot in New York. I tossed it hard against my closed bedroom door, enjoying the sound of the shattering glass. As the second photo frame left my hand and collided with the door footsteps hurried down the hall and my bedroom door was flung open. I had already snatched up a third frame as Nate bravely entered his hands raised, his brown eyes asking me to put the frame down. Mom had her hand to her mouth, Caitlyn's eyes were wide. I returned the frame to its place on the shelf.

"Redecorating?" Nate joked lowering to the floor to inspect the pile of shredded posters. I sat down calmly on the floor beside him. Brushing my hair away from my face and letting out one last angry breath.

"I made a mistake" I confessed in a low mutter looking at my bare feet. The scarlet nail polish from last night was a little chipped; I scratched my thumb nail over it, peeling off flakes of red.

"Everyone makes mistakes, you'll get through it…your whole family is here to help you" Nate responded supportively. I continued to pick at the nail polish on my toes, shaking my head at him.

"My mistake was coming here in the first place…" I raised my head and frowned at him.

"…I should have stayed with Connie and Steve" my voice rose as I stood up, looking down on my uncle. I glanced at my mother.

"None of this would have happened" I stared at her accusingly clearly blaming her. the front door banged closed at the point. Caitlyn's head turn in the direction of the sound but mom and I remained in our staring match.

"It's not your mom's fault Charlie; it just comes with the job" Nate tried to reason with me. I turned on him scoffing at his statement.

"Well people didn't follow me around with cameras publishing my private life all over the internet before I moved to LA" I snapped at him. Nate took an involuntary step back but quickly straightened his shoulders not willing to back down to his niece.

Then there was a holler from my doorway which caught our attention. It was dad.

"Apologise to your uncle and mother" he commanded his tone telling me not to mess with him. Anger was still bubbling inside of me and I stubbornly kept my mouth clamped shut. It was a battle of wills between two highly stubborn and ill tempered Gray's.

"Fine, sit" he ordered pointing to the bed and nodding for the others to leave. I shut my eyes tightly and listened for the sound of the door closing.

The mattress sunk slightly with someone's weight and a hand rested on my back. I twisted my head then fell into my fathers arms.

"Do you hate me?" I mumbled into his shirt my anger dying away as quickly as it had come, like a balloon deflating.

"It's not you I was mad at" he replied softly, affectionately combing his fingers through my dark hair. I raised my head to look at him questioningly.

"I was mad at myself for letting you go to that party and at Matt for taking advantage of you" he explained sounding extremely calm considering how he had stormed out of the house a few hours earlier. I shook my head I didn't blame Matt yeah sure he is older and should have known better but I can't blame him. Remembering last night I know I should have said no when it was suggest we all drink and I should have stopped Matt when he made to kiss me but I didn't. Not because I have feelings for him because I don't, it was a mix of alcohol and being star struck. I don't know how long we sat there, me in dad's arms neither of us talking.

"Can I go stay with Connie and Steve for a while?" I whimpered into his chest, finally breaking the silence.

"No" he answered a frown formed on my face.

"Running away doesn't help" he concluded, I raised my head and eye brows at his comment, clearly showing my feelings on that statement. He was being hypocritical. Wasn't he the one who had just stormed out of the house!

"Do as I say, not as I do" he smirked at me, adding a wink to make me giggle. As we both smiled the days events seemed rather distant.

"That's my girl…it makes my day to see you smile" dad beamed kissing my forehead. I widened my smile at his sweetness, then for good measure gave him a light shove.

"You're getting mushy in your old age, buddy" I teased crawling off the bed. Dad was a little taken back by my comment, taking a minute to process it.

"Oh you just let me show you how old I am" he retorted quickly grabbing me and tossing me onto the bed, tickling me until I was squealing with laughter, barely able to breath.

"Now go get the vacuum and take this out to the recycling bin" he instructed gesturing to the mess in my room, then playfully swatting the back of my thigh as I rolled over extremely slowing procrastinating.

As dad and I entered the kitchen mom's look was questioning, filled with concern and worries.

"We are all going to be fine" dad said firmly, giving her a hug and a kiss.

I continued to sulk for the next few days but there were no more temper tantrums or major melt downs. Mom had replaced all the posters and photos I had destroyed, but hadn't placed them in my room. She insisted that I would eventually regret wreaking everything. By the end of the week the entertainment news reporters had found someone new to torture. I was on the couch in the living room flicking through television channels. I was on holidays for another few days but I didn't want to be out having fun with my school friends.

"Alright, I am getting sick of this" dad sighed blocking my view of the television and holding my guitar out for me to take.

"What did the guitar do to you?" I asked sarcastically craning my neck to look around him. Dad snatched the remote from my hands and fumbled to click the television off.

"We're Grays music is how we deal with life, so write, play...just quit sulking" he pushed the guitar closer to me until I accepted it. He gave a triumphant smile as if he had accomplished something amazing. As usual he was right though. It took just a few minutes for my fingers to form a melody that I didn't even know I had been itching to play. Words and thoughts tumbled from my lips slowly forming lyrics.

Two days after writing the song, Caitlyn arranged for me to get into a recording studio with a friend of hers. I arrived early with my guitar and a bag full of energy drinks and chicken flavoured potato chips, leaving just in time to make our weekly family dinner at my grandparent's house. I left the studio carrying only my guitar and a rough copy of the song. It was a cold evening I had a grey woollen jacket pulled tightly over a purple shirt and my blue jeans. A purple lace knitted beanie was keeping my hair out of my face. I ducked my head against the wind and smiled politely at the three photographers hanging around waiting for me. I hurried to my car, starting it up and stuffing the cd into the stereo. The soft guitar melody filled the air as I tugged my belt into place and pulled out of the car park. Then my voice broke through loud and strong.

_I feel so unsure. _A drum beat started up as my words ended. _  
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor  
As the music dies (as the music dies)  
Something in your eyes  
Calls to mind the silver screen  
And all it's sad goodbyes  
_

I turned into the street as the chorus started, a smile forming on my lips in excitement, I loved being able to hear all my work coming together.

_I'm never gonna dance again  
Guilty feet have got no rhythm  
Though it's easy to pretend  
I know you're not a fool  
I should have known better than to cheat a friend (should have known better, yeah)  
And waste a chance that I've been given  
So I'm never gonna dance again  
The way I danced with you _

Listening to my voice raising to reach higher notes, I acknowledged how far I had come in my singing over the past twelve months.

Time can never mend  
The careless whispers of a good friend  
To the heart and mind (to the heart and mind)  
Ignorance is kind (ignorance is kind)  
There's no comfort in the truth  
Pain is all you'll find

The words I sang couldn't be truer or more heart felt. Time wasn't going to change what I had done. I wanted to hide and ignore it, but I had to face the truth no matter how painful. Dad had taught me that. I knew dad would find that line humorous, I had never been good at dancing, guilty or not. However the metaphor worked and I was proud of it._  
Though it's easy to pretend  
I know you're not a fool  
I should have known better than to cheat a friend (should have known better, yeah)  
And waste a chance that I've been given  
So I'm never gonna dance again  
The way I danced with you_

I'm never gonna dance again  
Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Tonight, the music seems so loud  
I wish that we could lose this crowd  
Maybe, it's better this way (this way)  
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say (to say)  
We could have been so good together (so good)  
We could have lived this dance forever  
But now, who's gonna dance with me?  
Please stay

My lyrics hinted to my annoyance with the media and pathetically begged Dylan to stay with me. 

I'm never gonna dance again (dance again)  
Guilty feet have got no rhythm (baby got no rhythm)  
Though it's easy to pretend  
I know you're not a fool (I know you're not a fool)  
I should have known better than to cheat a friend (cheat a friend)  
And waste a chance that I've been given (chance that I've been given)  
So I'm never gonna dance again  
The way I danced with you (the way I danced with you)

I'm never gonna dance again (dance again)  
Guilty feet have got no rhythm (baby got no rhythm)  
Though it's easy to pretend  
I know you're not a fool (I know you're not a fool)  
I should have known better than to cheat a friend (should have known better) (cheat a friend)  
And waste a chance that I've been given (chance that I've been given)  
So I'm never gonna dance again  
The way I danced with you (the way I danced with you)

The chorus explained that I felt guilty and sorry, expressing that I had been foolish and naïve, but most importantly pointing out that I regretted what I had clearly lost. 

Now that you're gone  
Now that you're gone  
I know that I'm never gonna dance again  
Now that you're gone  
Was what I did so wrong?  
So wrong, that you had to leave me alone?

_Without your love_

_Shoulda' known better_

The song finished by stating the obvious, I should have known better.

When I arrived at my grandparents my dad impatiently asked if he could hear the song.

"So are we going to get the privilege of hearing this song you have been working on all day?" He begged as we took our seats at the dinner table. I hadn't let anyone hear it. Mom and dad and heard snippets as I had written it but that was it. I shrugged and slid the cd across the table towards him. Chewing on my bottom lip and twisting my fingers tightly together as he inserted it into the cd player. I held my breath as the song finished watching wide eyed for their reactions. For my blasé attitude about handing over the cd like all artists criticism made me anxious, and my family were my biggest critics.

"Oh honey" my grandmother cooed brushing her fingers across my cheek sympathetically, showing me just how clear my metaphor had been.

"That was a really beautiful song Charlie" Mom beamed proudly at me. I turned to Nate and Caitlyn after receiving nods and smiles from everyone else. Caitlyn winked at me and Nate had his thinking face on.

"You know, if we talk to the right people we could have that on the radio by the end of next week" he mused, I rolled my eyes. Uncle Nate was always going to be the business man of the group.

"It's not finished yet" I told him shaking my head at his crazy idea. I didn't want this song on the radio. I wrote it for me, no one else.

I should have known not to go up against my uncle and his thinking face. I mean really everyone thinks dad and I are the stubborn Grays! Nate gets that look on his face and there is no changing his mind. It took him just over two weeks to get the song on the radio and while he was at it he had me record two covers, one the 'this is me/ I gotta find you' duet with dad. The second was one of mom's originals 'who will I be'. Those three songs plus one I had recorded with Dylan that never made the album and my other original were compiled together in a rather rushed EP.

I had not attempted to call Dylan since I had spoken to his mom. I kept my phone close by though, frequently checking to see if he had tried to contact me. In the end Noah was the first one of the boys to make contact. It was a few days after the single was released, my friends had clearly picked up on hints. I had been sitting on the couch watching an afternoon movie.

"Enough is enough, you have been miserable…Dylan has been miserable, talk to each other" he groaned in greeting, I winced at his name.

"Noah, what the hell are you on about?" it took me a minute to register that it was not my voice that had spoken my thoughts. And a further minute for me to register that it was Dylan's voice. I couldn't talk my breath caught in my throat choking up all the apologies I wanted to so desperately blurt out. The phone line was dead for a moment before Dylan spoke again.

"Noah, tell your girlfriend to stay out of my freaking life! I know she's the one who put you up to this!" Dylan ranted his frustration blatantly obvious.

"Wait, girlfriend? Since when did you have a girlfriend?" I questioned my tone teasing and directed at Noah. There was no response, but I could tell Noah had not left the call, he was listening in.

"They're both eavesdropping right now aren't they?" I asked Dylan. I sighed wanting to cry again when I heard the sound of Dylan hanging up the phone. But I could have done a back flip when he rang me back just seconds later.

"I hate to admit it but Alexis had the right idea" he grumbled as I answered, Alexis and Noah? I filed the information away for when she inevitably called later to get the gossip. My stomach filled with fluttering butterflies and I felt the need to gulp. He wanted to talk. How was I ever going to explain, I had had a week to analysis every second of New Years and could think of no way to make it sound like I hadn't cheated.

"I don't have feelings for Matt" I stated blankly, twisting and tugging at a thread on the plum coloured woollen blanket wrapped around my legs.

"I don't know if I can just forgive you Charlie…I want to but…" Dylan's tone was low, he sounded confused and tired.

"I can understand that" I sighed as the thread between my fingertips finally snapped.

"I like those songs you brought out" he complimented conveniently changing the topic. Even over the phone this boy could make me blush.

"Thanks…it was really nice of you to allow that duet we recorded go into it" I spoke softly; the conversation was still very awkward. There was a pause before Dylan sighed and spoke up.

"Think you could visit this weekend?"

Just three more words from Dylan 'I miss you' and we ended the call. I didn't give my parents much choice in the matter, an hour later I had a flight booked and my bag packed.

"I'll be back in a few days… I miss my friends" I reasoned with dad. I was antsy and restless the whole trip. I had packed as little as possible so I could carry my bag as hand luggage. The airport was pretty deserted by the time we landed and entered the terminal. As the other passengers moved towards the luggage claim area I spotted a lone teenage boy stepping out of a shadowed corridor towards the gate I had just entered from. He was wearing a pair of camouflage print cargo pants and a black band t-shirt; he also had dark blonde hair that could really use a cut. He paused, his eyes scanning over the small remainder of lingering passengers before landing on me. Butterflies flittered anxiously in my stomach. The boy reached into his pocket tossed a set of car keys into the air then caught them, all with his left hand.

"Coming?" he called a smirk pulling at him lips. My heart gave an irregular beat before my brain kicked in and I was actually able to move towards him. I shifted my bag so the strap stayed more comfortably on my shoulder as we silently fell into step with each other and approached the exit. As we arrived at his car Dylan slid his right hand into my left one, twisting me to face him with a gentle tug. On instinct we both leaned in, our lips just inches from touching.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered the words so softly I was worried he wouldn't hear them.

"I've missed you" Dylan replied closing the gap between us.


	14. Chapter 14

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Fourteen**

**AN: Hey Everyone,  
Here finally is chapter 14.  
Thank you as always to those who reviewed, alerted or favourited.  
Enjoy  
PrincessKay****  
**

I've missed you was all it took, an unspoken promise to forget. I tried pushing the subject as we left the airport but Dylan insisted he had no more to say.

I was startled awake the next morning by loud thudding against the bedroom door. I opened my eyes and took a few groggy and disoriented seconds to recall where exactly I was. I was lying in Dylan's bed next to him wrapped up in his soft warm football logoed sheets. Dylan and I had snuck in to his house late last night, his mother had no idea he had even left let alone the fact that he now had a girl in his bedroom. I had a feeling that finding her son's ex-girlfriend who had publicly cheat on him and hurt him in his bed was not going to go down well with Mrs Watson. There was another thud on the door.

"Dylan, get up and unlock this door! What have I told you about locking your door when you go to sleep, what if there was a fire and I couldn't get to you!" Mrs Watson ranted sounding frustrated already. I lifted my head from its comfortable spot on Dylan's chest to check he was awake. Dylan raised his finger to his lips then to his wardrobe, motioning for me to quietly hide in the wardrobe. I frowned and shook my head.

"That's just going to get you in more trouble!" I whisper yelled slowly sitting up so as to not make too much noise. There was more banging against the door.

"Dylan open up right now, or I will go get the spare key!" his mother threatened. I pointed to the door mouthing that he should just answer it. Dylan didn't seem to like that idea but he didn't have a whole lot of choice, I wasn't going to hide and his mother was definitely coming in.

"Morning Mom" Dylan said calmly after he had unlocked the door, he was careful to position himself so his mother could not look passed him and see me.

"I have been knocking for ages, what on earth have you been doing?" she sighed shaking her head.

"Sorry mom fell asleep with my Ipod in again" Dylan shrugged and I had to admit he was doing a great job at covering up; well he was until I unexpectedly sneezed. I pinched my nose and held my breath; my panicked heart beat suddenly echoing in my ears. Oh great, we were busted now.

"Did you have a friend stay over last night?" I heard Mrs Watson ask, as Dylan shifted from side to side clearly trying to block his mothers view.

"Who is it?" she asked her tone sounding light and curious, no longer worried or mad. I stood up and walked slowing to stand behind Dylan in the doorway, just waiting for her to get mad again. He finally gave in a stepped a little out of the way as my hand touched his shoulder.

"Hello Mrs Watson" I said timidly, my top teeth catching my bottom lip nervously.

"Charlie" she sounded surprised as she spoke my name. Dylan took my hand in his and straightened his shoulders.

"She came to visit and her parents _do _know that she is here" he told her pointedly clearing the matter up before anymore could be said. Mrs Watson nodded acceptingly, obviously deciding not to react negatively to the situation.

"Would you both like some breakfast?"

An hour later Dylan drove me to Connie and Steve's I figured it would be better if I stayed with my grandparents during my visit.

"Think you could stick around till the end of the week?" Dylan asked pulling the key out of the ignition and flipping the key ring around his finger. I shrugged my eyes watching his nervous fidgeting. Dylan and I hadn't sorted anything out; we had just pushed it all aside and were trying to ignore it.

"I don't think I can, I have school on Monday" I said softly distracting myself with undoing my seatbelt and gathering up my bag.

"There's a dance on at school on Friday and we're playing a set, Seth's idea, he thought it was the only way to make me go, seeing as you wouldn't be able to come" Dylan rambled staring ahead at Connie and Steve's garage door, his fingers still toying with his car keys. I smiled kind of liking the idea that he was nervous about asking me to a school dance.

"Sounds like fun, I think I could extend my stay a few more days, then I would get to see you boys perform at the dance" I suggested, Dylan had transferred to the same school as Seth, Noah and Alexis, after tour claiming he wanted to go to school with his friends even if it was across the other side of town. He smiled at me now, leaning in and kissing my cheek.

"Good, I'll pick up at two, you can come to band rehearsal, see everyone again" he grinned as I jumped out of the car.

"I can't wait" I smiled back running to the doorstep but not entering the house till I saw him drive away.

"Charlie!" My Grandmother cried throwing the door open and pulling me into a tight embrace. I giggled hugged her back just as tightly.

"Call your father before he has a heart attack will you?" My Grandfather called out from the living room. Before I could question him the telephone rang and Connie rolled her eyes.

"You answer it that will be him again no doubt" She grumbled heading towards the kitchen. I walked across the room and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I asked slumping into the soft sofa next to Steve.

"Charlie, so you got there alright?" Dad sighed in relief from the other end.

"Yep no problems, Dylan picked me up from the airport; tell mom I love her and that I will be home Saturday afternoon, bye!" I rushed hitting the talk button and ending the call before he could respond. Steve laughed next to me wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Same old cheeky Charlie, It's good to have you here kiddo" he Chuckled pulling me into him. I hugged him back relaxing easily into a spot I still fit perfectly in. Sitting there with my Grandfather watching a baseball game on television, I couldn't help but think about my life if I had never found out the truth. Would I be in a band with an actual recording contract? Would I have gotten into such a mess New Years? Would I be getting a baby sibling in just a few Months? Would Mom and dad be together?

"Woah, did you see that one kiddo!" Steve cheered excitedly drawing me out of my thoughts.

"Ah no what happened?" I questioned shifting to stare intently at the replay on the television. I saw my grandfather frown out of the corner of my eye. I know he is worried but he won't question me on it. It's not his style; he will wait till I decided to come to him for help. He is good like that, he doesn't push.

My Grandmother on the other hand…

Mere seconds after the game ended she called me into the kitchen where she was busy making large trays of _Mars_ bar slice.

"So you're friends with Dylan again?" she asked her eyes focused on what her hands were doing trying to pretend she wasn't all that interested. I slid onto a stool and dipped my fingers in a large mixing bowl, grabbing a pinch of the mixture and bringing it up to my lips. The chocolate melted away and I slowly crunched the rice bubbles between my teeth, delaying my response by a few minutes.

"We love each other" I stated reaching for more of the mixture. My grandmother raised her eyebrows and pulled the bowl away. I rolled my brown eyes and opened my mouth to respond.

"Charlie, that boy of yours is here" Grandad called from the living room, where he was pretending not to be listening in.

"Don't say it" I instructed Connie seeing her pink lips twitch ready to begin a lecture on good relationships, then I called out to my grandfather to let him in while I changed clothes at record speed. I didn't want to leave Dylan with my grandparents for too long so I tugged on my jacket and shoes and I entered the kitchen.

'Be home for dinner" Connie told me handing over a plastic food container filled with her slice.

"We trust each other" I breathed in her ear as I gave her a thank you kiss on the cheek.

"Charlie!" Alexis's screech rang in my ears as we arrived at Dylan's garage. I hadn't caught a glance at the girl before her blonde hair had blinded me and the force of her body caused me to stumble backwards.

"Woah Alexis, don't kill her!" Seth teased causing her to release me to stick her tongue out at him. I smiled, suddenly feeling very much at home. Noah and Seth greeted me with big hugs then Dylan told them the gossip session would have to wait till after rehearsal.

"Alright let's play the new song for the girls" Noah said eagerly as he picked up his guitar. Seth gave an excited drum roll before leading into the song as Alexis and I sat down on a bean bag by the garage door.

_I felt this time that we had something _

_You rolled your eyes like it was nothing new (nothing new) _Dylan began softly with Noah echoing.

_You only think about you (think about you)_

_Put your shades on not to show it _

_Don't pretend that you don't know it's true (know it's true)_

_You only think about…_

_If you look good and girl you should _Dylan's voice rose as the drums and guitar picked up.

_Welcome to Hollywood _

_Boy, you better live it up before it bring you down_

_Welcome to Hollywood_

_Just got a grip on how to get around_

_I'm so glad I got to know you _the rhythm like Dylan's vocals slowed as the chorus ended.

_Know I know what I'm supposed to do (supposed to do)_

_You only think about you (think about you)_

_Friendly faces I've been seeing_

_Now I know they're far from being true (being true) _the lyrics were pounding through my ears thanks to Noah's new amps and leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

_You only think about… _

_If you look good I guess I should_

_Welcome to Hollywood_

_Boy, you better live it up before it brings you down_

_Welcome to Hollywood_

_Just got a grip on how to get around _The boys appeared to be having fun, getting into the music and dancing around as much as they could move whilst playing or singing.

_In your favourite tinsel town _

_The Boulevards and neon lights _

_I've been in love since the first sight_

_I wouldn't change it if I could_

_Welcome to Hollywood_

_Welcome to Hollywood _the drums dropped out leaving just the steady strum of Noah's guitar against Dylan's voice.

_Boy, you better live it up before it brings you down_

_Welcome to Hollywood (Welcome to Hollywood)_

_Just got a grip on how to get around (get around)_

_Welcome to Hollywood_

_Just got a grip on how to get around_

_Dog eat dog is to be seen _

_In the tabloid magazine _

_Seventeen, A billionaire_

_Daddy's money, do you care?_

_Welcome to Hollywood _The boys finished the song with proud grins on their faces then turned to us girls for approval. I caught Alexis's eye, she looked a mix of horrified and outraged.

"So what did you think?" Noah asked enthusiastically. Alexis and I stood up. Alexis taking two steps forward looking like she was about ready to murder her boyfriend. I reached out placing a hand on her shoulder to hold her back.

"Leave it Lexi" I warned, getting ready to tell the boys I loved their song. The words of the song had hurt especially coming from Dylan's mouth. However I was still feeling sorry for myself and I like I deserved to be punished. Truth is the song was good it just was a little too close to home.

"What did I tell you?" Seth exclaimed, always the intelligent one he had clearly foreseen our reactions.

"Shut up Seth" the boys growled in perfect sync like it was a well practiced phrase.

"Are those bullies picking on you again Seth?" Dylan's mom smiled as she entered the garage with a tray of drinks.

"I clearly warned them, Mrs Watson" Seth smirked cockily. By this stage Alexis pretty much had Noah backed into a corner.

"How could you be so insensitive" she shoved him in the chest. Noah took her hands in his for his own protection and gave her an apologetic look. I took a deep breath, willing the prickling behind my eyelids to go away. I had done enough crying in the past few weeks.

"I guess you had more to say" I mumbled finally meeting Dylan's eyes.

The others were watching us, I could feel their eyes. Still Dylan walked towards me slid his hand behind my neck and ignoring my attempt to pull away he drew our foreheads together.

"It's just a song, it could be about any girl in Hollywood" he told me in a hushed voice, his blue eyes begging me to just accept it and see it his way.

"But it's not" I retorted trying to move away once again. His free hand moved to my hip keeping me there. Dylan's lips brushed lightly against my, quickly pulling away.

"Why do we keep hurting each other?" I grumbled looking down as a tear fell from my eye.

"I have no idea" Dylan whispered as we clutched at each other pulling ourselves close together. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Yeah, well just so you know there is only so many times when that is going to work" I whined slightly annoyed at his ability to make me cave in so easily.

"Oh, you mean this?" he taunted shifting to kiss me properly. His tongue worked its way through my lips. By the time he pulled away I had to bunch his shirt tightly between my fingers. The room was spinning. I shoved him away lightly once I could focus a little.

'What have I told you about that, your lungs are stronger than mine, one of these days you're going to make me pass out" I whined reaching up to hold my dizzy head in my hands.

"Damn, you're still conscious, I better try again" Dylan teased pretending to lean in to kiss me again. I stepped backwards directing my gaze pointedly to our audience.

"Or perhaps later" Dylan mumbled only loud enough for me to hear while scratching the back of his neck.

Band practice didn't last too much longer. I got a ride home the others after we all had dinner at Dylan's house. Life slipped back into the comfortable relaxed routine it had been in before I moved to California. My friends went to school while I help Connie and occasionally did a little of the school work I had been emailed. Dylan would pick me up on his way home from school then we would go to band practice. After practice we would all have dinner at someone's house followed by finally saying goodnight and going our separate ways home.

Thursday night Alexis declared that I was staying at her place; there was no school on the Friday to give everyone plenty of time to get ready. We stayed awake all night giving each other complete makeovers. We spent hours with her older sister who is studying to be a hairdresser. While she carefully put brightly coloured highlights through our hair. Alexis bravely went first selecting a violet purple colour to match her dress, while I anxiously watched painting my fingernails black. I didn't get to choose my colour because Alexis insisted it had to match the surprise dress she had picked out for me. The one I wasn't allowed to see.

"Alexis, we are going to a school dance, not my wedding, please just let me see the dress" I whined as her sister tugged at random strands of my hair.

"It's not just any dance, Charlie! It's the prom! It has to be perfect!" I decided not to argue with her, she seemed very passionate about making this the most perfect night ever.

"Trust me you are going to love it" Alexis exclaimed referring to my dress as she delicately painted Bright pink love hearts onto each of my fingernails with a toothpick.

As usual she was right. I loved the dress and my hair. Alexis's sister had placed seven thin random stripes of bright pink in my dark chocolate brown hair, the exact same shade of pink as my dress. Which was strapless and tight fitting till my waist where a thick black bow wrapped around and tied at my neatly near my left hip. The lower half of the dress was looser and rumpled with black netted type material at the very bottom, to look like the underneath of the dress was showing. It reached just a few inches below my knees. With a pair of simple black heels on my feet and bare silver chain around my neck I was ready to go. Except for that fact that Alexis still had me tied to a chair. Literally!

"Ok now hold still so I can put on your mascara" she ordered waving her black mascara wand in front of my face. She layered various shades of brown eye shadows around my eyelids blending it in to my foundation to make it look more natural. A quick coat of lipstick and gloss and I was done. I smiled at my best friend through the mirror.

She looked amazing too, she was dressed in a purple dress with lace and sequences across her chest then it hung loose till her lower thigh where elastic pulled it firmly against her tanned legs. Purple stilettos and some purple and silver glitter makeup added to the outfit.

"Wow Alexis, remind me to take you with me next time we go on tour, or have a photo shoot or make a music video or do anything public" I ranted on in amazement. Alexis grinned proudly at me her cheeks turning a light pink.

"Really? You think it's that good?" She questioned the grin never leaving her face and she turned to inspect her work more closely.

"Of course…the makeup artist on set of that music video I filmed in New York wasn't this good" I encouraged seeing how excited Alexis was becoming from hearing my praise. She deserved it too; she had done a great job. The door bell rang down stairs and Alexis squealed snatching up my hand and tugging me down the stairs behind her. My heart started racing beneath my chest. I suddenly felt almost sick, butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I froze and gasped giving Alexis a funny look.

"You ok?" she asked pausing just before the front door.

"I think I'm nervous" I whispered ending the sentence with a nervous giggle to prove my statement. We both started laughing when Alexis whispered her reply that she felt nervous too. It took a second ring of the doorbell before we both pulled ourselves together and answered the door. Their stood Noah and Dylan both dressed in black jeans and good dress shirts. Noah's was red and his top button was undone revealing a little of his purple t-shirt underneath. Dylan's was white with blue pin stripes; a blue t-shirt was slightly visible through the thin white material. I smiled I had always loved Dylan in blue it made his eyes shine so much brighter. Noah kissed Alexis's cheek and handed her a small purple flower arrangement to put on her wrist. Returning my gaze to Dylan I saw he was holding out a pink one with black ribbon for me. I gave him a questioning look and opened my mouth ready to ask how he had known exactly what colour to get.

"Alexis, pretty much took care of everything" He smirked at me taking my left hand and sliding the elastic around my wrist.

"Yep, we were each given a twenty page instruction manual" Noah chuckled earning a whack from Alexis giving me the impression that perhaps he wasn't entirely joking.

Alexis got her wish though; Dylan drove the four of us there, where we found the stage all set up for them to play. A dj took care of the music until the hall was almost full of people, then the boys took the stage while Alexis, myself and Seth's date made small talk. It was a tad awkward neither Alexis or I had met Megan before, but as soon as the boys started playing we didn't need to talk, just dance and cheer them on.

We were having fun twirling around like little girls and singing along to the songs we knew so well.

Dylan's arms encircle my waist from behind his lips pressed against my earlobe.

"Having fun?" he asked. I melted into his touch leaning back slightly and moving my hair out of his way.

"Yes" I said answering both his and Alexis's questions, she had just asked if anyone wanted to go get a drink. I had only danced two songs with Dylan when Alexis interrupted us. She came hurrying through the crowd towards us.

"You have like a million missed calls from your family in LA" she shouted into my ear over the loud music. She held out my phone which she had been looking after. I stepped away from Dylan to examine it. Seeing she wasn't lying I did have a lot of missed calls, 42 to be exact I began to worry. I thanked Alexis and motioned to Dylan that I would be back soon, running through the hall and out into an open corridor. I hit redial on the last missed call and waited just three short rings for someone to answer.

"Charlie, you need to be on the first flight back home" Nate's voice was desperate and urgent, pulling me out of my beautiful fairytale evening. I gulped as panic washed over me.

"Why? What's happened?" I begged, suddenly clutching my phone a little tighter.

"We're at the hospital, your mom's being prepped for an emergency caesarean, they don't know what's wrong yet" My heart leaped to my throat as he spoke, tears welling in my eyes. Something terrible was happing to my mom and baby brother or sister and I was miles away powerless to help.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, keep me updated and tell them I love them" I finished as quickly as possible. Knowing I had to get home straight away, I turned to run back into the hall and say goodbye to my friends, only to find Dylan right behind me.

"Is everything alright?" I just shook my head and pulled him into a hug.

"Mom's in hospital, I have to get home" I sobbed my voice sounded very weak and distant. Dylan hugged my tight and led me straight outside. He drove me to my grandparents telling them the little details I had retold to him on the car ride, while I raced around like a maniac packing up my stuff. I gave Dylan a big hug, as my grandparents gathered up some stuff and loaded it all into the car.

"I love you" I whispered it was all I could say. I brought my lips to his hoping a kiss would tell him everything I couldn't express right at that moment. It seemed to do the trick.

"I love you too, call me when you land" he instructed, opening the car door for me.

Uncle Nate rang just as we arrived at the airport saying he had organised tickets. Something we were very thankful for, as we were kind of just hoping to jump on any flight that would take us in the right direction.

I couldn't sit still on the plane fidgeting the whole way, constantly checking the time.

Nate was at the airport when we landed getting us to the hospital in the early hours of the morning. He explained what had happened during our absence to my grandparents but I wasn't really listening. Words like emergency, and phrases like it doesn't look good, send chills down my spine.

"The doctors can't tell us much, Shane hasn't left her side so he hasn't told us anything either" Nate explained as we pulled into the hospital car park. We practically jogged down the quiet dark halls in silence. Aunt Caitlyn pulled me into a tight hug when she saw me, promising everything would be ok. I wasn't allowed to see mom or dad and no one was really telling me anything. We sat on a row of plastic chairs lining a corridor wall, I heard the adults mutter stuff about taking me home, letting me sleep and trying to not worry me too much. Dad finally came out of some double doors not that long after we got there. He didn't look or talk to any of us; he just walked a little down the hall and sat down on a chair. He dropped his head to knees and held it in place with his hands. I stood up abruptly from my seat and moved quickly towards him a few hands reached out to stop me but someone told them to let me go. I ran to my dad skidding in my now bare feet and dropping to the floor in front of him. The skirt of my dress pooled around my ankles and feet reminding me I still had it on. I place my hand over his pulling them away and raising his head. There were tears leaking from his brown eyes which I am sure exactly matched my own teary eyes. He looked so broken, so in pain and as helpless as I felt.

"Daddy" I whispered unable to say anymore. He sat up straighter helping me up off the ground he pulled me into his lap and held me close. I rested my head on his chest and his head rested on mine. As I felt his tears drop onto my head more tears fell from my eyes. No one approached us. We just sat there holding each other, like the world would fall apart if we let go.

It was some time later that a nurse broke up the embrace pointing back towards the double doors gesturing for dad to follow. I gripped his hand firmly, letting him know I wouldn't be left behind. His arm wrapped around my shoulders directing me through with him. We walked down another corridor and into a small room; Mom was lying in this room. She looked extremely pale. An oxygen mask was covering her face and wires and tubes were dangling from her arm connected to various equipment. I ran over to her, but dad stopped me with just one hand on my shoulder.

"Careful" he warned releasing me. I walked over to my mother watching as she slept. My fingers reached for hers brushing gently across them.

"The sedative should wear off soon, we thought you would like to be here when she wakes up" The nurse explained. It took about half an hour for mom to wake up fully. She was really groggy when she first opened her eyes, barely able to string together two coherent words.

"Where is he?" she finally choked out her voice thick with sleep.

"The doctors are still ensuring he is ok, when your blood pressure settles you can go see him" the nurse smiled in response. Mom didn't seem to like this though she pulled back her blankets and tugged at the wires in her arm, successfully removing her IV drip, needle and all.

"Woah, lie back down, Mitch" Dad said moving between me and her, pushing her back down onto the bed.

"I am sure he is fine, just focus on you right now" Dad continued trying to reason with her.

"His right, you will be of no use to either of your children if you're unwell" the nurse pointed out. This seemed to settle mom down but only a little.

"Go and check Shane" mom begged her eyes desperate and scared. Dad nodded telling her to rest and that he would be back soon. He took me with him to the nursery. A neonatal doctor smiled as we walked in after washing out hands and putting on the required gowns. This was the intensive care unit of the maternity ward, reserved for the sickest of infants. Like my little brother. Who had just managed to survive a rather traumatic premature birth. He was gorgeous, despite all the wires covering his body. We couldn't touch him because he had to stay in his little baby bed until his body temperature stabilized.

"We are really pleased with his progress so far, he seems to be fairly stable for now" Dada explained that he wasn't breathing when he was born and how everyone had panicked. Little Christian James Gray had been rushed from the room with a team of doctors and nurses before dad could even blink. Even more tears fell from my eyes as I realised just how lucky we were, we had come so close to losing part of our family.

He is incredibly small looing even smaller wrapped up in those thick blankets and with the blue beanie on his head. I snapped a few photo's on my phone to show our family outside and mom who had yet to see her little boy. Every cried with joy when they saw him. Thankful both he and mom were ok. Mom cried the most, smiling the whole time, she held on to both mine and dads hands as we sat in the nursery watching Christian sleep.

"What are you wearing?" She suddenly asked pulling up the gown to reveal my dress.

"I was at the prom with Dylan when I heard" I giggled shifting in my chair. Dad caught a piece of pink hair between his fingers.

"I hope this washes out" he grumbled, giving me a disapproving look. Mom laughed this time. Telling me she liked it.

"It does wash out though, right?" she added giving me the same look dad had. I bite my bottom lip and nodded.

"I think so" I mumbled hoping they hadn't heard because I knew it wasn't a rinse out dye. Their unimpressed expressions told me otherwise.

**the song is Welcome to Hollywood by Mitchel Musso. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Charlie's Journal  
Chapter Fifteen**

"Hello Charlie" My dad said his brown eyes bright with happiness.

"It's four o'clock so let's go wake your little brother from his nap" he suggested waving for me to follow as he headed through the kitchen and down the hall. He paused at Christian's door before slowly twisting the handle and pushing it open.

"Christian?" his voice cooed softly as he moved closer to the bed. The two year old boy lay tangled up in his green jungle animal sheets. His brown hair was sticking up at funny angles from tossing and turning so much in his sleep. His signature Gray brown eyes snapped open and he started giggling, a musical sound that caused everyone in hearing distance to smile. Christian had always been like that so happy every time he woke up, like it was so amazing just to open your eyes to a brand new day, a little surprise left by the sandman each time he fell asleep.

He scrambled out of his sheets kicking them away and jumped from his bed. He ran passed dad and out of his room. sprinting to the kitchen still giggling he ran into mom's arms she scooped him up lovingly and handed him the two cookies that were sitting patiently waiting for him on the counter. She placed a kiss on top of his head and lowered him to the ground. As soon as his little feet touched the floor he was off again, always in a hurry. Dad chased him down the hall, where he stood waiting by my bedroom door, no longer laughing. Dad reached over him and opened the door pushing it open so he could run inside. The smile returned to his face as he dashed across the room waving his prize in the air.

"What do you have there, Christian?" I asked from the spot on my bed where I had been doing my homework. I smirked as I helped up onto the bed, I already knew the answer. It was the same as yesterday and the day before and the day before that, it was his routine. Christian offered me one of his cookies and sat calmly on my bed with his legs crossed. His big brown eyes looked up at me with a cookie wedged firmly between his fingers and his lips. He wanted me to play a song, he always did. It was evidently clear the musical talent was not a Gray family trait that would miss my little brother. I lifted my guitar up that was next to me and plucked a few strings checking it was perfectly in tune before I began.

_Every single day I wanna tell you how I feel_

_But I never get passed the butterflies_

_And I just don't know if I can deal _

_Are you really into me, cause I know I'm into you_

_And I don't wanna take another step_

_Until you say you feel it too _I sung softly alternating my gaze between my little brother, my dad and my guitar.

_And it looks like rain, But that's alright with me _My voice rose as I hit the chorus trying to add more emphases to the song.

_I'm standing here just looking for the chance to make you see_

_Sometimes a little rain is all you need_

_So let it come and wash all over me. _

The camera angles suddenly completely changed an image of me on stage filled the television screen. Behind me Seth was on the drums, on the stool next to me Noah was strumming away at a guitar and on my other side Dylan was tapping a tambourine against his leg. A quick shot of the audience cheering then back onto us as I began to sing again.

_You can ask my friends_

_They'll say I'm talking all the time_

_But whenever you try to say hello_

_I freeze then you say goodbye_

_But I'm not trying to be cool_

_It's just that I'm a little shy_

_And I wanna be straight with you tonight_

_Wanna tell you that you're the one I like _I gave Dylan a grin as I sang this last sentence to him.

_And it looks like rain, But that's alright with me _

_I'm standing here just looking for the chance to make you see_

_Sometimes a little rain is all you need_

_So let it come and wash all over me. _The camera angles changed again to show my little brother standing right next to the stage dancing away to the chorus bopping up and down and jumping around like it was some amazing rock song, a big grin on his face. It brought tears to my eyes as I sat their on my bed watching it. Dylan drummed his hands along the edge of my bunk, catching my attention, and then told me to shove over so he could squish into the bunk with me. He lifted my head resting it on his chest to make more room.

"Feeling home sick?" he asked already knowing the answer, his fingers brushed the hair out of my face and danced comfortingly across my back. I reached up and paused the home video. Dad had made it before we left.

"We will be home in just two weeks" Dylan reminded me kissing the top of my head. I nodded and held him tightly.

"You could give them a call?" he offered trying to make me feel better. I raised my head to look him in the eyes. I knew it bothered him to see me upset so I smiled and gave him a kiss.

"No, I'm ok, you're here now" I whispered adding a second kiss for good measure. We were currently on a summer tour around the country, this time without our families. It was our tour this time, we were the headlining act, and all the people who bought tickets were coming to see us. That felt pretty cool. Alexis had joined us on tour this year too, as our official stylist. She was in charge of hair, makeup and wardrobe of anyone who went on stage. Dylan's fingers brushed across the cool metal of my silver purity ring.

"One day I'll get you a ring to replace this with" he breathed so quietly I almost didn't hear him. I turned my hand over capturing his and bringing it to my lips. I kissed the back of his hand and smiled blissfully. I have to be the luckiest girl alive.

I remembered this moment as I stood up on stage that night singing my song. We have split it pretty much sixty-forty between Dylan and I as to who sings on stage.

_Over and Over I try to get closer_

_But I always end up alone_

_I search for a sign that you wanna be mine_

_But until then I'm taking it slow_

_And it looks like rain, but that's alright with me_.

_I'm standing here just looking for the chance to make you see_

_Sometimes a little rain is all you need_

_So let it come and wash all over me. _

Pressing play on the video Christian finishes his cookie as I finish the song, crawling across the bed he sits down on my lap, after I put the guitar down.

"You know Christian, when I was your age I had a big sister who was much older than me. But it turns out she wasn't my sister. Lucky for you little guy, I am definitely your big sister" I told him and dug my fingers into his sides. He squealed with laughter.

"Now as your big sister it's my job to watch out for you, save you from our crazy family" I chuckled as he sat on my knee looking up at me clearly having no idea what I was talking about.

"My words of wisdom…get used to it kid, we are just as crazy as they are. It's genetic" I told this last bit to the camera, while he didn't get it know when he's older he will. The image blurred as dad put the camera down on my bookshelf facing the bed.

"Don't listen to her little man, we aren't crazy" he reassured moving over to the bed to sit down next to me. There was talking in the kitchen that couldn't quiet be heard as the Christian began jumping on my bed, both dad and I watching him carefully.

Three year old Kennedy suddenly came bursting into the room diving onto my bed and tackling Christian into the pillows. He didn't cry though he just started laughing at his crazy older cousin. Nate, Caitlyn and mom came in next all squishing onto my double bed.

"What's going on?" Nate asked his older brother, while Caitlyn peeled her energetic daughter off of her nephew. Kennedy shared her mothers light brown hair and tangled curls, but the Gray family brown eyes ruled the Gray cousins.

"We're making a home video, for Charlie to take on tour with her" Mom explained for him.

"Only it sort of became a video for Christian" I added, taking hold of the kid's hands and standing up so I could jump on the bed with them.

"Charlotte thinks we are a crazy family" Dad snorted pulling mom into a loving hug.

Wahoo! Uncle Jason suddenly yelled from the doorway before making a grand leap/ tumbles move and somersaulting completely across the bed. We all burst out laughing.

"Yep your right dad, were definitely a normal family" I smirked sitting back down, as not to encourage my uncle to join in with the jumping, someone would be likely to get hurt then.

"Well that's my story and I'm sticking with it!" Nate declared the smile on his face telling us he was seriously happy trying to convince himself we were a normal family.

"Agreed" we all muttered in unison before laughing again, the tape ended with us all tickle/ pillow fighting each other on my bed. Laughing and being silly, then chasing each other down the hall as some decided to run. I picked up the camera staring straight into the lens.

"Kennedy and Christian sure our family is crazy and annoying as hell, but we're really close and you can't change your family. My real words of wisdom… you can't beat them so just join them, it's more fun." I blew a kiss to the camera.

"Love you" I finished then the tape went blank. I tossed the camera to my bed and took my own advice tearing down the hall after my family.

**the song is Rain by Katelyn Tarver. **

**AN: Hey Everyone,  
That was the last chapter of Charlie's Journal. Sorry it was such a short chapter, but I felt it didnt need anymore.  
I want to give you all a big thank you, I have recieved to date.  
16 favourites for this story, 16 alerts and 85 reviews. You guys are amazing and the reason I keep writing.  
There will not be a third Charlie story, however I will post a companion story soon called Mitchie's Story.  
Thanks again for all your support.  
PrincessKay. **


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